I Can't Sleep (J'ai pas sommeil)

I CAN'T SLEEP

France Inter, 6:40.

Many of our listeners aren't young, as your letters show.

There are a lot of old people in Paris.

If you want to live to 100, be careful.

Don't open your door to strangers. The granny killer is out.

It's in the news.

Follow my advice and remain happy.

Now, some music.

-What can I get you? -Coffee. Big.

-Sasha? -This is Alexander Shimetov.

Speak after the tone.

It's Daiga. I'm in Paris. I'II call you back.

Thank you.

-How much? -34.10 francs.

Write it down.

Three croissants, a call, and a coffee. 34.10 francs.

One croissant!

No, three croissants, a call, and a coffee. 34.10 francs.

Give me that.

Unbelievable. It's always Iike that.

It was the same on St. Germain.

Miss!

No parking here. Niet good. No good.

-Pedestrian crossing. -What are these plates?

-Car plates? -Lithuania.

Lithuania or not, there are Iaws here.

CIam up, seal dick.

We'II impound it next time!

Are you asleep?

No.

-That's mine. -Take it, then.

Is Mona here?

Come on.

Excuse me, miss.

I'd Iike to open my door.

It's me, Aunt Ira.

-Me who? -Sharunas' granddaughter.

Daiga!

I didn't expect you so soon.

Come in, come in.

Pick up all your junk.

Bring it all inside. Come in, dear.

You're weighed down Iike a packhorse.

Good Lord!

AII that, too?

Holy Mother of God! Come on. What else is Ieft now?

That's perfect!

Very good.

You must be worn out?

I came by car.

By car?

Have you Iost your mind?

AII set?

No, that's Mom's.

-I can't use it, then? -Go ahead, she Ieft it.

Thanks.

-Are you okay? -I'm okay.

Can I take a shower?

Help yourself to a towel.

Do you mind me coming?

I never know when you're going to turn up.

Still off to Martinique?

Yes.

There's nothing there.

The trip must have cost you a fortune.

The trip must have cost you a fortune.

The gas and all. What a stupid idea!

Still, we can't judge, of course.

Life is different here. That perestroika of yours...

I don't know where it's got you.

-Nowhere. -Nowhere, you say?

Exactly. Me, too.

I think it got you nowhere.

More?

Look at you, you're a real beauty.

When you don't know how to do anything...

beauty can be a big help.

What are we going to do with you? Where are we going to put you?

It's impossible here. This isn't exactly a palace.

Make yourself at home. Go on, make yourself comfortable.

What's that? Your belly!

Don't tell me you're pregnant?

Tell me!

It was a big fish.

It's always out of order.

It's a Iong way to climb up.

Modern technology! What a joke!

I need a rest.

Let's go. You go first.

No one visited.

I hadn't seen her for a week.

-What's going on? -The police.

-Where are you going? -The eighth floor.

-Ira, darling! -Still in bed?

I was just about to get up and shave.

Ow! Your beard.

Come in. It's a pleasure.

Hello.

-Enjoy it. -Thank you.

Go into the Iiving room.

I'II warm up some coffee.

It's yesterday's. Do you take sugar?

No time, Vassia!

And the young Iady?

This is Daiga, my great niece.

Welcome.

-She's come from Vilnius. -On holiday?

Idiot! What holiday?

Like everyone else, she wants to stay.

Vassia, give her a place to stay here.

-Ira, you know I Iove you. -So?

Look at the way I Iive.

The Bulgarian dancer can't even dance...

yet I keep him anyway.

There's the Ukrainian and her daughter.

And that one eating there. Where can I put her, Ira dear?

-Unless she comes in with me? -You chatterbox!

In my bed!

She hasn't got a penny...

and doesn't speak any French.

Miss, go outside to smoke.

The smell.

I called the police.

Nobody else would have.

I hadn't seen her for a week.

And the flies....

CIear the corridor.

Imagine dying Iike that.

No one cares about these old people.

What terrible times!

-Okay since this morning? -I don't know.

Well? Is that all?

A Iittle tired.

Me, too, miss. Human beings are animals.

Goodbye.

What do they want?

They've been tailing me all day.

Lord, that's all we needed!

You're not supposed to be here. Children sit in back.

If they stop us, we'II both go to jail, you know.

I know.

-Is that your son? -Yes.

He's cute.

Yes, this way.

What's that?

Is it another book?

-Would you Iike a Coke? -Yeah!

I'd prefer a beer.

I'II get you a Coke, I don't have beer.

Mind the wallpaper. I just had it redone.

Thanks.

I'm through. What do you think?

Maybe it was better on the opposite wall, wasn't it?

What do you think?

I really don't know.

It takes up so much room.

-Coming? -Yes.

Here are the bills for the material.

I haven't been to the bank yet.

-I can give you a check. -No, no checks.

We said cash.

-Call back tomorrow. -No, I can't.

I'd put some aside for shopping.

500 francs, 1,000 francs, 1,500 francs, 2,000 francs. There.

We said 3,000 francs.

I've only got 2,000 francs.

3,000 francs or I take it away again.

I could have had a professional for that price.

Come on.

I mean, it's Iike the black market...

if I can put it that way.

It is off the books.

Your turn, Marie-Rose!

To the right, girls. Be nasty!

Kick! BIock! Kick! BIock!

Knees higher! You're being attacked!

He wants your cash!

One more!

Good, Dede.

Next move.

Right. Balls, forehead. Let's go.

One! Two! Good. Try it again.

One! Two! Balls! Forehead!

You won't be Iaughing if it's a killer.

Jacqueline! One! Two! Good.

Come on, ducky. One! Two! Perfect.

The balls aren't that high. Try to remember.

Balls! Forehead! One more.

Go for the nuts, Ginette!

One! Two! Don't blink, you're being attacked!

It's self-defense.

It's terrible in France.

They slaughter grannies.

Fist! Fist!

Shout! BIock!

Fist! Fist! Shout! BIock!

And bow Iike I showed you.

In that dump? That shitty broom cupboard?

It's the dining room! I need the rooms for guests.