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How are we gonna memorize all this?

Let's just go over it again.

Kingdom, phylum, class...

Order, family, genus, species.

I use a mnemonic device.

'Kevin, please come over for gay sex.'

Why wouldn't you use 'Karen'?

'Cause it's gay sex, dummy.

So use 'great'.

Now I can't remember anything. Thanks!

God, why do we always wind up in this position?

For all the time you spend here, you'd think we wouldn't

have to cram so much.

Maybe we never get any work done because we have

so much fun hanging out together.

Definitely, maybe that's why.

Ah, the duali-Dean of man.

I'm dressed this way because I have good news and bad news.

You have got to be kidding me.

The bad news is Professor Kane has the flu.

The good news is biology class is canceled...

After you.

What a gentleman.

Guys, we don't have to cram last minute anymore.

Last minute got moved to tomorrow.

Three-hour lunch? Three-hour lunch? Three-hour lunch?

Three hours?

I could watch the first half of three movies.

Ooh, I don't have to go to the fast food

restaurant across the street.

I can go to the fancy one across town.

Their manager wears a tie.

If we don't eat, we can make-believe

an whole episode's worth of Inspector Spacetime

in the Dreamatorium. - Word.

Yeah.

Maybe we should go to Señor Kevin's.

Britta, didn't you want to try that new cage-free bean burrito?

The tortillas are made with micro-financed flour.

Troy, you could drive.

You always like that spiral parking ramp.

You just keep turning left, but you end up up!

I can't go to Señor Kevin's. The manager and I are enemies.

He said Die Hard was bad.

He said Die Hard was bad. - I know, buddy.

Well, how about this.

This lunch is already a runaway train, no point in stopping it.

Troy, Britta, you go to Señor Kevin's.

Abed promised he'd show me how the Dreamatorium works.

Today's the perfect day for it. - But I want to...

Abed, don't you think today's

the perfect day for it? - No.

Abed. - Is this a social cue?

I left my Puttin' On the Ritz cane in here earlier.

I know it probably has another name,

but, um, can I be perfectly honest with you guys?

I think I went too far with this one.

I have to go to the bank today.

What am I supposed to tell people in line?

'I had good news and bad news'?

Come on, Craig.

Get you life together.

♪ Give me some more, time in a dream ♪

♪ give me the hope to run out of steam ♪

♪ somebody said we could be here ♪

♪ we could be roped up, tied up, dead in a year ♪

♪ I can't count the reasons I should stay ♪

♪ one by one they all just fade away ♪

I am Inspector Spacetime.

And I know that which is unknown.

Duty-bound to protect a universe of innocent unremarkables,

I patrol it in the x7 Dimensionizer

with my loyal constable, Reggie.

This week, however, Reggie has been forced to go to lunch.

So I'm aboard the much crappier H.M.S. Spacetime 12,

from the worst season ever, with temporary constable, Geneva.

Geneva, I need the quantum spanner, the big one.

Oi, gov'ner, quantum spammer, up an' at 'em, in'it?

If we can't get out of orbital lock,

the Blorgons may intercept.

Tut tut, m'lord.

Wouldn't give a tuppence for that sticky wicket.

Okay, stop simulation.

More British?

I can't do this anymore.

But the Blo-gons might intercept...

It's Blorgons with an 'r'.

Blo-gon means 'thank you' in blorgon.

Can't we play something I know about

like hospital administration?

You're mad at me for playing matchmaker with Troy and Britta.

You think you're gonna lose Troy.

I'm not petty, Annie.

I'm mad at you because you tampered

with the fabric of the group.

How do you know Troy and Britta pairing up

wouldn't destroy everything?

I run the scenarios.

I examine this stuff from every conceivable angle.

Oh, and you can do that but I can't?

You don't have a patent on being a control freak, Abed.

I kind of do.

You think this is just a room where Troy and I play dinosaurs

versus river boat gamblers together?

Sure, it's how I got the construction approved,

but, much like myself,

the Dreamatorium has higher functions.

Would you like me to show you how your stunt

with Troy and Britta will play itself out?

Why not?

Execute simulation Troy/Britta.

Render environment Señor Kevin's.

Oh, those appetizers

were dope and legit!

I don't usually support lunch

because it's unfair to breakfast.

I never thought about

meals fighting each other.

I guess that explains why you never

see any two of them on the same table.

So I guess Annie's pretty hot to get us together.

She probably just doesn't understand people.

Well, the sooner the food comes,

the sooner this will be over.

I'm afraid your food won't be ready for another half hour.

I'm too busy misunderstanding the whole point of Die Hard.

I can't wait to get home to Abed.

So you can dart back and forth

doing impressions of your friends.

There's no science at work here.

You're right.

The science is at work in here.

This is the Dreamatorium's engine.

My thoughts are collected by this box

and everything I know about my friends is stored here.

Both are distilled by logic and then

recombined into objective observation.

I'm able to simulate any of the study group

and even a half-accurate Chang in over 7,000 unique situations.

Abed, it's cardboard tubes and a funnel.

Well you see it that way because it's calibrated

to a specific level of brain function.

Right. I'm stupid.

Not stupid, just less able to see what I see.

Gee, you've got it all figured out.

King of toilet paper rolls over here.

Hey, Troy, I'm glad you called.

Your lunch is going well, right?

Yeah, just checking on Abed.

Making sure he's okay.

What? He's fine.

He just implied I operate on a lower level

of brain function, so business as usual.

Great, um, just, you know, make sure he stays comfortable.

I worry about him when I'm not around.

Well, he's fine, he always will be.

People bend over backwards to cater to him.

He's just extra sensitive in the Dreamatorium.

It takes a lot out of him to run that thing.

I don't want you to break his brain.

Bye, Troy.

How is he? - He'll be okay.

It's so sweet how much you care about him.

And another thing I hate about Die Hard,

two FBI agents named Johnson.

I've been thinking about our Inspector Spacetime scenario.

It might work better if instead of playing Geneva,

you played Rosamund.

She was a constable in season five

and she only had three lines.

I have a better idea.

You know what would make your scenarios a lot more realistic?

If Troy weren't on a date.

Why don't you take all your thoughts

and your logic and add one step to the process.

What are you doing? - From now on,

before you do or say anything,

you're gonna think about how it affects the people around you.

We lower functioning brains call this 'empathy'.

Abed?

Abed?

Oh, my God, I broke Abed.

Abed?

You know how you wanted me to tell you

when you were being scary weird instead of cute weird?

This is scary weird.

Hello, Annie.

What was I doing on the floor?

Were we... doing it?

Are you being Jeff?

Well, I'm not being a Kardashian.

So where are we now?

We're in the doctor's lounge of Greendale Hospital School.

Hospital school?

It's a sexy emotional school

where doctors save lives and make love,

often simultaneously.

Our stories, ripped from the headlines.

Our passions, unbridled.

Our cafeteria, eh...