Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Are you ready for this one?

Dottie's daughter Anne is getting divorced.

Hate to say "I told you so,"

but I told you so.

You know, we should fix her up with Bernice's son.

What's his name? The doctor.

Oh, Vince.

And he's not a doctor. He's a pharmacist.

Although that might appeal to Anne.

Paw-paw-paw.

Greg, you are such a crack-up.

Forget Anne... who should we fix him up with, huh?

Oh, now, Stella, you know I'm still getting over

the tragic loss of my wife.

She was such a strong, female woman

with nice, heavy breasts.

Who's that?

Oh, that's my neighbor. Hey, Larry.

Oh, hey...

Greb.

- Greg. - Ah, that was it.

I'm not sure why I have so much trouble remembering...

probably 'cause our relationship is so casual.

Morning, ladies.

Hi.

Uh, do a lap without me.

I need to talk to Larry about an issue

with our shared fence.

Larry, I need to talk to you about an issue

with our shared fence.

Yes, I also need to discuss

this shared fence issue with you.

Okay, they're out of earshot.

Why are you up so early?

No reason... just excited to face a new day.

Oh, because ever since we've been down here,

you've been a little depressed.

Have I?

No, no, no, don't eat the burrito.

Oh, I'm disgusting.

Okay, fine, I may have had a teensy bit of trouble

adjusting when we first got here

for, like, six teensy, little months,

but I took your advice, and I got a job.

- Doing what? - I sell ATVs now, eh?

Well, the truth is, these little babies sell themselves.

They're super fun,

and they're a lot safer than you might think...

if you're standing next to one.

If you're driving it, it's actually much more dangerous

than you could possibly imagine.

Well, a job is good.

I know being stuck down here in Florida isn't ideal,

but we need to make the best of it.

In fact, I'm applying for a promotion at my new job.

Ah, very "no ice."

And if all goes well, tonight you might be neighbors

with Greg Stickney, Assistant Manager.

Very double "no ice."

Well, I'm off to work.

Might want to stand back.

You're kind of in the blast zone here.

Don't want to forget the strap.

Safety first.

That's what I always... ooh, okay!

Whoa!

You deserve this promotion.

Now go in there and get it.

Give 'em hell, Greg.

Good morning, Carly, Tanny.

Looks like you're keeping the machines running smoothly.

Whatever.

Carly will be the first to go.

Excuse me, sir, there's something

I'd like to talk to you about.

Uh, one second. I'm busy.

Oh, at the buzzer!

Suck it, Chase,

you dirty, little hippy.

Uh, yes, well, um,

as you know, I've been here for four months,

and I think I'm a model employee.

Oh, no doubt. No doubt.

You had the idea to install sinks in the bathrooms.

I love that.

Yes, what I'm getting at is,

I'd like to be assistant manager.

You serious?

Oh, I just never expected you to be interested in management.

I mean, you don't seem like the type of person

who's really interested in leadership roles.

Really?

Anyone who knows me would say

the opposite.

I'm very hard-working.

Yeah, when you're not totally blazed.

I assure you that's not me.

Okay, tell that to the Count Blunt-ula.

T-shirt that you were rocking last week.

It was the only thing in lost and found.

A child and his father threw up on me.

Okay, I'll think about it.

Management!

Full of surprises, Greg.

Hello?

Go to location one now.

Marshal Haas.

Greg.

Larry.

I can't hear you. Can you hear me?

I cannot hear you.

What did you say? We can't hear you.

I can't hear you; I think my engine's too loud.

It's your engine.

Turn off your engine.

I don't know how to turn off the engine.

We should talk in your car.

Let's all talk in my car.

Let's talk in the marshal's car.

I think we should talk in her...

Okay.

Let's go over the normal checklist stuff.

Have you had any contact with anyone from your previous life?

No.

Has anyone questioned your current identity

either in person or online?

No. - Pop quiz.

Greg, where did you go to college?

Ohio State, where I majored in...

communications.

Perfect.

Larry, what's your favorite movie?

- Uh, "Die Hard." - Wrong.

Jake's favorite movie is "Die Hard."

I asked you for Larry's favorite movie.

Two people can have the same favorite movie.

They can, but they don't.

Larry's favorite movie is "Failure to Launch."

Say it.

Say, "My favorite movie is 'Failure to Launch.'"

My favorite movie is "Failure to Launch."

I wish I could believe you.

Moving on, three weeks ago an informant told the FBI

where to find Jimmy "The Butcher" Figgis.

Acting on that lead, 50 federal agents and I

raided a warehouse in Paramus.

It was awesome.

So you got him... it's over. We can go home?

No, sorry.

Figgis wasn't there.

The raid was awesome.

Caught up with a lot of dudes I don't normally get to see.

Do you know what happened to Figgis?

No, but what we do know

is that Figgis was never there.

Our intel was wrong from minute one.

Is there any way we could help with the investigation?

No, absolutely not.

Your involvement would endanger your lives and this case.

I'm sorry, but it looks like Larry and Greg

will be in Florida indefinitely.

Pop quiz, Larry: Who's the female lead

in "Failure to Launch"?

- Kate Hudson? - Sarah Jessica Parker, man!

God, it's like you want to die.

So we're in Florida indefinitely.

You okay?

I squirt-anly am.

Poor choice of words, but the sentiment remains.

What? You were right.

It's the job. It keeps me focused.

Well, good, I'm glad to hear it.

Yep.

Now if you'll excuse me,

I got to drive this Bee-otch back to work.

- What? - Oh, sorry.

This is the Ikura Bee-otch 5,000.

Brand-new model.

Just came in.

I was gonna go for the 10,000,

but that Bee-otch is way too fancy.

See you soon.

Hey, babe.

Okay, Jimmy Figgis.

Where the hell are you?

Oh, Larry.

So I marched in there and I told him

I wanted that assistant manager position.

I wish my son had your backbone.

Then he could finally divorce Emily.

What does he see in her anyway?