House Husbands

Whatever she says...

..we present a united front.

You're only saying that because you're the one that's in trouble.

We're all in trouble or we wouldn't be here.

Shh!

You guys are next.

Hey, you. You're not going to believe this.

Uh, you've got to work back late?

Double shift. I'm sorry. Poppy's got her first day and...

Don't worry. I'm across it. Thanks. I love you.

Love you too.

No, sweetie. I was talking to Jimmy.

He's just given me caffeine. But I love you too.

Jimmy? You know, the new registrar.

He's gorgeous. You'd love him. I thought he was James.

Abi, bed two. We need you. Got to go.

OK.

Sorry, dude.

I wasn't flirting with him.

I wasn't flirting with him. I've never seen him before in my life.

Hey, mate. No.

Here we go.

Get off me.

I'm trying to have a conversation with you.

Oi!

Just leave her alone.

Ow! Take your hands off her.

You right?

Piss off. Hey, just go home, mate.

Are you right, honey? Ooh!

Holy shit. Babe. Babe. No, I know him.

Do you know who that was?

What's wrong with you people?

It's your first night, isn't it?

You know bouncers aren't supposed to interfere with domestics.

You're not going to say anything, are you...

..to the boss?

I need this job.

The boss was already freaking out that people might recognise me.

What? Are you famous or something?

Nuh. I'm Justin.

Lucy.

Lewis.

Ceiling cracks all gone.

You're doing that now? Yeah.

While she makes her own sandwich. And one for me.

It's her first day of school.

Can you just, you know...

What? Focus.

I am. How good's the ceiling look?

Right. Give me a kiss.

Have the best day, alright. I want to hear all about it.

OK. I love you.

Bye, darl. Mmm.

How are we going?

Morning tea, lunch, crunch and sipper drink bottle.

Got the car keys?

If I gave them to you, do you reckon you could run yourself to school?

Now, we've got your lunchbox and a water bottle,

another water bottle in case you lose it.

If it's cold, I've packed a nice warm jumper for you

and a little cardigan if it's in between.

Don't forget, my number's in there in case there's an emergency.

And how about a life vest in case there's a tsunami?

I know the first day of school's scary but you've got to relax.

Big night, mate? Kids ready?

Yeah. Listen, it's the first day of school. Nicky thinks...

Hey. Can't she talk? No. She'd prefer to go through me.

She wants to take them.

What are you doing? You're the one who chose this, mate.

I've seen that many custody battles. They cost a fortune.

And the result's always the same -

the kids end up where they should be, with their mother.

Daddy!

Hey, boys!

Ready for the first day?

You don't look good, mate.

You're going to look a lot worse in a court of law.

Uh, you got, uh...

..Weet-Bix on your shirt.

Come on, boys. Say bye to Mum.

Bye, Mum. Bye, Mum.

Bye, Mum.

Mate, that's a... That's a drop-off zone.

Yeah. So? We are dropping off.

You're supposed to stay with your car.

That suit a bit tight, mate?

Haven't worn it for five years.

How could you go back to marketing?

It's not even a real job.

Marketing is the backbone of every company.

Don't you just make phone calls?

I'll take one for the fridge and two for the freezer.

Done. Three pies, Stell.

Thank you. How was your holidays? Oh, great.

Hey, Stella. Excited about the new year?

We're repeating Prep actually. Oh, really?

Yeah. We're fine with that.

We had so much fun last year, can't wait to do it again, can we?

Allanah's been picked for the gifted and talented program.

Wow! Well done, Allanah.

Stella, say congratulations.

Oh, dear.

Oh, no. Here we go. Do I have to talk to him?

Do I need to remind you he's my brother-in-law?

If you haven't noticed, we're outnumbered.

I think it's important to stick together.

Why? I might get to meet some yummy mummies.

Kaney, mate. How are you?

Lewis.

Hey, Mark. Hey.

(OVER P.A.) Preps, you'll be next.

Say goodbye to mum... or dad.

Oh, she's friendly.

Assistant principal, otherwise known as the Terminator.

Principal's more relaxed.

Remember our three core expectations -

respect, responsibility, personal best.

That includes you.

Did she look at us? Oh, yeah.

Over here, Zac.

Is that...?

Yep.

That's Justin Blainey.

Tilly. No, don't. Don't.

Blainey, mate.

Lewis. Lewis Crapp. Hey.

These your boys? Yeah.

Starting school today? Yeah.

So's my Tilly.

Hey, Tilly, say hello to, um...?

Zac and Jacob.

Uh, Mark. That's Mark, yeah.

How are you?

Can I have a go on your scooter?

Stella, you've got to line up at... Pop. No, Pop.

Two minutes.

I've got five Year-3 mums over there who want to make an order.

Show me.

So, uh... how old's bub?

Um...

Eight months?

Yeah.

I'll go and get them when they call for Preps.

It's good to have a run round, you know.

They've got to sit still all day.

Mate, I hope you don't mind me saying, you are a legend.

I don't know why they sacked you.

You carried that team. You won that grand final off your own boot.

When you took that mark, that screamer right on the siren

and then you sunk that 50...

There are children driving that bus!

Hold this.

(OVER P.A.) Children on the other side of the playground, please.

Parents, take your children away from the road.

Can you look after her? Thank you.

Hold on.

Ooh.

You OK?

Is everyone alright?

Great.

The kids are all OK, thank God.

They're just checking them out to make sure.

Miss Moon broke her arm trying to dodge the bus.

Was that the principal? Yeah.

So, you know, we've made a good impression there.

Spoken to Abi yet? Not yet.

Gemma?

Ready?

Dead men walking.

There goes our fishing weekend.

I can't even judge here. It was my fault.

I was supposed to take her on her first day. Then I had to work.

Yeah. Don't be too hard on yourself. How the hell did it happen?

See, that feels a little judgey.

She'd only been at school for five minutes. The bell hadn't even rung.

I know.

Lewis was talking to this football player...

Oh, you're blaming Lewis now? What are you, five?

I know I should have been looking. But two minutes I looked away for.

Sorry to interrupt. Ab, those X-rays are back.

Oh, thanks. James, this is Mark.

Oh, nice to meet you. Husband.

Sorry?

Me. I'm... It doesn't matter.

You've had a big morning. Kids, you can't take your eyes off them.

Hey, I looked away for two minutes.

I'll... leave you to it.

Look. The important thing is that she's alright.

It's scary, really scary. I know. I know.

Maybe it's a sign.

I shouldn't work. I know what people say about mums like me.

Come on. That's stupid. You're good at what you do. You've got to work.

I can juggle. I'm now part-time.

It's your first day.

Yeah. I'm a little bit on the late side.

Oops!

Come here. Scary.

I know. Mmm.

What did you say to Poppy?