Conception

OKAY, PEOPLE.

LET'S REMEMBER WHAT ARISTOTLE

SAID.

THE AIM OF ART IS TO REPRESENT

NOT THE OUTWARD APPEARANCE

OF THINGS BUT THEIR INWARD

SIGNIFICANCE.

ALL RIGHT, DOES ANYBODY HAVE

ANY QUESTIONS?

DYLAN.

WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM?

WHAT?

WELL...I...

UH, RIGHT.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

IF THERE AREN'T ANY QUESTIONS

ABOUT ART SPECIFICALLY,

THEN I THINK THAT'S IT

FOR TODAY.

YES, DYLAN, DO YOU HAVE TO GO

TO THE BATHROOM?

NO, I WANT TO KNOW

WHERE BABIES COME FROM.

I KNOW.

I HEARD YOU.

BUT WE'RE ALMOST OUT OF TIME.

SO MAYBE WE'LL TACKLE THAT

SUBJECT NEXT WEEK.

BUT WE STILL HAVE

TWO MINUTES.

THANK YOU FOR THAT, LUCY.

BUT PLEASE RAISE YOUR HAND

IF YOU WANT TO CONTRIBUTE TO

THE CLASS.

WE STILL HAVE TWO MINUTES.

OKAY, DYLAN, UM...

I THINK IT'S BEST IF YOU ASK

YOUR MOM AND DAD ABOUT THAT.

I'LL TELL YOU LATER, DYLAN.

I KNOW.

WAIT, NO, NO.

I DON'T THINK THAT'S A GOOD IDEA

EITHER.

WELL, WHERE DO BABIES

COME FROM?

YOU'LL NEVER BELIEVE IT WHEN

I TELL YOU.

IT'S WEIRD.

WHOA, WHOA, IT'S NOT WEIRD.

IT'S NOT WEIRD.

IT'S, UH--IT'S NATURAL.

PLEASE DON'T LISTEN TO REGGIE

ABOUT THIS.

WHO SHOULD WE LISTEN TO?

ME, YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO ME.

I'M AN ADULT.

I KNOW ABOUT THESE THINGS.

WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM?

I'LL DRAW IT FOR YOU.

NO, REGGIE, REG--

OKAY, DYLAN, YOU HAVE A MAN

AND A WOMAN, AND--

WHAT IF IT'S TWO MEN

OR TWO WOMEN?

THANK YOU AGAIN, LUCY.

BUT PLEASE, RAISE YOUR HAND.

OKAY, SO YOU HAVE A MAN AND

A WOMAN...

HERE, IT'S LIKE THIS.

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

NO, SORRY.

IT'S LIKE THIS.

PLEASE SIT DOWN, REGGIE.

THERE'S A MAN AND A WOMAN

WHO ARE HUSBAND AND WIFE...

YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR FATHER,

OKAY?

AND THEY HAVE A SPECIAL BOND.

THEY...

THEY HUG DEEPLY.

AND THEN, NINE MONTHS LATER--

THEY HUG FOR NINE MONTHS?

NO, THEY'RE LUCKY IF THEY

HUG FOR NINE MINUTES.

BUT THE POINT IS,

BECAUSE OF THIS BOND,

MUCH, MUCH LATER,

A BABY ARRIVES.

FROM A STORK?

YES.

YES, DYLAN, FROM A STORK.

IS A STORK ANOTHER NAME

FOR A VAGINA?

I THINK BABIES COME FROM...

UM...

HMM...

I DON'T KNOW THAT.

FROM...

I THINK THAT BABIES COME FROM

THE SKY.

FROM A TRUCK.

I THINK BABIES COME FROM

THEIR MOTHER OR FATHER'S

STOMACH.

A TRUCK?

THAT'S--THAT'S THE SILLIEST

THING I EVER HEARD.

I DON'T KNOW, BUT ONE TIME,

I SAW ON THE COMPUTER

A PANDA HAVING A BABY.

AND IT JUST, LIKE, SHOOTS OUT

LIKE--BUUCCH!

AROUND 5 FEET.

AND I THINK THAT'S HOW

BABIES COME FROM.

YEAH, A TRUCK!

I THINK BABIES COME FROM

A BABY STORE.

IF THEY WANT TO BUY THE BABY,

THEN THEY NEED TO JUST

PICK THEM UP.

BUT--BUT DO WE HAVE SOME--

BUT DO WE--

DID YOU KNOW THAT WE'RE OUT

OF SOAP?

YEAH.

YEAH?

YOU KNEW AND YOU DIDN'T SAY

ANYTHING OR GOD FORBID, MAYBE

REPLACE THE SOAP?

I DID REPLACE IT.

NO, YOU DIDN'T.

YEAH, I DID.

HEY, I WAS JUST IN THE

SHOWER, AND THERE WAS NO SOAP.

OH, WELL, THAT'S 'CAUSE

I HID IT UNDER THE LOOFAH.

MM-HMM.

YOU--YOU HIDE SOAP?

MM-HMM.

YOU HIDE SOAP FROM ME, WHY?

PAYBACK.

BESIDES THE FACT THAT YOU NEVER

REPLACE THE SOAP,

YOU NEVER REPLACE

THE TOILET PAPER.

WELL, I NEVER FINISH--

LEAVING ONE SQUARE

ON THE ROLL IS FINISHING IT.

NO, NO, YOU KNOW WHAT?

BY DEFINITION, "FINISHING IT"

IS FINISHING IT.

AND IF I FINISHED IT,

I'D REPLACE IT.

THE ONLY REASON YOU NEVER

FINISH IT IS BECAUSE YOU USE

KLEENEX INSTEAD OF TOILET PAPER

WHEN IT'S DOWN TO ONE SQUARE.

HOW'D YOU KNOW THAT?

BECAUSE I TESTED YOU.

THE LAST TIME THERE WAS

ONE SQUARE LEFT ON THE ROLL,

IT LASTED SIX DAYS.

SO THAT MEANS YOU EITHER WIPED

YOUR BUTT WITH KLEENEX

OR YOU NEED MORE FIBER

IN YOUR DIET.

SO WHAT DID YOU DO FOR

SIX DAYS WITH NO TOILET PAPER?

I HID IT BEHIND THE PLUNGER.

I LOVE YOU.

YOU SHOULD.

WITHOUT ME, YOU'D BE WALKING

AROUND WITH DINGLEBERRIES

BETWEEN YOUR LEGS.

YOU'RE DISGUSTING.

WELL, YOU'RE LAZY.

WELL, THANK GOD I'M LAZY,

BECAUSE LAZY PEOPLE ARE THE

MOST IMPORTANT PEOPLE

IN THE WORLD.

OH, YEAH?

YEAH, YEAH, LAZINESS BREEDS

EFFICIENCY.

IT'S BECAUSE OF THE LAZY PEOPLE

THAT WE HAVE REMOTE CONTROL,

AUTOMATIC TRANSMISSION, GO-GURT.

GO-GURT?