Memoirs of an Invisible Man

Okay, here goes.

Okay, we're on.

You're looking at a chair because I'm sitting in it.

My name is Nick Halloway. I'm not sick,

and I'm not crazy but I am invisible.

How can I make you believe this?

Okay, try this.

See? No strings.

Wait a minute. This ought to do it for you.

- -

I'm making this tape because in hours, I could be dead.

This is my last chance.

I've got a hell of a story to tell.

Well, let's get right to it.

It all started on a Tuesday in March.

Thirty-six inches packed powder?

Great, can you get me into the Aspen Lodge through Sunday?

Just a single with a king-size bed.

You never know.

Great. Thanks, Cheryl. I'll get back to you.

Boykin called to ask if you'd seen the announcement

of the proposed Allied-Security oil merger on the broad tape.

Kaplan called again from New York about Magnascopics.

You've got the OPEC thing. Staff meeting's Thursday.

And you haven't begun that oil-shale analysis for Roger.

Shall I keep going?

-What oil-shale analysis? -You are here.

Roger. Come on in. Been trying to get you all afternoon.

Now I've spent most of the day on this.

I strongly recommend the company examine oil-shale positions.

Great. Well, everything else okay, huh?

Still going out with Denise Lee?

Went out with her six months ago. Where you been, Roger?

You are without a doubt

the biggest bullshit artist I've ever worked for.

Thank you, Cathy.

In fact, take the rest of the day off.

-I'm going to my club. -What?

Magnascopics tomorrow,

there will be a car outside your apartment at 7:30 pm.

You promised Kaplan you'd cover for him.

This is sick! How am I supposed to get through all this? You go.

-You gave him your word! -I was drunk.

It was 1:15 in the morning. Get Moynihan to cover.

-You're committed. -

What about my commitments?

My family, my relatives?

You don't have any.

The day was panning out

like any other day in my life.

But what was about to happen was gonna change it forever.

The Academy Club is one of the last

private men's clubs in San Francisco.

The sort of place railroad tycoons

and robber barons would hang out at night,

eat roast beef, hire the occasional whore

and discuss how much they stole that day.

I use the tennis courts. I like the bar.

No, bad shoulder, no depth.

Put me down for a dime on St. John's/Villanova.

I'll take the points.

And I want the over on Duke/Carolina.

All right. Thanks, Buzz.

Somebody's trying to get your attention, Mr. Halloway.

I think it's Mr. Talbot.

Don't look, Patrick. Just pretend you don't see.

-Thanks, Patrick. -Hi, Nick.

Hi, George. How's the spastic colon?

What you doing?

Oh, writing my resignation.

I'm gonna start a foster home for poor kids.

Girls, mostly. Late teens, early 30s. I need a family.

Yeah. Come join us. I'm here with some of the gang.

-No, I can't tonight. - Come on.

-Come on, one drink, all right? -All right.

It's just Ellen and some pals of hers.

And Alice Monroe, my sister Amy's friend,

from Cornell, just got back from Brazil.

I've got an early morning, I can't--

Before you bail, will you just have a look.

Well, maybe for a minute.

You know everybody, don't you, Nick?

-Hi, Ellen. - Hi, Nick.

Oh, Alice Monroe, I'd like you to meet Nick Halloway.

-Nick, this is Alice. - Hi, Nick.

Nice to meet you.

Where have you been hiding yourself?

Where have you been? I see you got a haircut.

-Oh yeah. You like this? -Looks good.

Alice produces documentaries for the Smithsonian.

Oh, really? I love the Smithsonian.

It's one of my favorite institutions.

So, what kind of documentaries do you produce?

Anthropological stuff,

traditional cultures, cosmologies.

Cosmologies, love them.

It's one of my favorite ologies.

Patrick.

You went to law school, and you were practicing in Boston.

What happened?

Well, my parents really wanted me to be a lawyer.

It just wasn't for me.

It's gonna be Indiana/UNLV. Maybe Arkansas.

Carolina.

The leap into film, what did you do? Raise money?

-Your firm represented someone? -No, I quit the firm.

And I got a job as a production assistant

for a public television station.

-Next thing, I'm in the jungle. - Mmm.

I think it's gonna be UNLV.

Primitive, huh?

There's really only a few places in the Amazon

that could still be considered virgin.

So, what did you miss most when you were down there?

Hot showers, cheeseburgers.

I think Seton Hall will go all the way.

-I hate TV. -Me too.

-]I like music. -I love jazz.

I hate weight lifters.

Narcissists.

Love skiing.

Love the ocean and the woods.

I love blond hair.

I love garlic.

Nick.

-What are we doing? -I hope it's foreplay.

We should get back.

Yeah. Yeah. We should get back.

Let's not do anything cheap and meaningless.

Okay, what do I owe you?

-You couldn't afford it. -Oh.

-Ciao. -Nice to have you back.

-Thanks, George. -See you soon.

Making an early night, Nick?

I thought we were all having dinner.

I promised I'd meet somebody.

Oh, really? Maybe I'd better drop you.

Dinner's not such a great idea with all this work I gotta do.

You like Italian? We could go to Fiorello's.

It's dark, it's quiet, it's got great pasta.

I'd love to, but I really do have to meet somebody.

You're kidding. I thought you were putting them on.

No.

Want to meet for lunch Friday at the Brasserie?

Lunch? Let's go to Maui.

Nick, we have plenty of time.

You're right.

-Am I gonna regret meeting you? -You already do.

In a way, it was all Alice's fault.

Maybe if I hadn't met her that night,

and she hadn't been so incredibly beautiful

I wouldn't have gone back to the bar and drunk myself silly.

The next morning, I was never so hung-over in all my life.

It is my pleasure to present the chairman

of our scientific advisory board

and the Sidney Leavitt professor

of theoretical physics at Berkeley

Dr. Bernard Wachs.

Welcome.

Accustomed as we are today

to think of magnetism as the vector of spins

and orbits of subatomic particles,

it is often with astonishment

that we discover how different men

viewed the set of phenomena that we group together

under the term "magnetism."

The Greek philosopher Thales,

as early as the sixth century B.C.

observed the extraordinary ability

of lodestones to attract other pieces...

- -...returned to original value.

A vector quantity that specifies direction and magnitude

of the force every point in our magnetic field

may temporarily convert the external...

Fifteen minutes in and we're not up to the birth of Christ?

Call me when he gets to the Inquisition.

Excuse me.

Uh, excuse me. Is there a men's room around here?

Yes. Just down the hall there.

-Oh, shoot! -Thank you.

- Whoa! -

Hello?

- -Stay back.

[classical music continues playing]

Ten minutes.

Ten minutes, I'll be as good as new.

Von Erxleben's design breakthrough

-allowed an enhanced... -

What?

Get out! Get out! Run for it!

Go! Move!

And is it not true, Mr. Jenkins,

that you were in Tegucigalpa, Honduras

the very same day that Dr. Mendoza

fell to his death

from the 21st floor of the Hotel Presidente?

Mr. Chairman, I was in Honduras as a consultant

to the Pan-American Democratic Relief Organization.

You're not paid by the CIA?