Light of My Life

Would you like me to tell you a story?

Hmm?

What, a Bobo and Jojo story?

Uh, no, I was not planning on telling you a story

about the enduring characters of Bobo and Jojo,

but you could mention their names

with a little bit of respect.

I mean, you might be too old for them now,

but there was a time when you were insatiable

for a good Bobo and Jojo story.

Well, I am sated.

Well, that's fine, because it's not about them.

This is... is a new story.

A new story about a young girl...

Don't make it about me.

I am not making it about you.

It's about a young girl...

fox named "Jamie."

- Dad. - What?

That's the girl from the mountain book, I told you.

Okay, this is about a... this is a... this is the story

about a young girl fox named...

Goldy.

And she had a husband, because she was a grown-up fox

and her husband's name was, uh...

was Art,

and they were grown-ups, so they lived together in a little hole.

And... Their foxhole.

And Art was kind of a tinkerer, a scientist, an inventor,

a futzer and fiddler,

and he liked everything to be very clean and neat in the hole.

He was very fastidious about this and that little thing.

And, uh, he liked quiet time in the hole.

And so... And Goldy was very...

you know, very tough and outdoorsy.

So it was very, very different...

Dad, I said don't make it about me.

I'm not making it about you. It's about a fox named Goldy.

Well, I'm tough and outdoorsy. You say that all the time.

Okay. So what?

So this is about a fox, named Goldy, in a foxhole.

That's not you.

So, one day, Art took one of his inventions.

It was a weather-predicting machine,

and he took it up to... on top of a mountain.

And he was up there, and he was kind of messing around with it.

He was trying to predict the weather.

And he saw these big storm clouds on the horizon,

and the meters on his... on his little machine were going crazy.

Uh, he wasn't sure if they were accurate or not

and he started looking at the clouds on the horizon,

and... and he sees this human being on the other mountain peak.

He was in a robe and sandals, and this long beard,

and he's shouting up at the sky, he's shouting up all... talking,

and he just looks bananas.

And Art was a very smart fox.

He always knew when to listen to his inside voice

if something didn't seem right, just like we talk about.

Yes, yes.

Um, and he took... wrapped up his machine

and he went down the mountain right away to get away from this guy.

And he went back to his hole and he wanted to tell Goldy

about his findings, because if they were accurate,

it meant there was a gigantic storm coming.

And... and Art, more than anybody, hated to...

he hated to get wet and dirty, and he hated when this...

the... their foxhole flooded.

Though Goldy didn't really care that much.

Art hated it, that's why he invented

the weather-predicting machine in the first place.

But Goldy wasn't there.

So he went around looking all over for her,

and he couldn't find her anywhere.

But he did notice that all these crowds are all moving in the same direction,

all these different animals.

And so he went to see what was going on. And he kinda got swept up, and he...

he followed them all down to the bay.

And there in the water, huge wooden raft,

really, really big.

And, uh, he thought...

"Oh, that thing is not really built that well."

And just as he was thinking that,

he was sort of swept up in the next crowd of people,

and he got jostled around, and bumped up, boom,

right up against Goldy.

There she was and he said, um, "Where have you been?"

She said, "I've been in line for four hours!"

And he said... She hated lines. And he said, "In line for what?"

She said, "In a line for the competition."

And he said, "What competition?"

And she said, "The best male and female of each species, of each kind of animal..."

I know what a species is.

"...gets to go on an adventure on that big giant boat,

Noah's ark."

This isn't how Noah's ark goes.

Well, this is my story.

Called "Noah's ark"?

Well, it's not about Noah's ark, but Noah's ark happens to be in my story.

But this is called "Art's ark."

So he doesn't wanna be left behind,

not because he loves adventures, but he loves Goldy very much

and he knows that just spending time with her

is the way to keep their marriage going.

So he enters the competition, but he's no good.

Instantly, he gets beaten.

Um, because the things that they are having the male foxes do

are all about who's got the biggest muscles,

who's got the shiniest hair or fur, that kind of stuff,

who's got the sharpest fangs,

and that's not really Art's thing.

So he loses.

And Goldy is marched off with another male fox,

and all the other animals, two by two,

onto Noah's ark.

What's his name?

His name was Fang.

And he's sharpened one of his little,

little teeth to make it look like a snarling sharp fang.

So a bunch of humans march all the animals on.

And... including Fang and Goldy, and they're all on the boat,

and then a man walks out, a human,

the same one that had been on the top of the mountain,

and he says...

"G'day, folks, I'm Noah.

How are you?" "How are you? Good day.

G'day, folks. How are you?"

And people were just staring, all the animals were staring at him.

He keeps saying, "How are you? Good day, g'day.

Hey, good on you."

He says, "Hey, you are the chosen ones, all right?"

"Take you out to the chosen ones' farm.

Goin' to the farm where all the chosen ones are. G'day. How are you?"

"How are you? G'day."

He gets on.

And then he goes down below,

and the boat starts to drift off from the shore.

And Art's standing there, miserable,

watching Goldy leave, and Goldy blows him a kiss,

"I'll be back in a week!

I'll see you in a week, I love you!"

Boom!

Clap of thunder, flash of lightning,

the sky opens up, and just rain comes out of nowhere,

drenching him, he's soaked.

He hates being wet.

He mopes back to his foxhole, lays down miserable,

he falls asleep, and he has this dream,

and in the dream, Goldy's on the deck of the boat,

and the boat's being tossed around,

and she's yelling, "Help! Help!"

And Art wakes up, and his hole is full of water,

water sloshing all around, and he goes, "Help!"

- He yells "help," himself, out loud. - And he jumps out of the hole.

He sees that the whole valley's flooded. It's like a giant mudslide.

And he realizes that Noah must have read...

predicted the weather too.

He didn't make some fun cruise, he was making a life raft.

And that everyone who was left behind was gonna die.

But Art was the only one

who knew this second bit of information,

that that boat was not made that well

and everyone on Noah's ark was gonna die too

because it was gonna fall apart.

And so he knew there was only one thing for him to do.

He had to make his own ark.

- Art's ark. - Art's ark!

Art's ark.

So he gets... He can't do it alone,

so he gets his old friend the beaver...

Bob the Beaver.

And Bob is kind of an old... He was an old beaver, he'd been around forever.

And his story's amazing, which I'll tell you another night.

Bob's incredible. Genius.

And so he gets Bob the Beaver, and they build this boat,

they build Art's ark together.

And they even put this other thing on it

which is this big wooden piece of... a mast,

and they weave these palm fronds together

so it catches the wind and makes them move much faster.

- A sail. - A sail!

They put the first... they build... They make the first sail.

Art invented the sail!

Art was amazing.

So, it zooms up really quickly and it catches Noah's ark.

And sure enough, it's being tossed, taking on water, it's...

it's basically about to fall apart.

And the sharks are circling, and their mouths are salivating.

They can't wait to eat all those animals.

And all the animals on Noah's ark are panicking.

And there's land on the horizon,

but Noah just can't steer there, 'cause he didn't put a...

he didn't put a rudder on, he didn't do anything.

I mean that was... Art's a real... he's an artist, a craftsman.

I mean, he built the thing. You know what I mean?

And, uh, Noah's was just a floating bunch of planks,

and they were coming apart.

And so, quickly, Art throws a lasso around the, uh...

the bow of Noah's ark,

pops the sail, pulls them out of the eye of the storm,

onto the land.