Star Wars: Skeleton Crew

Can't believe you said you wanted to be a Jedi when you grow up.

So what if I did?

Don't you ever want to do anything exciting?

I found something buried in the woods. Wait a minute. Someone's been here.

- You. - Name's Fern.

She's KB. And this is our find.

If we open it, then we get to go in and look.

Deal.

- It's just a droid. - A dead droid.

Do not touch that. Don't touch anything.

Come on. Let's go! Let's go!

It's a starship?

- Dad! Dad! Up here! - Wim!

You idiot! What did you do?

We're gonna explode into a million pieces!

- I-- I can turn it off. I can turn it off. - How?

Whoa!

Where are we?

If that was hyperspace, we could be really, really, really far away.

This is so bad.

We-- We need to turn around and go home right now.

Okay, okay. Easy.

If you press another button,

I swear I will--

What is that?

Captain! Intruders in the cockpit!

What should I do with these gremlins? Snap their necks?

Throw them out of the airlock?

Don't hurt us!

Captain? Captain?

Gotta do everything around here.

- Come along, you lot. - Ow!

- Help! Let me go! Help! - No! No! Let him go!

- Let him go. - Where are you taking him?

- To see the captain. - You gotta do something.

- I think he might be malfunctioning. - Neel.

- I can handle a droid. Come on. - Captain.

Hey! Your captain's dead.

Impertinent creatures trying to f-f-fool me.

Then why are we here and he's not?

According to my program, there can be no ship without a captain.

And the ship, she's still here, so... Captain.

Captain. Captain.

Wim, what should we do?

Don't ask him. He's the whole reason why we're here in the first place.

- Really, it's my fault? - Captain.

It definitely is.

- It kind of is. - Captain.

I got this. Hey, droid.

What do you want?

What's your name?

There are some who call me SM-33.

Well, SM-33, I have some bad news.

I killed your captain.

Most unlikely. You seem ill-favored for combat.

But it's true.

I stabbed him right in the guts and threw him into space.

Which makes me your new captain. Right?

What am I to do with these stowaways?

Captain?

Hey, no fair! I wanted to be the captain.

As crew, you may challenge the captain to a battle to the death.

Uh, no, that's okay.

Now, SM-33.

- Show me how to fly my ship. - It's simple.

Primary acceleration, pitch, yaw, roll, trim control, secondary acceleration,

rear thrusters, side thrusters, base thrusters, secondary base thrusters,

tertiary thrusters, rear shield, front shield, and finally, flaps. Got it?

Yeah. Makes complete sense.

- What does this one do? - No, no. No!

That's the emergency hull demolition sequencer, you fool!

- Never ever, ever touch that. - I'm not gonna touch it.

- I wish you hadn't said that. - Can I fly the ship?

- Wim, no! - No!

Aw, man.

Can you fly it?

I most humbly suggest we fix the critical systems as soon as possible.

I know a safe starport where we can get anything we need, no questions asked.

No starports. Just turn this thing around and get us home.

Aye, Captain.

Tell me, where is it that you call home?

Just back where we came from. It's At Attin. Where we just were.

C-Can't say I remember no At Attin.

How does he not know?

Try searching your memory bank's last location.

Searching, searching, searching,

searching, searching, searching...

...searching, searching...

I think the rat ate his brain.

...searching, searching...

Hey, little guy.

- He-He jumped at me. I'm all right. - At Attin! Take us to At Attin!

- Might you be thinking of Atollon? - No.

Al Alcor? Aldhani? It's a sulfurous bog world.

- No! At Attin! - No! At Attin!

Tell me then, Captain, which one is At Attin?

We're lost.

We're really lost.

Wim, you promised we wouldn't get in trouble,

but now we're way, way out past the Barrier

in so much trouble that we're lost forever.

Well, it's not all my fault.

Shall I throw him out of the airlock for insolence, Captain?

Just...

Just bring us to that starport you mentioned.

Someone there can give us directions home.

Aye, Captain.

Prepare for hyperspace jump in three, two, one.

What was that?

Primitive lifeform. Scan is normal.

Have you scanned anything abnormal?

Negative. There's nothing in this sector.

Search team four, reporting in.

Source of seismic disturbance not found.

Wait. Something detected. Moving fast.

Help! Help!

Sir, this is a restricted area.

What are you doing out here?

A starship. A starship. My son.

- Sir, please remain calm. - Wim and these other kids.

There's three of them. They just took off in a starship.

A starship?

Impossible. Starships are not permitted to enter or leave the--

Could be out past the Barrier by now!

Breaching the Barrier is a serious violation.

- The Supervisor will not a-- - You gotta find 'em.

It's not safe out there. You gotta bring 'em back.

- Of course. Come with us, sir. - You gotta find my son.

Wim!

Wim!

Wim, are you okay? We're in hyperspace.

Wim?

Look!

I think they died in a duel.

I wanna show you something else! Come on!

I think I found the captain's room.

- Look, we can all sleep in here. - Ew.

Isn't it wizard?

All these skeletons and things are...

are really neat and everything, but don't you wanna go home?

Go home?

We just got here. Here, hold this.

What about my mom and dad? They're probably really worried.

And the twins, Jorko and Jobo, and little baby Tuloo?

Neel, we're in a starship now.

We can go anywhere we want in the whole wide galaxy.

But there's a skeleto--

All this stuff is creepy and gross.

And the ship, it smells bad.

Do you really wanna sleep here? I just wanna get to the starport.

Wait. We are going to the starport?

Ah, Port Borgo.

They say of Borgo, you'll rest well in a soft bed or a shallow grave.

This wee ferryman will take you to the port.

I'll stay aboard and start repairs.

J-Just be sure to keep your blaster at the ready.

And trust no one, Captain.

Whoa. Oh.

Wow. Look at all those ships.

I think it wants payment.

Pay it, Wim.

Ooh.

Remember, we need directions home, that's all.

Wim. Wim, what are you doing?

I'm hiding the rest of my dataries.

Oh! Ew.

Okay, all we gotta find is one normal place to ask for directions.

Look, aliens.

They're so weird-looking.