Sparkler

Well, here's our big stud.

- Hey, Maxine, how'd you make out?

Drank some, lost the rest.

Oh, just like last week.

Just like every week.

- Well, you look like a winner to me.

- You look like a winner to me too.

- You know, for an old gal, you got a lot of spunk,

but frankly, I prefer a little more meat on my bones.

Lucky you got what you got.

My ass is as good as any in a garden.

Hey.

Smells like a brewery in here.

- "Smells like a brewery in here," you ought know.

Mine, mine, mine. - Here.

- Honey, you already helped me clear up, say no.

I already told her I'd stay.

- You go home and count your winnings, Mom.

- Sounds like you made out like a bandit.

Well, yes, I did.

Muah!

Real money, I'd be living like the Queen of Sheba.

I'm gonna go shower, you girls clean up,

I know my Melba hates dirt.

- Muah! - You do that.

Well, that is so sweet.

Sweet Hurricane.

Do you ever wonder what it would be like to be really rich?

- Oh, I don't much see the point.

- Well, I think about it every time

I fill out one of my sweepstakes.

- Oh, you must think about it an awful lot,

but I don't see you getting any richer.

- I know, I know, but God, couldn't you just imagine?

Oh boy, I'd buy a new house.

- What's wrong with your trailer?

It's the nicest one in the park.

Yeah, I guess you're right.

- You're drooling all over, girl.

He slobbered on me.

I tell you what, I would hire a maid

or somebody to do the dishes. - I tell you what, no, wait.

Tonight, I'll be your maid.

- Excuse me, but you seem to be out of soap, madam.

What, that's empty?

Well, it's new, expensive kind,

they don't give you a whole lot more.

- That's okay, I'll just use some of this bar.

- Oh no, that'll dry out your hands.

Oh, Melba, what do you care?

I'm just the maid, I mean, I'm the maid.

- No, I mean it, I'll go down to the Minimart

and get some of that with the moisturizer in.

- Hello. - Hello, Bob.

How's everything going tonight? Oh, oh, look at that.

Lighters, I'm gonna get one for Mom.

Oh, great, the swamp cooler's acting up again.

Hurry,

before Melba gets home. - Oh, yeah, oh, yeah.

You like it fast, don't you, Little Engine?

- Yes. - Oh, yeah.

- Yes. - Oh, God!

Yes, yes, yes.

Here it comes.

Here it comes, yeah!

Fuck!

Oh, shit.

Hey, damn it, slow down out there!

- Mm-hm, well, your aura does seem a little blue.

Let's see what we can do.

Oh Lord, three kings.

Now you listen hard, honey, 'cause here's my psyche gist.

I see you surrounded by three kings.

Kings?

Kings.

- So what, like, like King Arthur kind of kings?

Well, kings come in all shapes and sizes, honey,

some are kings inside.

There's only one kinda woman that's fit for a king, girl.

- Shit, I ain't won a hand all night.

- Not business, Rockefeller, it's yours.

- That'd be mine. - Oh, God, fucking dammit!

Give me a real chair, will you?

- Well, that's it, Stew, you broke two already.

- I did not break them, they were already broken.

You did, you fat fuck.

I haven't heard from Melba.

I guess that means she don't need me.

Right now, I sure as hell don't need her either.

Don't you miss her?

What is this, the goddamn "Geraldo Show?"

Would you deal the cards?

- Play some poker, poker! - No kidding.

Come on, give me a winner.

Whoo!

Yeah!

Yeah!

- Trent! - Yes!

Trent!

- Yes! - Trent, get back inside!

Yeah!

You're acting like a fag!

Dude, you gotta try that, man.

You can feel the vibes of all the people,

who cruise the I-15 to Vegas.

Well, Tom Jones passed through me, I feel sexy.

You are such a fag.

- Why do you keep calling me that, man?

- Listen to you, "Tom Jones passed through me.

Ooh, I feel sexy." You're a fag!

Oh, yeah, you wanna see a fag?

Get in car!

Yo, dude, seriously though,

I can feel some serious vibes out there

and I'm gonna make some good money tonight.

- Oh, flip it, flip it, flip it, flip it.

- I'm not gonna listen to this depressing shit anymore.

- Wayne Newton is with me. - All right, shake it off,

she's just a girl.

Yes.

Yeah, but she kept the fucking ring, man.

- You never told us why you broke up with her.

Oh, it doesn't matter.

She told me she called it off.

When did she tell you that?

- I don't know, I mean, one night she was drunk.

We were talking. - When were you drunk

with my girlfriend? - Dude, you know what?

She'll probably give the ring back, it's no big deal.

Anyway, let's see what's on this.

- There's nothing but static on this.

Jesus Christ.

For God is- - Next!

The good Lord.

- Enough of this shit. - We in Hickville or what?

Where's my tape case?

Shit!

Where's the tire?

It's gone.

What?

Don't bother.

Why not?

I took it out.

- You took what out? - The tire.

What?

- I needed to make room for the luggage.

Oh, that's just great!

- Don't worry, we'll just, we'll buy another one.

I'm gonna call the Auto Club.

Shit.

It's no big deal.

I got a plan.

I'm on the side of the road.

- Listen, I'm really sorry about you and Sarah, man.

Oh, don't worry about it.

- You guys seemed so perfect together.

Yeah, I'm still here.

- Some things are just not meant to be.

- Yeah, but if you really love each other.

Trent.

I'm on the side of the road!

Forget about it.

Where are you going?

I need a refill.

Should I stay with Brad?

Don't worry about Brad,

he's got his his cell phone to keep him company.

And you'll wear these.

Oh, Mom, these are too fancy.

Uh-uh, no daughter of mine's

gonna have a night on the town and not do it right.

Oh, there we are.

Now let me see if I can find something to do them justice.

Oh, my Lord, I forgot I had that.

What is it?

Okay, don't look, don't look.

- Mom, you don't expect me to wear that?

I mean, that is so old.

- Oh, styles are always coming back.

Didn't you see the Murphin's window last week?

Look at these.

Nothing I can't fix with a needle and thread.

- The things you try and talk me into.