Inside I'm Dancing

A prima ballerina is a ballet dancer,

the chief ballet dancer, the most important dancer of all,

who dances all by herself.

The marvellous, mechanical prima ballerina.

Morning. Morning. Anybody for Mass this morning?

Mass? No?

Do you want to go to Mass?

The toilet?

Try this.

First line?

A? B? C? C.

First line? Second... CA?

First line? Second line? First line?

Cab?

First line? Second line?

Look at these, aren't they beautiful?

Cable?

Oh, my God.

Jesus. Annie! Annie!

Bagpuss gave a big yawn and settled down to sleep.

Hello, Rory.

My name is Eileen Sheehy.

I hope you're at home with us here at Carrigmore.

- Do I get a front-door key? - We don't give front-door keys out.

It's not home then, is it?

Hello, everybody.

We have Rory O'Shea, who's come to live with us for a while.

Now, just introduce yourself, Rory.

Rory O'Shea. Duchenne muscular dystrophy.

Besides the full vocal range, I have the use of two fingers,

sufficient for self-propulsion and self-abuse.

Shake my hand or kiss my arse, but don't expect me to reciprocate.

We don't tolerate coarse language here, Rory.

Is it always this much fun, or is today's somebody's birthday?

Was the penthouse not available?

This is the only room. People are queuing to get in.

And dying to get out.

I suppose it's only a temporary arrangement.

Would you like to go to bed now, Michael?

- Well? - Not at all.

- What? - Not a whisper.

- Is Dexter ill today? - Dexter's in school.

I'm afraid he's not, Miss Fishborne.

Dexter's truancy problem is way out of hand.

The Baltimore County School Board have decided to expel Dexter

from the entire public school system.

All right.

Rory, you can't play loud music in the middle of the night.

Have you no respect for the others?

They haven't earned my respect.

That's my music.

That's my fucking music! I need to listen to that!

If you continue this behaviour I'll have to take this.

I'm getting my own home soon anyway.

Until you do, you're here, OK? And there are rules here.

Aggression. Shouting. Singing in the middle of the night? No!

Have you no consideration for other people?

If they can hear me, at least they know they're fucking alive.

If you're alive, shout! Shout if you're alive! Free the Carrigmore fucking One.

Somebody shout! She's stolen my stereo! It's robbery!

Are you going to paint something, Rory?

Give us that.

Finished.

What are you looking at, Mary?

My Swahili's a bit off the boil. Do you speak any English?

Use your card, for Christ's sake!

I'll take that.

It's got the alphabet on it. He spells out words.

- Does it take long? - Half the fucking day.

- Language, Tommy. - Are you worth it?

Are you worth the effort?

Is there a mind in there?

Cerebral palsy. Fucks your brain.

- Don't expect Einstein. - You'd be Stephen Hawking then?

There's nothing wrong with my brain. It's the rest of me that's bollocksed.

Ran my bike into a tree.

Is that your most intelligent act to date?

Fuck off, the pair of you.

You all right?

We've got to take your measurement for the sleep system we were talking about.

I'm going to try to get you as straight as possible.

Just relax.

Just try to relax there. OK?

So left side, 40.

- 44. - 44.

Yeah.

Right side, 39.

49.

You all right, Michael?

- How are yous? - Are you looking for something, Rory?

Nah.

Are you enjoying that?

You're all right. Do you want me to get your card?

I'll get your card.

It's all right, he just wants me to go away.

He says I'm driving him up the wall.

Love to see you try that one, Mary.

- Did you understand what he said? - Yeah.

OK, smart boy, guess who this is.

Strict rules of golf, Goldfinger.

- Emperor Hirohito of Japan. - Emperor...

It's Roger Moore, you dope. Here, I've a good one for you.

Who am I being now?

Er, don't know, Tommy, who are you being now?

Michael Connolly.

How are you, Michael?

Er, yeah, I can understand you.

How?

I spent six years in a class next to a kid

that makes you sound like Laurence fucking Olivier.

What's he say now?

I think he said you were a prick.

Ah, fuck off, the pair of yous.

Look at you.

Will I tell...

Will I tell people what you say with my gift?

- My gift. - Would you like your bath now?

Only if you wash my gift.

My gift.

I'll give you a fucking gift.

Annie, my hair gel's in the bag.

Sorry, Mrs Sheehy says we haven't the time to tease those spikes every day.

Mary. Look what that bitch Delilah's done to me.

What are you laughing at?

Not too much. Are you listening to me?

Start with the back of the head.

You should think about sprucing your image up a bit, Mary.

It's all about looks these days.

Who buys your clothes for you?

Annie?

Jesus. Have you ever looked at what she wears?

Do you not go and shop for yourself?

I suppose you don't get out much, do you?

What's out there?

Out there is out there.

I should be out there.

Don't you want to be like everyone else?

You know, get drunk...

... get arrested, get laid.

Huh?

How long you been living in places like this?

All your life?

What crime did you commit?

Unarmed robbery?

Bit of a comedian, are we, Mary?

Bottle of ketchup. An onion.

Eileen. See you've had your hair done as well.

Fashion's a cruel mistress.

- Very cosy, Son. - It'll do for now.

Hey, come and meet my friend. Dad, this is Hugh Grant.

Pleased to meet you, Hugh. How you doing?

He says he likes your hat.

- It's funny you mention this hat. - Dad.

This is a fine, big room you have here, Hugh.

Fair play to you.

Oh, they're lovely. Did you do them yourself?

Dad, are you coming for a cup of tea?

Right, Son. See you later, Hugh.

Nice fella.

- Did you see them on Wednesday? - Nah.

They don't have cable here.

- I watched it in Mullins. - Did you, yeah?

They're very leaky at the back.

And they've no width. None at all.

This is better than the last place.

They're all the same.

- How's your breathing? - In and out.

- If you wanted to come home... - I'm all right, Dad.

- It'd be no trouble. - I'm all right.

Dad.

Couldn't lend us some money, could you?

I want to buy a suit.

My dad?

Did you have a good look at him?

He can barely look after himself.

What about you? Where are your parents?

Fergus Connolly.

Is that your dad?

Does he come to see you?

And your mother?

She died and he dumped you?

What a bastard.

Does he know he has a secret fan club?

Go on! Help the poor unfortunates. Earn your place in heaven.

You buy a cripple a Harley Davidson you reduce the dependant population.

Hey, how are you, love? How are you?

Give us some money. You've got lovely legs.

Hey, get your eyes off her. I saw her first.

- You filthy mongrel. - Thanks a lot.

I've had more girlfriends than you've had speech therapy sessions.

I'm not exactly built for long-term relationships.

Anyhow, what about you? Have you ever had your end away?

Saving yourself for the big wedding night, are you?

Very romantic, Michael.

Thank you.

Follow me. I'll show you some real romance.

Here, this'll do.

See anyone you fancy?

Over there.

Keep your mouth shut. I'll do the talking.