Motorama

When I come home, I want a home-cooked meal. Not this frozen crap!

And I want it on the table!

How'd you like it in your lap, buster? Here!

Okay! Now you eat it!

I'm in hell already, sweet face. That's my line, pig.

Where were you? I tried calling you all afternoon!

With him? Why? You wanna watch?

You were with him again, weren't you? Admit it!

I was with our son. We got a son, you know.

The little jerk! I should've strangled him in the cradle!

Oh, very nice!

Oh, god.

By the way, I'm pregnant again. Just kiddin'.

Take this! Get up now. Come on, you whore.

I said now!

I'd like these changed into bills, please. I have to count them.

Just because you put them in rolls...

Doesn't mean that I don't have to go through and recount them.

All right. Then recount them.

- That could take hours. - Then it'll take hours.

Hey! Here comes somebody.

Look over there! Let me in here.

Come over to the other window.

Look it! It's the same wheels.

Shit.

Do you wanna play with me?

Beat it, kid.

Is there waitress service here, or do I order directly from you?

I'll take your order.

Just a coffee, thanks. No sugar. Right.

Damn, I'm good!

Shh. Look over here. He's gonna go talk to him.

I'll bet you've been asked this before.

But how did you make enough money to buy a fancy set of wheels like that?

Y-you don't really care about that, do you?

I would really like to know.

I... I sold my stamp collection.

I thought collecting stamps was just for little kids.

That's right.

I've had the collection ever since I was a little kid.

Don't you ever get married.

He sold his stamp collection.

Thank you. You're welcome.

Hey! You wait one minute. Get him out of here!

Now, honey, don't get your knickers in a twist.

I haven't finished yet.

I want a chocolate cream pie.

I wanted a big piece.

Okay, on three.

One, two,

three!

Heavier than I thought he'd be. You got that right.

How's work? Same. Same.

Whoa! Yes!

[ Gas station bell dings ]

Hey there! Hello.

Fill it up?

No. You better just make it five dollars' worth.

Right.

I need more string.

I don't know. Looks pretty high up there to me.

Ruby Costello was over here the other day with her camera.

Took a picture of me shakin' hands with officer Perkins.

You know Jerry? No, no.

We're good friends.

And Ruby says she'll send the picture over to the drive-in.

She says they'll show the picture...

Of me shaking hands with a policeman before the picture show.

Says it'll be good for my business 'cause it means I'm not crooked.

Well, that's... What it means, I guess.

Say, you're sort of a little fellow, aren't you?

I says to Ruby,

"No, I got bigger plans than that.

No, sir. It ain't no customers I want to impress."

What's that gonna do, huh? Make me a rich man?

So who cares about this life? You know what I'm saying?

Actually... No.

I mean, I took that picture right back...

'Cause I knew there was only one person...

That I cared about showing I was an honest citizen.

- Check your oil? - No.

Yeah. I figure it's just a matter of getting it up high enough.

He'll see it up there somehow 'twixt all them angels.

Ah, so that's why you need more string.

That's why I need more string.

You got any? Uh, no. No.

Well... Uh, thanks for the gas.

You bet.

I completely forgot. My Motorama cards.

Ruby, I'll call you back. Your what?

Well, aren't you a participating station?

No, it wouldn't be in here.

Listen, uh... Phil.

Huh?

Oh, uh, Phil. You're...

Uh, Gus. Gus.

Gus. Phil.

Listen, Phil, I bought five dollars' worth of gas.

Now, I know that I am entitled to... I know, I know.

I'm lookin' here, see? I'm lookin'. You see me lookin'?

See? I'm lookin'.

It's just nobody asks for no Motorama cards no more.

I swear.

Well, when was the last time you handed them out?

Oh, let's see, uh...

I-I don't know. Keep an eye on my kite, will ya?

Yeah.

Hey, Phil?

Mind if I take a couple of maps? Huh? Yeah, go ahead.

This is Mercer, right? Right.

Motorama cards.

Well, I was afraid of that.

Jerry!

Phillie.

Usual? Yeah, fill it up.

No. Please, no.

How's the air in the ol' tires, Jerry?

Uh, check the front right for me, will ya?

Oh, my god!

You got any cheese puffs, Phil?

Help yourself, Jer.

Hi there, young fella. Uh, hi.

You working here with Phillie? Uh, no, no.

Well, this wouldn't be such a bad place to work.

Maybe you'd wanna work here. Is that it?

Well, you know, I got other plans.

Here's your change, Jerry.

Exactly the right change. Didn't shortchange you or nothin'.

Why don't you count it? That's all right, Phillie.

I owe you for the...

You never paid for 'em before. It's okay.

Ahh! Well, thanks.

- Anything exciting happen on the job? - No, not too, not too.

So, who belongs to that nifty car out front?

Uh, my father.

Really? And where's your father?

- Oh, well, uh, he's in the men's room. - Ah.

Thanks.

See you later, Phillie.

Bye, Jerry.

Uh, you know, Phil, why don't we forget about the Motorama cards this time?

What's this about your father in the men's room, huh?

You lied to that man, and he's an officer of the law. You understand that?

Come on, Phil. You a criminal or something?

What'd you do, murder somebody? Is that it?

- One second there. - No! Let me go!

Now, Gus, tell me. No!

- Tell me! - I'm underage, damn it!

That's all it is, Phil.

I didn't do nothin'. It's just...

I'm ten fucking years old.

I don't have a driver's license.

Underage, huh?

It's not such a terrible crime, is it, Phil?

Well, I guess not, Gus.

Sorry if I flew off the handle back there, Gus.

It's just... You know, I gotta look after my own salvation.

You understand? Absolutely.

If the lord knew I helped a dangerous criminal escape,

you think I'd ever make it to heaven?

I am going to heaven.

Are you?

I'm not dangerous, Phil.

Gus, I believe you.

Still, you are breaking the law. You do know that, don't you?

Whoa, Phil, check it out. Jesus Christ almighty!

- My message to the lord! - Schmuck.

Come back! Come back!

Hey, Phil! Probably means your application was accepted.

You're chosen! No, no! It's too soon.

It's too early for my day of judgment.

Come back! Come back!

So long, Phil.

Uh, excuse me.

What are your rates? Eight a night.

Okay, I'll take a room for the night.

You pay in advance.

Fine.

You sign right here. Right there.

Number ten. It's down the hall.

Okay. Thank you. Need any help with the luggage?

Ah, no. That's very nice of you, but I don't have any.

No luggage?

No. Just a second.

You don't have a girl with you, do you?

No, no girl.

- 'Cause if you do, that'd be another eight. - I don't have a girl.

Well, do you mind... If I check?

See?