The Day I Became a God (神様になった日)

What words could convey it?

It was a world where all things were new.

Each day shone like a brilliant star.

And so, too, do the memories of that age shine.

Treasures worth more than all the world's riches.

Forsooth, we are an omniscient god!

--So who-- -- Stay thy tongue,

for thy query is yet known to me.

"Who standeth before mine eyes?"

That was basically it.

Yet the answer was given ere thou thought to ask!

For I am indeed an all-knowing god!

By the name Odin.

Yea! As Odin shalt thou address me!

--Well, are you-- --I am not a lost child!

By my own will have I come to this place,

and by that same divine will is my being made known to thee.

Hey, the police are--

A god need not seek the aid of civil authorities!

We are not bound by the child welfare laws of mortals.

-- So what do-- --Yea.

Then hear thee now my will!

I find myself intrigued by the sporting rituals of thy kind

and should like to take part.

First in the throwing of the ball through the hoop.

Thy task is to aid me in this.

So then let's tarry no longer!

The spark of curiosity burneth within!

I mean, I guess you can try it.

But after you do, you gotta go home.

Verily. So be it.

All right, let's go.

Huh? Who is this and why is she dressed like an anime nun?

Hold thy tongue and be humble, for I am Odin.

Right, 'cause she's a turbo-nerd.

So do you know this kid?

Oh, no. We only just met.

Then you're lost?

Well, there's a police box not too far from here.

Silence! I'm neither a kid nor lost!

I am a god, ordained to rule thy lowly kind from on high!

What's her deal, man?

She says once she makes a basket, she'll go home.

Couldn't hurt anything, could it?

Okay, whatever, go on.

Uh--

You good? 'Cause that looked like it hurt.

But I'm still expecting you to get it first try

with your god powers!

So shall it be.

Now look on and be ye humbled.

I ask you. Um...

When the ball traverses the hoop, is some blessing granted?

You were the one who asked to take the shot!

I had assumed you wouldn't dispose of your time

in ways so fruitless.

Let's go.

We need to get this kid to the police now.

Just wait!

We play basketball to work off all the stress

from studying for entrance exams.

"Entrance exams"?

Yeah. For college, ya know?

'Tis no use.

Your efforts, however valiant, shall amount to naught.

And why's that?

For in 30 days, your world shall come to an end.

Okay, this "manic pixie doom girl" thing's getting old.

Go and bother someone else with it.

Then I shall be off.

Great, "be off."

Or that is what we would say.

Dost thou believe gods live in houses?

How the hell would I know?

Wait! If she's actually in trouble,

then we need to help her out, don't we?

You have fun with that. I'm done with this crap.

Don't forget to tell your girlfriend "hi" for me

on your big date.

It's not a date!

Peace!

So then.

Okay. How do we get you home to Hades?

A web of caves near Suwa opens unto the far shore.

Why would we go there, you fool?

Don't mistake me for a god of death!

I am Odin!

Right. Odin.

Last name is?

Sato.

Miss Sato.

Good to meet ya.

Now let's go.

My name is Odin!

Of course. Odin.

As my name was asked and given,

so shalt thou give thine

and expect not therefore to be blessed.

Uh, that's fair.

My name's Yota. Yota Narukami.

"Narukami"? How is it written?

Well, like this.

Why does your stupid name literally mean

the "God of the friggin' Sun"?

And why do I have the name of a background character?

Please calm down, Miss Sato!

I won't calm down!

I'm trying to prove my godhood, but your parents are all,

"Buh let's name him Sun God," so I gotta call you "Sun God"

and you're still calling me "Sato"! I'm Odin, dammit!

Sorry about that.

And Odin was the god of what again?

Heheh. Odin, god of gods, to whom all others answer.

Conjurer of magic.

Bearer of an unquenchable thirst

for the world's knowledge.

A raven at each hand and a wolf at each foot

who yet hold vigil over the throne.

Mm. And where's that?

Asgard, of course.

So do you know how to get there by train?

Well, you start off on the Chuo Line

--towards Matsumoto, right? --Okay.

I'm handing the gag off to you

and you're just letting it die, you big schmuck?!

You can't take a train to the realm of the gods!

Are you getting this?

Why would they want a bunch of random humans showing up?

They don't need you there buying overpriced models

of Yggdrasil or Valkyrie hug pillows!

Stay out of Asgard!

I guess that's fair, but I can't take you home

if I don't know where that is.

And to my home no mortal may go.

That could be a problem.

I need to get to the library pretty quick here.

And to what end?

I'm meeting someone. A childhood friend of mine.

A young woman, perchance?

Wait, it's not like that! She's a friend and a girl,

but, like, Izanami's not my girlfriend!

Izanami?!

How are you that loud?

And how could I not be?

Is your childhood friend actually named Izanami?

Now that you mention it, it is kind of odd.

Ugh, who cares if it's odd?

She's named for a god.

Wife of the god Izanagi.

We shall meet.

--That's a no. --But wherefore?

What would I say about your clothes?

She's gonna ask.

And this is a concern somehow?

Mm...

I can't keep waiting,

but I can't just leave her here either.

Just please promise me you'll behave.

Let there be no doubt.

Who is this girl?

And why is she dressed like that?

Hm?

Indeed, what a convenient location for a store.

Do you want something?

An umbrella!

An umbrella? What, for the sun?

For the rain, thou dotard!

So like, are you not embarrassed?

Absurd.

Should I let my holy vestments be battered by rain?

Whoa. It really is raining!

Just as I foretold.

Perfect, there's a bus. Can you make it?

Onto the bus?

No need. Our feet shall be faster.

Uh. 'Scuze me, but I'm pretty sure that's not true.

And the bus just left.

Then onward we shall go.

There'll be more such pitfalls to come.

Okay...

I wouldn't have expected this much traffic.

Behold. We have indeed caught the bus.

Yeah, sure enough.

And now we've passed it.

Yea, as foretold. Our feet were faster.

Now just to reiterate.

The friend we're meeting, who is a girl, is not my girlfriend.

Such hath indeed been made abundantly clear.

Good afternoon, Izanami.

Good afternoon, Narukami.

This exchange brings the rage in my heart to boiling.

Goodness. Who is this lovely young lady?

--Sato. --A god!

Oh my.

I'm jealous that you're acquainted

with a god, Narukami. Wonderful.

Dost thou mock me?

I see no reason why I would.

That's amazing.

She just hit you straight on with the god nonsense