The Secret Life of Walter Mitty

Huh?

Hi! Todd Mahar, eHarmony.

How can I help you today?

Hi. I can't seem to leave a wink for someone.

I don't know, is my page broken?

Do I maybe have a broken page, or...

I've never heard of that, but, okay.

You're trying to use your eHarmony account for the first time?

- I am. - Okay.

I'm looking at your profile.

We have a pretty intricate matching algorithm.

That's what distinguishes us from other online dating services.

Yeah, I like that.

Actually, I'm just trying to leave a wink for one person.

Cheryl Melhoff.

She started in my division at work about a month ago...

and I overheard her near the bagels saying she was on your site.

Okay, that's unique.

But let me ask you.

You left a lot of this stuff...

like the "Been There, Done That" section, you left it blank.

Yeah, I think I skipped it.

Okay, you got to help me out here, man.

Don't skip stuff.

Okay, well, I haven't really been

anywhere noteworthy or mentionable.

Have you done anything noteworthy, mentionable?

Hello, you still there?

Can you hang on a second?

Go, go, go! Get out! Get out!

She's gonna blow! Go! Go!

- Chips! - Over here!

Chips! Thank you!

How did you know about the building?

I heard barking, thought I smelled gas.

I hope it's okay.

I engineered a prosthesis for Chips

while I was sprinting down the stairwell.

A little hip-joint assembly

with a drop-ring lock and an anterior pelvic band.

God, you're noteworthy!

I just live by the ABC's, Adventurous, Brave, Creative.

That's everything I want in a man.

My man?

Hey, my man, you still there?

Hey.

What? Did you pass out or...

No, I just like, zoned out for a second.

Okay. Do you do that a lot?

Normal amount, I guess.

Yeah, I got to run. Sorry.

Okay, but we need a lot more...

Hey. Bad day to be late.

We just got acquired.

- What? - Yeah, over the weekend.

Walter! Happy birthday!

Whoo-hoo!

He's 42 years old!

Odessa! What are you doing here?

Mom made you your favorite clementine cake.

Aren't you supposed to be at the retirement place

with her getting the piano moved in?

Yes, I was there. It's like halfway done...

piano's out of the van, it's on the street, everything's fine.

But I just got a phone call about a really

big audition, so can you go finish it?

No, I can't. I'm late. Walter, I...

I don't think you're seeing this from what I need.

What do you need?

I need to be Rizzo in Grease.

I don't understand that.

- My audition! Rizzo! - Rizzo?

Rizzo! She's tough and tender!

Do me a favor, please.

Make sure Mom's piano gets moved in all the way. All right?

Don't go to Rizzo!

Oh, thanks, Walter. Happy birthday!

Guess what? We just got acquired.

Yeah, I heard.

Yeah, there's gonna be changes.

Downsizing of us into some kind of dot-com thing, possibly.

I wonder how this thing goes down,

how the transition's gonna play out.

I could probably tell you.

Ted Hendricks, managing director of the transition.

Hey. Tim Naughton. Sales.

Gary Mannheim, graphic design.

And what do you do, cake man?

Oh, uh...

The cake's just for today. I'm not a cake man.

I do...

I deal dirctly...

"Dirctly"?

Directly with LIFE's photo units...

I'm sorry, I was really getting into this song

and I stopped listening to you.

I was saying, you know who looks good in a beard?

Dumbledore, not you.

Guy?

Guy?

What do you do?

I'm a negative asset manager.

Worth the wait.

Mind over matter.

- Ted. - Donny.

- Feeling tough? - Feeling good.

Well, got to make some tough calls ahead.

You been here before, yeah?

Yeah, so this is it, huh?

Yeah, the "house of pictures."

Hey.

- Hi. - How was your weekend?

I had an awesome weekend.

And what did you do this weekend?

Um... Let's see.

I bathed in Arctic mountain water...

while my Latin lover recited verse to me.

- You slut. - I know.

Actually, I waited for my refrigerator repairman, who never came.

I'm so sorry.

I'm gonna call you later.

Okay.

The ice, yes?

She moves like a woman.

I'm Walter. Mitty.

Cheryl. Melhoff.

Where have you been?

Testing the limits of the human "espirit".

I'd like to climb your hair, test that out.

Perhaps I can contact you, possibly through my poetry falcon.

Poetry falcon.

I like that.

Do you think, if I hit him with a paper clip, would he move?

I don't know.

Do it.

Hello.

I actually threw a toner box at him once.

Yeah? Did he move?

No, I missed.

That's a great story.

Ground Control to Major Tom.

Can you hear me, Major Tom?

Oh!

Wow.

Moving on, as they say.

Conference room, more of these stations here...

where people sort of do their thing.

Layout's here for...

Morning, Hernando!

There's a new nut pouch, did you hear?

Yeah. I met him.

We're gonna be evaluated.

They won't be able to. We do intricate details back here.

Yeah.

It's tricky. And bewildering.

I should evaluate you, you should evaluate me.

I don't think they'll let us do that.

Just saying.

Hey, how long has this neg roll been here... out in the open?

It says "Sean O'Connell."

It came in this morning.

There's a present, too. He sent you a present, on your desk.

Sean O'Connell still shoots on film.

That results for me in a man crush.

Hey, you want to mount these?

Seriously?

Sure.

Heard rumblings LIFE'S done, man.

Wanted to say thanks.

Take a look inside, a gift for all the years of hard work.

Sorry about the neg roll.

I spilled some blood on it...

while self-stitching a gun wound to my abdomen...

but number 25 is my best ever.

The quintessence of life, I think.

I trust you'll get it where it needs to go...

you always do.

What did you get?

It's a wallet.

With LIFE's motto on it.

Here you go.

- Where's 25? - It's not there.

Hey, we need negative 25.

Sean O'Connell sent a telegram.

An actual telegram.

A 100-year-old dude came in a little hat.

So there's a floor meeting.

Bring 25.

It's here somewhere. We'll find it.

Okay, make a contact sheet of these frames as soon as you can.

And don't say anything to anyone.

Yeah.

I just wanted to inform you all reluctantly, that...

I guess, just start back from the beginning.

Okay. I just wanted to inform you all reluctantly...

that this month's issue will be our last.

What?

Yeah. What?

This is some bull!

It's sad...