What About Bob?

I feel good, I feel great, I feel wonderful.

I feel good, I feel great, I feel wonderful.

I feel good, I feel great, I feel wonderful.

I feel good, I feel great, I feel wonderful.

Good morning, Gil.

I said, "good morning, Gil."

I gotta go to work. See ya.

Wish me luck, Gil.

Don't ask me, she's your mother!

Doctor, it's your wife on the phone.

Thank you, Claire.

Fay, are we sitting down?

My publisher thinks it's gonna happen.

He thinks Good Morning America is coming up to

lake Winnipesaukee next week to interview me.

It's a tremendous shot in the arm for my book.

No! It's very unusual.

I think they did visit Dr. Ruth's house once,

but other than that...

Hold on a second, honey.

Yes? Excuse me, doctor.

But there's a Dr. Carswell Fensterwald on the phone.

Thank you.

Fay, I have to go. There's another colleague on the phone.

Boy, they sure do come out of the woodwork when you're famous.

Good-bye, dear.

Carswell!

Leo! Long time no see, huh?

You got a big book out.

Things are really clicking, huh?

That's the way I planned it.

Listen, Leo, I'm quitting my practice for a while.

I'm leaving town,

and I have one patient I'd like to refer to you.

Exactly what kind of a case is it, Carswell?

He's not psychotic, is he?

Uh, no, no. Nothing like that.

No, listen, his name is, uh, Bob Wiley.

He pays early. He comes on time.

And he just needs someone brilliant, Leo.

You know, I know that you don't like flattery,

but if there's anyone I know

who could win the Nobel prize, it's you.

Well...

I suppose I could find an hour for him

sometime after labor day.

Okay, I'll work him in for an interview.

Say, Carswell, how come you're quitting the business?

We're a dying breed, Leo. Good luck.

Free!

Claire, if a Bob Wiley calls,

schedule him for a short interview

right after I get back from my vacation.

He's already called, Dr. Marvin, twice.

He's your next appointment.

That's persistence.

I feel good, I feel great, I feel wonderful.

I feel good...

Son-of-a-bitch! Dirty bastard!

I'll get you. Son-of-a-bitch!

I feel good, I feel great,

I feel wonderful!

I feel good.

Help you, sir?

Yes, Dr. Marvin. Dr. Leo Marvin.

Second elevator, 44th floor.

Thank you.

Elevator?

Oh, ooh...

Bob Wi...

Bob Wiley?

Um, why don't you sit down?

It'll be a few minutes.

Dr. Marvin, Bob Wiley.

Thank you.

Thank you for working me in.

Hello.

Should I call you Dr. Marvin or Leo?

Whichever you'd like.

Call me Bob. Bob.

Is that your family? Yes.

Oh, wait, let me guess. I'm very good at this.

Uh, that's Harriet,

and then Ronnie, Gretchen...

And Rita.

Ah, wait, wait a second.

Uh, Cecilia, Dorothy...

And this is Kenneth,

and... Bambi.

This is my son Sigmund and my wife Fay

and my daughter Anna and that's my sister Lily.

Lily? I was close.

It's a beautiful family.

Thank you.

Have a seat.

Why don't I start, huh?

The simplest way to put it?

I have problems.

Uh, I worry about diseases,

so I have trouble touching things.

Uh, in public places it's almost impossible.

I have a real big problem moving.

Talk about... Moving.

As long as I'm in my apartment I'm okay.

But when I want to go out, I get...

Weird.

Talk about weird.

Talk about weird.

Well, I get dizzy spells.

Nausea, cold sweats...

Hot sweats,

fever blisters, difficulty breathing,

difficulty swallowing,

blurred vision, involuntary trembling, dead hands,

numb lips, fingernail sensitivity,

pelvic discomfort.

So the real question is, what is the crisis, Bob?

What is it that you are truly afraid of?

What if my heart stops beating?

What if I'm looking for a bathroom?

I can't find it... and...

My bladder explodes.

Have you ever heard of Tourette's syndrome?

Mm-hmm.

Involuntarily shouting profanity.

It's exceptionally rare.

Shit-eating son of a bitch!

Bastard, douchebag, twat!

Numb-nuts, dickhead, bitch!

Why, exactly, are you doing this?

If I fake it, then I don't have it.

You know, it's the same with the cardiac arrest.

Are you married?

I'm divorced.

Would you like to talk about that?

There are two types of people in this world.

Those who like Neil Diamond and those who don't.

My ex-wife loves him.

I see.

So what you're saying is that even though

you are an almost paralyzed,

multi-phobic personality

that is in a constant state of panic,

your wife did not leave you, you left her

because she liked Neil Diamond?

Now, you're saying that maybe...

Maybe I didn't leave her because she likes Neil Diamond,

but maybe... maybe she left me?

Yes.

Ow! Ow!

Ow! Ow!

Ow!

Dr. Marvin... you can help me.

For the first time in my life I feel like there's hope.

I feel like I can be somebody.

Bob, there's an old saying...

That the best psychiatrist in the world...

Is the one right inside of you.

Yeah.

I can help you, yes.

Thank you.

Bob, there is a groundbreaking new book

that has just come out.

Ah!

Now, not everything in this book,

of course, applies to you,

but I'm sure that you can see,

when you see the title,

exactly how it could help.

Baby steps?

It means setting small, reasonable goals for yourself

one day at a time, one tiny step at a time.

Baby steps.

For instance, um, when you leave this office,

don't think about everything you have to do

in order to get out of the building.

Just think of what you must do to get out of this room.

And when you get to the hall,

deal with that hall and so forth.

You see?

Baby steps! Baby steps.

Oh, boy.

Baby steps. Baby steps.

Baby steps through the office?

Baby steps out the door.

It worked.

It works.

All I have to do

is take one little step at a time

and I can do anything.

Hmm.

Baby step around the office. Baby step around the office.

That should give you a lot to digest

while I'm on vacation.

Va... vacation?

Oh, certainly my secretary told you.

As of this afternoon, I'm taking my family

on vacation until labor day.

That's a month.

What if I need you? What if I need to talk?