Up All Night

Why'd you let him bring the keyboard?

Hi, A.

Wow. How was yoga?

Yoga has opened my eyes to the world,

to myself, to yoga pants.

I mean, look at my butt cheeks.

They have really become something special.

Hello, nice to meet you. I'm Ava's new butt cheeks.

Hey, next weekend, we're heading up

to my dad's cabin in the mountains.

Any chance I could lure you guys along?

Gene-bean,

that sounds like the beginning of a horror movie.

Yeah, we're gonna do the family funlympics

with some of the neighboring cabins.

Sack races, jelly bean jar guessing,

tug of war.

Just like the real Olympics, only there are no losers.

Sounds great. We'd love to.

- Great! - Oh! Wonderful!

Let me just check the old calendar.

Really, I'm a slave to my calendar.

Oh, look, I got a biz meeting at the biz plaza.

What do you need an excuse for?

Did you not just see that whole...

Reagan, would you please tell him?

I don't know.

It's like a free vacation in one of the country's

most beautiful national parks.

Wow, we're already halfway to the cabin.

Look, baby, I'm here with Amy all the time

cooped up in this house, and I... I'd like some fresh air.

I kind of want to do it.

Mm-hmm. Okay.

Well, I want to go on the record by saying

that it's gonna be weird, not fun,

and that, possibly, one of us won't make it back.

Yak, yak. We're gonna go.

- Yeah, it's gonna be super fun. - We're doing this.

Oh, stupendous.

Oh, honey.

Do you want to come with?

- Oh, no. - Okay.

Besides, I'm, um, gonna Palm Springs next weekend

with some friends.

A whole gang of friends.

Your friends?

- this is wildly inappropriate. - Wildly.

Oh, poor Ava.

Honey, look at this picture

that she just posted on instagram.

Well, feet up by the pool. Looks pretty great to me.

Honey, the feet up by the pool pic

is, like, the loneliest pic in the world.

And look at the caption.

"Having a great time in Palm Springs.

Yeah, it's all in caps.

It's like she's screaming out her pain.

I'm gonna call her and see if she'll come up here.

Come on, Amy. Let's go outside!

Great place, gene.

I've never seen this many board games.

Great story.

I inherited those after my uncle's trailer fire.

Games were saved.

My uncle Joe was not so lucky.

"No alcohol or salsa allowed."

Dad's a real stickler

since his lady friend got drunk on taco night

and threw up all over the toilet rug.

There's the great story.

Jewel of the nile,

V.I. Warshawski, baby geniuses.

Your dad's got a real thing for Kathleen Turner, huh?

Yeah, it was not good for a while.

Oh, there it is.

Sweet lady.

Hey, do you think it's dangerous

to spend an entire weekend in a jacuzzi

just to avoid talking to people?

You guys are such snobs about g and t.

If you just spent time with them,

I really think you'd like them.

I think I know everything I need to know

about the Martins.

It's the mardens, with a "d."

Really? Huh.

You know, I'm really thriving on this Mountain air.

I'm gonna go chop firewood.

- Great. - She's not picking up.

She always picks up.

Oh, man, the last time she went on one of these

sad, solo vacays, she ended up

in the Disneyland jail with severe dehydration.

I really hate to do this, babe. I have to go get her.

No, no, babe, you can't leave me alone

up here with the mardens.

Honey, I have to.

Who are the mardens?

The Martins are the mardens.

Really? Huh.

I'm sure Ava's fine.

Yeah, but what if she isn't?

I'm kind of all she has right now.

All right. At least Scott's here.

But bring back salsa.

Never realized how much I wanted it

until I was told I couldn't have any.

Understood.

No sack races this year, Mary-Lee.

We just didn't eat enough potatoes.

Dean and Mary-Lee.

You'll meet them at the funlympics.

Mary-Lee is the Ryan lochte of the egg and spoon relay.

The only reason I won last year

is because she fell in a crevasse.

- - Oh, oh. There he is!

Hey, Scott. How you doing, buddy?

Tweaked my back chopping wood.

It's from an old injury I got from chopping wood.

Well, then why would you...

Oh! Our jacuzzi would be great for your back.

Too bad it's infested with centipedes.

Of course it's infested with centipedes.

Hi, excuse me.

Have you seen a lonely, tearful woman

drinking Pinot Grigio and taking pictures of her feet?

Oh, God, no. Not quite there yet.

It's fine. I... I'll find her.

Reagan?

- Hey. - Reagan?

What are you doing here? And wearing?

Don't worry. I am here now.

Everything is gonna be a-okay.

Well, everything is okay.

I'm on my second frozen Margarita,

and Teddy's been feeding me buffalo wings

so I don't smudge my kindle.

He's gay, so it's not weird.

Well, now, you can do all that with a good friend, right?

- Sure. - Okay, all right.

Check out the real housewives of lilith fair over there.

Oh, those are my yoga girls.

We all came down together.

Reagan, this is Natasha,

my friend and yoga instructor extraordinaire.

- Hi. - Tash, that's Reagan.

Your mom friend.

Welcome.

Your mom friend? What's that about?

You know how people talk in generalities?

Like how you refer to me as your famous friend.

I-I don't do that.

Hold on.

Oh, excuse me for one sec. Hi, Chris.

- How's it going there? - It's terrible, thanks.

Yeah, gene and Terry and I are playing a game of "life,"

which I'm pretty sure we're playing in real time.

I got automobile insurance.

Chew on that, you so-and-sos.

Oh, come on. It's not that bad, right?

Well, I just found a travel mug

full of loose bullets in the utility room.

That seems bad to me.

Why don't you just go hang out with Scott?

Scott threw his back out,

but don't worry, he took a handful

of gene's dad's expired muscle relaxers.

Isn't that right, Scott?

I took six, Chris. I took six.

Yeah, and then he just tried to order a pizza

with gene's sleep apnea machine.

So, yeah, I'm gonna need you back here asap.

Uh-huh.

Here's the thing.

Uh, Ava's in really, really bad shape.

Oy, it's really bad.

And I think I really, really need

to spend the night here.

No, I'm sorry.

I-I thought I just heard you say

that you're gonna spend the night there.

Yeah. That's what I said.

I'm sorry, it sounded like you said

that's what you said.

Honey, I... I've...

Upp... bl...

Recep... d...

You're terrible at the phone cutting out.

- Reagan! -

Reagan, phones do not cut out like...

Reagan!

"Mom friend."

Come on.

Would a "mom friend" do this?

Ahh! Oh, God. Brain freeze.