Boiler Room

I read this article a while back...

...that said that Microsoft employs more millionaire secretaries...

...than any other company in the world.

They took stock options over Christmas bonuses.

It was a good move.

There was this photograph of one of the groundskeepers next to his Ferrari.

Blew my mind.

You see shit like that and it just plants seeds.

It makes you think it's possible, even easy.

And then you turn on the TV and there's just more of it.

The 87-million-dollar lottery winner.

That kid actor that just made 20 million on his last movie.

That Internet stock that shot through the roof.

You could have made millions on it if you just got in early.

And that's exactly what I wanted to do:

Get in.

I didn't wanna be an innovator.

I just wanted to make the quick and easy buck.

I just wanted in.

Notorious B.I.G. said it best:

"Either you're slinging crack rock or you got a wicked jump shot."

Nobody wants to work for it anymore.

There's no honor in taking that after-school job at Mickey D's.

Honor's in the dollar, kid.

So I went the white-boy way of slinging crack rock.

I became a stockbroker.

Yeah! Get off!

Two hundred!

Put it down! You put it down!

No. Put your money back down.

So I got in at this firm, JT Marlin, owned by this guy Michael Brantley...

...a salesman among salesmen.

Mr. Brantley.

Mr. Brant-- Ha, ha.

Welcome. How are you?

- These guys? - Great.

- You think you can handle this? - I think so.

You can handle it? We can handle it.

Get ready for some fun.

A double Scotch on the rocks.

Damn! Ha, ha.

Holy shit, yo. Yo, yo, yo, that's the jockey from Venezuela.

He's a sicko. That kid is sick. He weighs like 48 pounds.

One-nineteen, but you're close, slut.

Whatever. Give me 3-to-1 on that skinny little nigger.

I'll give you 3-to-1, yeah. - Richie, Richie.

Just do me a favor, will you? Just for 10 minutes. Just give it a rest.

Yo, homes, I need some cho-caine.

I need some motherfucking nose candy, you know what I'm saying?

I need some cizzi up my nizzi...

...because I need to get high like a motherfucker.

You know what I'm saying? So give me some of that nose candy.

Bring that table over here, beyotch.

All right. Everybody quiet down for a second, all right? Hold on.

Thanks.

I just wanted to let you know those pikers over at the NASD are finally off our ass.

Fucking retard.

Hey, fuck you, bro. I'm on vacation, okay?

Bear Stearns can make calls to the SEC. They can't find any dirt on us.

JT Marlin, once again, has unlimited trading authorization.

I told you guys. You can't keep a good man down.

Yeah!

We're superstars now.

J.P. Morgan just faxed over their congratulations...

...and said, "Welcome to the club."

This means those teams headed by Todd and Richie...

...who were good enough to give up their rep numbers...

...they can stop cold calling and start trading again.

Welcome back.

And just to show you how appreciative I am, there's a little something extra.

Tell me about it, baby, tell me!

I want you guys to go up to Suite 418.

I handpicked them myself.

We're players now, boys. Let's celebrate.

Sorry about that.

What's up?

Don't touch the cards. Don't touch the cards.

Oh, shit.

Yeah!

- Fourteen. Hit me.

Come on, Mike. I told you, you gotta hit the table. Sixteen.

Hit me.

And bust.

- Sorry about that. Fuck.

Can't win a fucking hand tonight.

- Hey, Steve? - Yeah.

- Come here for a second. You thirsty? I don't care.

Here. Go take my car, go get Mike a Coke and a falafel. You hungry?

Yeah. Yeah. Sure. Why not?

- And dealer busts. Yeah!

What the fuck are you so happy about?

Hey, Mike. Whoa, take it easy. Take it easy.

Roller coaster. Ups and downs. You know that.

All right, place your bets.

I was living in Kew Gardens Hills, running my biz...

...giving the Queens College kids something to do between classes.

See you guys. Fuck you.

Okay. I'll see you tomorrow.

I was doing well.

It's strange to think how that knock changed everything.

Everything. Hey, don't get me wrong here.

No, no. I got it.

I don't believe in fate.

I believe in odds.

