This Way Up

And there's your receipt.

‐ Thank you.

Jesus, um, right.

So, um, do we‐‐do we just go or do you do a bit of a speech

or what‐‐what happens next?

‐ Well, we're sad to see Aine go. We've loved having you here.

‐ Oh, God, yeah, I've had the time of my life, Teresa.

I hope to come back as often as my schedule allows.

‐ I'm sorry you didn't have a great time.

‐ No, I didn't expect it to be a great time, Teresa.

I'm not stupid. I just‐‐it's a lot of,

uh, Shona's money. ‐ Oh, no, don't‐‐

‐ No, I was just saying it because I think the facilities

could have been nicer like the website shows.

‐ Yeah, I know. ‐ I mean, in fairness to Aine,

when I booked her on the website,

it did make it look like

there was a Jacuzzi. ‐ Yeah.

‐ And, you know, the Jacuzzi was half how I convinced her

to come here in the first place. ‐ Yeah.

‐ You know, 'cause I said, you know, at the worst,

if she came, at least there'd be a Jacuzzi. ‐ Yeah.

‐ Of course, you know, as it turned out, it was just a picture of a‐‐

‐ Duck pond. ‐ Duck pond.

‐ Yeah. ‐ Which‐‐

‐ Well, like I said, this is not a spa.

It's a rehab facility, so we plow our money into care and therapists.

‐ Yeah, I know, but I just don't see how a Jacuzzi‐‐

‐ Or a plunge pool. ‐ Yeah, would be a bad thing for people who just needed

a bit of a boost, you know? ‐ Uh‐huh.

‐ Uh‐huh. ‐ Come on, Sho. It doesn't matter.

‐ So, any other feedback before you head off?

‐ Well, why you saying it like that?

Why are you saying feedback like that?

All businesses should appreciate feedback, okay?

I'm in business. I love feedback.

And, yeah, I do actually. And don't take it the wrong way.

‐ Oh, just leave it, Sho. ‐ No, just one second.

Also on your website you say you get all sorts of people here,

but then Aine tells me that when they were having the group therapy sessions

they mainly dealt with addiction and not with‐‐ ‐ Nervous breakdown?

‐ Oh, good. Is that what I fall under?

I‐‐I thought it was mostly B's‐‐creative type.

‐ Well, don't be sarky. ‐ I'm not being sarky. I'm being sassy.

‐ I ought to punch you in the face in a minute.

‐ I actually have some practical feedback. ‐ Oh, good.

‐ Just as regard to snacks.

So I was thinking mini bars. I'm actually being serious, Teresa.

Because one day when I was really low,

I would have happily paid double the recommended retail price to eat a Kit Kat

without everyone gawking at me.

And ideally in a fucking Jacuzzi.

I'm sorry for cursing there.

‐ That's okay.

‐ Um, can I have the car keys? ‐ Yeah.

‐ Um, yeah, thanks for everything, Teresa.

Good‐bye. ‐ Bye‐bye.

‐ Hey, hey! Take me with you!

‐

Is she, um‐‐ is she fixed?

It's just I didn't really see this coming, so...

‐ I can see you guys are close, yeah? ‐ Yeah.

Well, she's my only sister. Or brother or‐‐

‐ Well, I know this must have been a shock.

'Cause with someone like Aine we try and get them back to a place where they can care

about themselves enough to take care of themselves.

But when she got here she could hardly open her eyes,

and now she's complaining about Kit Kats.

She's made of hardy stuff.

‐ Okay. ‐ Mm?

Yeah? ‐ All right.

Cool, thank you a bunch. ‐ Okay.

‐ Bye. ‐ Bye.

‐ Oh, and, um, I mean that's kind of what I meant earlier.

You know, what I said about a speech, what‐‐what you just did.

So, I don't know, next time or‐‐ I mean, this is feedback.

‐ Yeah, thanks.

My mom split up.

I was talking with Kim and Kourtney about this and when we might see him‐‐

‐ Right, guys, okay. So this should be easy by now, okay?

The family. We all know that Kourtney is the‐‐

Eldest.

‐ Very good, yes.

But Kim is the‐‐ Yes? ‐ Second eldest.

‐ Second eldest. Very good.

But after that then we have Khloé. Khloé is the‐‐

‐ Middle. ‐ Middle mole. Yes, fantastic.

Now, she was‐‐past tense‐‐ was the youngest, until along came‐‐

‐ Kendall and Kylie. ‐ Kendall and Kylie.

And they are the daughters‐‐ the daughters of‐‐ ‐ Kris!

‐ Kristen! Yes, very good. Give me a high five.

Lovely. Now, and Kris, who is the‐‐

‐ Mother. ‐ Mother.

Welcome, Victor. Hello, yes. Mother, fantastic.

