In Stereo

Hey, babe.

How are ya?

Good, how'd it go?

It was fine.

Boring, you know?

Not very exciting, but it was good.

So...

What's this thing you texted me about?

I don't wanna tell you.

What happened?

Okay, fine, I'm gonna

admit it, I'm gonna admit it.

You're gonna admit it?

Yeah.

Okay, I came home, here home.

Here home, uh huh.

- I took a shower, and then for some

reason I threw the towel over the lamp.

Yeah?

Hi.

Hi.

So I threw the towel over the lamp.

I heard ya.

- And then I ordered some food and I ate

and I guess I fell asleep watching TV.

So when I wake up...

- What happens when you wake up, babe?

- The lamp and the towel on fire.

I swear to God, I mean there is

smoke everywhere, the fire alarm is going off

in the building, the fire department come.

Everyone's evacuated to the street.

What the...

- I mean people in robes, women with

pimple cream on their face, babies crying

and they're super pissed off 'cause

it's freezing cold, and I know that

they know that I did it because this

super hot fireman is talking to me

making me look all guilty and shit.

- Sexy fireman making you feel guilty?

- Yeah, it was awful, I wanted to die.

I'm sorry about your lamp, it was so pretty.

Thanks, babe.

Yup.

- Let me ask you, why are you always

at my place when I'm not here, huh?

Your spot's where it's at,

stop fucking with my building, babe.

I love it here, it's all cozy

and it smells like you.

Yeah?

It does smell like me.

It does.

For sure.

Oh man...

So I was thinking...

What were you thinking?

- That maybe we should live together.

David.

David!

You were saying?

What...

Nice!

It's nice in here.

Calming, it's very...

Very calming, I like it.

I like the brick.

Much better than the other thing at the other place.

Yeah, I'm happy with it.

Awesome, that's good.

How about them Knicks?

Unbelievable, huh?

It's crazy, right?

Have you seen any of their games recently?

No, no, I like tennis.

I got nothing, I really don't,

and I'm thirsty, so I'm gonna run down

and grab something to drink,

you want a Coke, anything?

- David, we really shouldn't interrupt

the session, there's water in the cooler.

- I wasn't actually thinking of water.

Well I can have my assistant

go down and get you something...

- How about that bottle of bourbon right there

calling my name, how about we crack

that baby boy open, huh?

Come on.

Okay, okay, right, sorry.

So where were we?

Well I had asked you...

Our hour's almost up, right,

you must have new thoughts,

insights, right?

I like it better when you talk more than me.

So what's your call, Sean, crazy or not crazy?

Not crazy, right?

- Actually, you walked in ten minutes ago.

I asked you a question nine minutes ago,

and you just sat there silent for those

nine minutes and then you made a

comment about my brick wall,

so yeah, maybe a little crazy.

Why don't you tell me what happened to you?

I gotta take these.

So ass beatings aside, you know

what really eats my fucking lunch?

People making their baggage my news,

Jen does that shit when she doesn't

have strange cock in her mouth.

You said you wanna know what's up this time,

so let me lay it out.

You going to yoga today?

Yeah, I have it at

11, what about you?

What are you doing today?

I got a shoot, just one.

All right, bagels?

I love how excited

you get over bagels.

All right.

Everything with cream cheese.

I know, babe.

Bye.

Bye.

Forgot my phone.

Shit, where'd I leave it?

Jen?

Have you seen my, have you

seen my phone anywhere?

No.

No?

Oh my God.

Are you serious?

What are you thinking,

what are you doing, huh?

I wasn't doing anything.

You weren't doing anything?

No?

You're going through my phone,

why would you do that?

I was just using yours to

look something up real quick, David.

Was that all you were doing?

Yeah?

Give me a break.

- Hey, hey, stay away from my shit,

I don't fuck with yours!

I wasn't in your shit!

Jesus, you're such a fucking crybaby,

I can't even talk to you anymore.

All you can do is find other people's shit to go through, huh?

Fuck yourself!

Good, good good, I will, one

less fucking thing for you to

do, where's my fucking camera?

Don't be here when I get

back, fucking asshole!

Don't worry, I won't be!

Who are you talking about?

She doesn't do anything with Sophie,

she's a jackhammer, Chris.

I know, but I mean she's

been like that since you met her, what...

She's a child, dude.

That's what she is.

She talked shit about what I read

meanwhile she carries an US Weekly

with her everywhere she goes.

I hear you, I hear you.

And she can do and say

just enough to injure you where you

can still walk, but with a limp,

you know what I'm saying, man?

No, I know, I know.

Fucking sick of it, dude.

Sick of it, you hear me?

I don't know what's gotten into her.

I really don't.

She's got no reason to suspect anything

and there she is digging through my shit.

I know, but I mean...

David?

Hey, you there?

David?

She'll be back, just use the time

to lay your words out nice and tight.

You turn into a fucking human

speech impediment around her sometimes.

Yeah, yes, what?!

David!

They've been trying you at the offices,

they've been trying your phone,

I've been trying your phone.

- Trisha, I'm telling you right now

I can't deal with one of your

fucking rants, seriously, not right now.

- Your interview, you big baby, Flair Magazine!

God, I knew you'd forget!