- He's not gonna let you in. - Why not?

He doesn't know you. He'll think you're a cop.

So what? I got a bankroll that will choke a hippo. Let's just see.

Who are you? What's up?

It's my boy, Greg. Oh, shit, heh.

How you doing? Hey, what are you doing?

Come in. What's going on, man? Come here, crazy.

How are you doing? - What are you doing? Come in. Come in.

Oh, shit.

- Wait. Is that your new ride? Him.

Nice.

- Hi. Seth. - Hey. Greg.

Nice to meet you.

We thought we were done for the night.

Too late to get a couple hands in? - No, no, no, 24/7. You know that.

Hey, Steve, uh, could you get us a couple of sandwiches?

All right. Give me 400.

Wait. Uh, what about the betting? What do we--?

Uh, what were you thinking?

Uh, I don't know. Five hundred, max?

We don't usually service that level of action...

...but, uh, I hate to turn away a new customer.

The thing is we might not have enough cash here to settle you.

Oh, uh, well, that's okay. You can just, uh, pay me tomorrow.

- All right. How much you want? Five dimes.

- Jeff. You had to do it, didn't you?

Make me look like I'm at the kiddie table.

- If the shoe fits, kid. Come on. Fucking rich man.

- What denomination? - What denomination?

Um, how about, uh, three Puerto Ricans, two Chinks and a Guinea?

- I don't care. Mix it up. Whatever you want, heh. - What about a Swahili? Jesus.

I don't know what that is. You're starting to upset me.

You got your own chips, huh, with your name on there? This is no joke.

We used to use the, uh, Bicycle Poker Chips, the kind that you could get at a deli...

...then some kid started sneaking in additional funds.

- Who's that? Moyshe? - No, no. Some kid up the block.

Fucking Moyshe.

- So that's a nice car you have there. - Thanks. A Ferrari.

Yeah. It's a 355, six-speed transmission, right?

Yeah. It's a synchromesh.

- I love it. Nice.

Yo, shit is yellow, B. Rizzy's the color, nugga.

Yellow's filthy, kid. Come on.

It's Big Bird mode.

- Heh. All right, uh, place your bets.

- Hey. - You are late.

I know. Sorry.

Your father is really upset.

He won't tell me what it is. I just wanted to warn you.

He's upset.

Hey.

- What's up, Seth? - How you doing? How's school?

It's all right.

That's a good question. You wanna tell us what happened?

- We didn't know if you were still coming. - Oh, yeah. The traffic was crazy.

So?

Do you wanna wait till after dinner to talk about it or--?

Yeah, let's eat first.

Answer the question, Seth.

Well, I dropped out.

You wanna tell us why?

Well, I gave it a year, Dad, and it's just not for me.

I see. So that means you've been lying to us for six months.

Six months, Seth.

"School's fine, Dad. My grades are good, Dad."

All right, let's just leave that for a second. Uh, so you dropped out.

That means you haven't been getting your student loan checks, right?

Is that right?

How are you making the rent every month, Seth?

Well, I'm running a business and I'm just earning a living.

Earning a living? Is this what you call earning a living?

Ah! Is that earning a living, huh?

- Marty, are those drugs? - Yes.

- Yes, those are drugs? No, Mom.

This is an honest living.

And you can ask any one of my customers.

Customers? What is that customers?

They're children of people in this community.

How do you think I got these?

Anyway, it's illegal.

You're running a backdoor card game, Seth.

I mean, how do you think this reflects on me? I'm a judge, for chrissake.

Are you listening to me?

I'm gonna be honest with you. I, uh, think you're running a good business.

I think you're a smart kid and pulling in some real cash.

But I gotta tell you, man, this is risky fucking business, you know?

You really honestly plan on dealing cards to college kids...

...when you're fucking 35?

You don't think you're gonna get pinched in the next couple years?

I mean, maybe it's time to start thinking about down-the-line time, you know?

So you want me to come work for you?

What? I guess it will be like, uh, retribution for me taking all your money here?

First of all, I am not done with you here, all right?

And, no, you're only gonna work for me a short time. You pass the Series 7.

You know, you learn the ropes. You're on your own.