Okay, so, uh, they are the daughters of Kris and Caitlyn.

‐ Also the mother. ‐ Is Caitlyn Jenner the mother?

Eh, I don't think that she is the mother.

‐ She's Caitlyn? ‐ She is Caitlyn.

Exactly. And that ends that chat.

‐ I‐‐I love this TV Friday. ‐ Oh, yeah.

And who doesn't love the Kardashians?

No, that was a rhetorical‐‐ not a real question.

So you can put your hands down.

‐ Um, in Romania I see Kardashians all the time.

I‐‐I have big TV.

Oh!

‐ But here Sky TV, a lot money.

Only laptop or BBC.

‐ So, Sky TV costs‐‐ you getting this down on your thing?

Costs too much money. Mm‐hmm.

‐ Rent costs too much money.

Yes, rent costs too much money.

And, guys, listen. I know it can be tough. It can be tough.

But you know what? Love costs nothing.

Aww, love costs zero pounds.

‐ And I love you. ‐ And we love you.

‐ Oh, stop it. You guys are breaking my heart.

Right, um, fill out all of those worksheets by Monday, though,

or I will Brexit the lot of you.

It's a weekend! Give yourself a round of applause!

It's the weekend! It's the weekend!

‐ You been a professional in here?

Oh, yes, very much so.

Actually, Moe, can you take out those plugs?

I've spilled water all over the sockets, so just be careful.

‐ No, Moe, don't‐‐don't touch that socket if it's wet.

‐ Aine‐‐ ‐ I'm joking.

It's one of my little jokes for you.

[Fuse ODG feat. Tiffany's "Azonto"]

‐ Hi, Emma. Aine here.

I'm just wondering what to bring for dinner tonight.

I'm thinking pavlova or a bag of Ketamine.

I'm super psyched to meet all your friends.

You are literally just texting me as I talk to you on the phone.

"Sophie being weird about people she doesn't know coming.

Don't think I can bring you along anymore."

Oh, yeah, that is totally fine.

Eh, I totally get that.

Um, uh, you know, I have loads of other things to do anyways.

Yeah, I'll just eat the pavlova and Ketamine myself.

Eh, have a great night. Bye.

Hi, you've reached Shona's voicemail. Leave a message.

‐ Uh, hello, Shona.

It's me, Dr. Mauregs Barron from the STD clinic.

I'm ringing with your test results.

Unfortunately, um, confirming our worst fears.

You're fanny is rotten from the inside out,

so we're going to have to remove it.

Uh‐‐ Hi, it's me. What are you doing tonight?

Uh, ring back when you get this. Okay, bye.

Alternate Psychotherapy.

‐ Eh, hi. Could I speak to Helen, please?

Are you a patient or family?

‐ Um, patient.

Then I'm afraid she's not free right now.

Do you want to schedule a call for next week?

‐ Uh, could I just not speak

to someone‐‐Helen‐‐now?

Uh, just 'cause I've, um‐‐

I've just shoplifted a smoothie so I'm feeling a bit‐‐

actually, could I speak to Helen about this rather than you?

We can schedule a call for next week.

‐ No, 'cause I‐‐what if I was about to kill myself?

Are you?

‐ W‐‐would that get me through to Helen if I said I was?

No. As I said, she's not available.

‐ Thanks for nothing. Bye.

[J Balvin & Willy William's "Mi Gente"]

‐ Hey‐ya. ‐ VISH: Hi, you okay? What are you doing here?

‐ What am I doing here? Uh, stop flirting with me, Vish.

You're my sister's boyfriend.

‐ All right, look, she is five minutes behind me, okay?

‐ So don't make her late. ‐ Is that you, Aine?

‐ "No, it's your elderly neighbor, Mildred."

‐ Psst, hey, that is a sourdough

I have proving under a tea towel.

It is my little newborn so don't poke it.

‐ I will not make her late and I will not poke your sourdough.

‐ VISH: I love you! ‐ See you in five.

Please don't be late.

‐ Hey, the homeless man at the front

of your building's nice. Did you get my voicemail?

‐ No, and I just got your text. Why, what's wrong?

Oh, no, just listen to it. It's really funny.

‐ I'm not gonna listen to it. I'm in a rush.

You know I have that party tonight, the dinner party.

‐ Eh, no. ‐ Oh, no. Why, what happened?

‐ Oh, no, it's‐‐it's just turned into, like, a pub thing later.

‐ Ah, well, that's more fun probably.

‐ Yeah. Chance to meet new people.

‐ Mm‐hmm.

Vish reckons he makes 200 quid a day out there.

‐ Who?

‐ Who? Homeless guy.

Don't eat that fruit salad. It's Vish's breakfast.

God, Vish is driving me nuts right now.

He just keeps alluding to moving in, you know? But in a sneaky way.