The Invisible Maniac

All our tests show that

he's an extremely bright child, bordering on genius.

However, as you well know,

he's both mentally and emotionally unstable.

I strongly feel that any outside emotional stimulus

could be what pushes him over the edge.

You have to be gentle, Mrs. Dornwinkle.

I urge you to give him trust and understanding

during this very difficult period.

You have a very confused little boy there.

However, he's a very, very sweet child.

Give him the trust and understanding

he so desperately needs.

- I will, Doctor, and thank you for everything.

What are you doing?

Nothing, Mother.

Oh, nothing, huh?

What are you looking at?

I'm just looking through my telescope.

Oh, you're just looking through your telescope, huh?

Oh, you filthy, stinking pervert!

Oh, Mom, please don't.

- You should be in here studying, not acting like

some sexually depraved vagrant off the street.

How do you expect to become a scientist

if this is how you spend your time?

Women are bad, Kevin.

Women are evil.

Now, I don't want you looking at them,

I don't want you talking to them,

and I don't want you thinking about them.

You should be studying.

But Mom!

Don't "but Mom" me, you little nothing!

You're grounded for a year.

You're not leaving this room

and I'm boarding up your windows!

Mom, please!

Kevin Dornwinkle, you are a failure.

Do you understand me?

Now, I don't want to hear you talking back to me again.

Am I understood?

You make me sick.

Fellow scientists,

welcome to the International Physics Symposium.

As you well know, we have gathered here

at the request of Dr. Kevin Dornwinkle,

who claims his latest scientific finding

will be the greatest single discovery of the century.

Dr. Dornwinkle, I think I speak

on behalf of everyone in this room

when I admit my skepticism over your so-called breakthrough,

but nonetheless, you have our undivided attention.

Thank you, doctors.

As you know, my area of expertise

is the area of molecular reorganization.

Now, as a result of my years of experimentation

with the realignment of atomic particles,

I have not only been able

to recreate a substance within a substance,

I have been able to de -create any substance

via molecular reorganization.

- We've all read your theories of molecular reorganization

in the journals, Dr. Dornwinkle,

but what I can't understand is

what new material are you getting at?

My molecular reorganization...

theories, as you call them,

are about to be proven as reality before your very eyes.

To put it in its simplest terms,

I have devised a way

for a man

or a woman

to become completely invisible.

That's ridiculous. I don't believe that.

- I came all the way from Belgium for such nonsense?

I am so confident about my work,

that instead of injecting my serum into a pig,

I will demonstrate my serum on myself.

Feast your eyes on a miracle of modern medicine.

I can still see you, Dr. Dornwinkle.

Dornwinkle, you are a disgrace

to the scientific community.

- Dornwinkle, you're the stupidest man I've ever seen.

You want to see invisible?

Watch us all leave!

- The only thing invisible about you, Dr. Dornwinkle,

is your brain!

No!

No!

No!

Last month, a quadruple murder

sent shockwaves through the scientific community

when Dr. Kevin Dornwinkle went berserk,

killing in cold blood

four of the world's top scientific minds.

Now, in a turn of events

almost as shocking as the murders themselves,

Dr. Dornwinkle will escape the death penalty

due to a psychiatrist's testimony

that he is mentally incapable of standing trial.

Dr. Dornwinkle will be committed to

the State Institution for the Criminally Insane,

where he will undergo extensive therapy.

And on a lighter note, navy jackets are back.

Go, go! Fetch!

Fetch, fetch, fetch!

Yeah! Yeah!

Yeah!

Well, didn't you all hear the news?

I mean, it was on TV, and my mom told me. Woke me up.

How did he die?

Maybe he ate himself to death, huh?

Yeah.

- Sounds more like something you'd do, Gordon.

Oh, ha-ha.

Very funny, Joan.

- Man, I can't believe Mr. Frankis is dead.

What a heavy trip, man.

- Heavy trip. - Maybe he had a heart attack.

He had high blood pressure, you know?

- How would you know that he had high blood pressure?

How could you not know?

I mean, his face was always as red as a beet.

True.

Hey, maybe since Old Man Frankis kicked the bucket,

we won't have to take physics this summer.

All right, dude!

How can you guys be so heartless?

Mr. Frankis just died

and all you care about is getting out of class.

I'm not heartless. Watch.

- Aw. - Oh, take it home.

Come on. - Get a room, huh?

All right, class.

Settle down and take your seats.

As your principal, it is my sad task to inform you that

Mr. Frankis, our physics teacher, died last week.

- Excuse me, Ms. Cello. How'd he die?

Thank you for your concern, Bubba.

Mr. Frankis unfortunately choked to death on a sandwich.

What kind of sandwich was that?

A barbecue beef sandwich.

However, I want to assure you all that

we will continue your summer school session as scheduled.

Fortunately, we found a new teacher to replace Mr. Frankis.

Oh, joy.

Now, I would like you to meet

your new physics teacher, Dr. Kevin Smith.

Good morning, everybody.

Well, Dr. Smith, I'm going to leave you

to mold these young minds

into the future physicists of tomorrow.

Thank you, Ms. Cello.

Hello, class.

To begin,

I hope that

this class is enjoyable for everyone.

So let's get started.

Physics, as you know, is the poetry of the sciences.

Now, everything is in harmony and has reason as its basis.

Now, what are the four basic principles of physics?

Does anyone know?

What's your name?

Vicky.

Vicky, do you know

what the four basic principles of physics are?

- Dairy, meats, fruits and vegetables, and grain.

No, those are the four food groups.

Commit this to memory, because it is the essence of physics,

and physics is the essence of life.

Is this guy for real?

- The four basic principles of physics are...

matter,

energy,

motion

and force.

Two, four, six, eight!

Who do we appreciate?

Lions! Lions! Yeah, Lions!

Woo!

All right, okay!

Ready!

Okay, we're gonna win, win, win, win, win!

We're gonna fight, fight!

Go kick that ball and kick it right!

Make that touchdown out of sight!

Out of sight. Go, team!

Woo!

Woo!

Man, I sure wish I had a chick.

Getting girls is easy, Bubba.

You just gotta know how to talk to them.

I know what to say to them.

I say, "Hey, baby, you want to take

a psychedelic journey through time with me?"

- Wrong. You don't say that to a '90s chick.

You say, "Hey, baby, you look like

a smart, intelligent, artistic person.

Now, let me shake my face between your hooters and blow."