The Legend of Fall Creek

On October 31, 1988, 10-year-old Robert Maxwell

attended a classmates Halloween party.

Several of the children there tormented Robert,

giving him a panic attack.

His nose began to bleed uncontrollably.

Confused and scared, he ran out the house

as children chased him deep into the neighboring woods

known as Diablo's Den.

That night, eight children returned but Robert did not.

Through the following weeks,

a Fall Creek Valley search party scoured the woods,

but he was never found.

As the years passed, many claimed to see the ghost of Robert

wandering the streets on Halloween night.

Still wearing his costume

leaving a crimson trail from his bleeding nose.

Thus began the urban legend of Bloody Bobby.

I just want this all to go away.

I know.

Maybe this could be kind of therapeutic

for you to talk about all of this.

You're not gonna spin this around?

No I won't, Alex.

I'm a journalist too you know.

I've seen it all

and I know when I'm being duped.

I'm not gonna dupe you.

This...

This is the biggest tragedy

in the history of Fall Creek Valley.

It's not gonna go away.

You know, maybe I could write my own story huh?

That way it wouldn't have all the lies

that other people would put into it.

Yeah I don't think you could be very objective about it.

It doesn't matter anyway.

People are gonna take away from this whatever they want.

I could say whatever I want to say

and you could write whatever you want.

It's not gonna stop it from becoming

some twisted urban legend.

Parents are gonna find their kids in the dark chanting.

As if they're trying to channel his spirit.

Bring him back to life.

They're gonna hear their kids whispering,

Bloody Bobby! Bloody Bobby!

Bloody Bobby! Bloody Bobby!

Bloody Bobby! Bloody Bobby!

Bloody Bobby! Bloody Bobby!

Bloody Bobby! Bloody Bobby!

Bloody Bobby! Bloody Bobby!

Ooh!

That was like shaving my fuzzy man-purse with a switchblade!

Hardcore!

My body is shakin' and my head is quakin'

after that skull-pounding number from Jetset Rejects.

If you can't get enough from that band,

you can catch them tomorrow night

at our Annual Hallow-Scream Creepshow.

Rumor has it that lead singer Mike Scott

will be judging the costume contest.

First prize for Best Male Costume is 5,000 big ones.

First prize for the ladies

is a night alone with Mike Scott himself.

Now we've been dropping clues all week

for the secret location of this annual rock fest.

Last clue for you comes tomorrow at two o'clock sharp.

Your last chance for this devlishly-rockin good time

brought to you by 101.6.

Okay, listen, I know we've been to Hallow-Scream

for the past last like 20 years

but I am so giddy I want to pee in my pants! (laughs)

No seriously we are gonna have the best costumes.

They are gonna kick so much ass!

Costumes?

What costumes?

I wanted to surprise you.

You're gonna be He-Man and I am gonna be She-Ra!

Uh!

Oh great a shitty gay-ass cartoon from the 80s!

Cool!

I can't believe you just said that!

She-ra was my idol!

Aw man that show was propaganda.

It was a gay recruitment cartoon.

Here we go.

Aw don't give me that.

Alright, look, gay guys can't reproduce right?

Alright, look, you got He-man.

This buffed up hunk protector of the universe.

But what's his true identity?

Prince Adam.

Boring, pale-faced, purple-wearing sissy bitch.

Even his pet is a fucking pussy!

I'm not saying that because its a cat.

Like it's all scared and shit all the time.

So then you got Prince Adam

who wields his mighty magic sword and bam!

By the Honor of Grayskull!

Aw fuck that for the Honor of Grayskull shit.

That was She-ra's thing.

He-man said, "By the power of Gray..."

"By the Power of Grayskull."

"I have the Power!"

Oh, yeah, so you know a lot about He-man

for someone who doesn't really like the show.

So, anyway, after Prince Adam gets the power,

he transforms into He-man.

Tan.

Deep voice.

Shirtless with furry pants on.

Mm-hmm.

He was the inspiration for male strippers

for the next 30 years!

Oh so what you are saying is you think He-man was sexy.

No, I never said sexy.

I said He-man was gay.

Pay attention.

Look at all the other characters

from Masters of the Universe.

Man-at-Arms.

Gay.

Merman.

Gay.

Beastman.

Totally gay.

I mean Fisto.

Fisto?

Supergay!

One million percent gay!

Alright then so all these buffed-up homoerotic men

spend all their time fighting for Grayskull.

And do you know what the Castle of Grayskull truly was?

An All Man's Clubhouse.

No bitches allowed.

Sorry, women.

It's as simple as this.

Gay guys cannot reproduce.

So they have to recruit.

So they make this awesome cartoon filled

with tons of gay overtones to recruit future members

to join the Gay Alliance later on down the road.

And I'm not being homophobic either.

Just simple science.

Recruit or die off.

Don't give me that shit.

Yeah, I hardly think it works like that.

I actually think that's the dumbest thing

that's ever come out of your mouth.

And, believe me, I've heard some dumb shit.

Hey, you're going the wrong way.

It's a shortcut.

Over my dead body.

- (car crashing) - (tires screeching)

What was that?

It's nothing.

You okay?

Yeah.

No, no, no stay in the car!

Okay?

I've gotta check it out.

- (haunting music) - What?

What, what?

- (car door creaking) - We hit a pumpkin!

What the fuck?

- (crickets chirping) - (car door cracks)

Some asshole left a pumpkin in the middle of the road.

Fuckin' up my rig!

Ash, just get back in the car, okay?

Let's just go!

I gotta check this shit out!

This is bullshit!

I'm calling a tow truck!

Hello?

Don't go too far.

Take this.

Thank you.

Ash!

- (loud banging) - (screaming)

What do we have?

I'm not sure but I bet we'll find more answers down there.

Been down there yet?

No, not yet.

I wanted to get this scene all squared away first.

So the vehicle is registered to Ash Simpson.

There's a lot of cash left in the car

so we can rule out robbery.

And based on this driver's license that I found?

That is Crystal Cochran.

No signs of Ash Simpson.