South Park

Mom, Mom!

Mom, seriously, something wonderful has happened!

What is it, snookums?

Mom, look. The Tooth Fairy.

I put a tooth under my pillow, and she gave me $2.

She's only given me a lousy quarter before.

Oh, my.

She must think that you are a very special little muffin.

Yeah, this is so tits!

Don't say tits, Eric.

Oh, I mean, this is so cool!

Well, perhaps now you should take that money

and open up a savings account

that has compounded daily interest.

You can compound daily my ass with interest, Mom.

I'm going to the toy store and buy me a skateboard.

But, Eric, I think maybe the Tooth Fairy

wants you to use that money to learn about saving.

Mom, you don't know what the Tooth Fairy

wants me to do with this money, okay?

You're not the Tooth Fairy. I'll see you later.

Oh, man, this is so tits!

You guys, you're not going to believe this!

Oh, my god, you guys, seriously!

Just wait until you hear this, you guys!

I'm rich, I'm totally rich!

Aren't you stoked?

What the hell's wrong with Cartman?

He's fat and he's stupid?

Look at what the Tooth Fairy left me last night.

$2. - No way.

For one tooth? - For one tooth.

Dude, every time I lost a tooth, I only got a quarter.

I only got a jar of gefilte fish.

Well, that doesn't matter,

because I have an idea that is totally tits.

Totally what?

Look, I don't know why the Tooth Fairy's

being so cool to me.

Maybe she's hot for me. I don't know.

But if we all chip in with teeth,

then I can hide them under my pillow,

and we can get enough money to buy a Sega Dreamcast.

Together: Sega Dreamcast?

All we need is teeth.

I already lost all my baby teeth.

Me too.

Mm-mm.

You still have baby teeth, Kenny?

No way! - Kenny, think about it.

Don't you want a Sega Dreamcast?

Alright, Kenny's in, you guys!

Tits!

Okay, the string is tied to Kenny's tooth.

You ready over there?

Almost.

You ready, Timmy? - Timmy!

When I say go, you slam

your electric wheelchair into high gear.

Okay, Timmy? - Timmy!

Right, you're Timmy. - Timmy, lab a lay ah!

I'll tell you why it has to be you, Kenny.

Because your family is poor

and therefore has bad oral hygiene,

so your teeth are going to fall out someday anyway.

If you think about it, you should actually be thanking us.

"Oh, thank you guys."

You're welcome, Kenny. - Fuck you!

Alright, get ready, Timmy. - Timmy!

Hey guys, what are you doing?

What does it look like we're doing, Butters?

We need a tooth, so we're using.

Timmy's wheelchair to pull out one of Kenny's.

Oh, hey, I got a loose tooth right here.

Together: You what? - You what?

Timmy! - Yep.

One of mine came out not two hours ago.

Uh, Butters, could we have it?

Well, heck, no, you can't have it.

Why, I'm going to stick it under my pillow

and get money from the Tooth Fairy.

She gives me 50 cents a tooth.

Well, I'll see you, fellas.

Dude, maybe we don't have to rip a tooth

out of Kenny's mouth.

Yeah, we just have to get Butters' tooth.

Whoo-hoo! - How we gonna get it from him?

I guess we'll have to sneak into his house

after he goes to sleep tonight.

Yeah, let's go. - Go, Timmy, go!

Yaaah, Timmy!

No, Timmy, wait! - Timmy!

Oof!

You guys, I can see Kenny's little ping-a-ling.

Waaah!

Higher, you guys.

Jesus Christ, why did we pick the fat guy to lift up in there?

Ah! Careful, you assholes!

To the left, you guys, left.

No, camera left, camera left.

That's it. Now down.

What the? Who's there?

Who is that?

I am the Tooth Fairy, my child.

Oh, sorry, Miss Fairy, I didn't mean to gaze at you.

I'm back asleep now. See?

Yes, now I will leave you tidings under your pillow.

Oh, gosh, I didn't think you'd be so fat.

Hey! - Come on, fat-ass.

Do not open your eyes until morning,

or else I will kick you in the nuts,

square in the nuts.

Yes, ma'am.

Well?

Bull's-eye.

I love that song, Mom. Sing it again.

No, honey, mommy's got to save her throat.

I have to work tonight.

Okay. Good night.

What do you have there, Eric?

Another tooth fell out today.

I'm leaving it for the Tooth Fairy.

Oh, my, the Tooth Fairy will have to give you a big surprise

for losing two teeth in two days.

I know, huh?

You guys, oh, my God, you guys!

You're not going to believe it!

It's beyond rational thought, you guys!

Holy crap, you guys!

Did the tooth fairy come? - $4.

Oh, my God! - Wow!

Do you guys know what this means?

Yeah, we just got to keep finding teeth

and putting them under your pillow.

Dentist's office.

Oh, hello. Dr. Roberts?

It's Miss Cartman.

Oh, yes, Miss Cartman, what can I do for you?

Well, it's my son.

He's lost a lot of his baby teeth,

and I was starting to get worried.

Well, losing baby teeth is a natural thing, Miss Cartman.

How many has he lost?

About 112.

112?

Yes. 15 of them in one night.

Perhaps he should switch toothpaste?

Your son wouldn't happen to be an alligator, would he?

No? Hmm, I see.

Well, I'm afraid I can't help you right now.

The American Dental Association Convention is this week.

But as soon as I get back, I'll look into it.

Oh, thank you.

Freebie next week!

What?

Ti...

Tooth?

What the hell?

Mom! - Yes, Eric?

The stupid Tooth Fairy forgot to bring me money last night.

Call the police. - Oh, Eric, poopie, sit down.

Mommy has something to tell you.

It's just that...

Well, there is no Tooth Fairy, Eric.

I've been putting all that money under your pillow.

And because you've had so many teeth fall out,

I've actually run out of money and can't go

to the grocery store for at least a month.

You almost had me for a second there, Mom.

There's no tooth fairy.

I suppose you're going to tell me

there's no Santa Claus, Easter Bunny, or Jesus either.

Mom?

I'm sorry, Eric.

All children find out sooner or later.

You... you're serious here.

There really is no Tooth Fairy?

No, honey, it's just...

How could... how could you lie to me, Mother?

Lie right to my face.

Oh, Eric, it's just part of being a child.

How can I trust you?

How can I trust anyone ever again, Mother?

I guess that to make it in this life,

I can only trust myself.

Myself and Willikins Bear, of course.

Eric. Eric, wait.

No, Mother! No more lies!

Dude, where's the money? - There is no money.

No more money?

What are you talking about, Cartman?

We're only $167 away from getting a Sega.

I know. - Cartman, what's going on?

You guys...