9-1-1: Lone Star

Hey, folks, this is Ronald the Survival Guy.

Today, I am building a primitive lean-to,

ideal if you ever find yourself

in the case of emergency shelter.

As you can see, I've already gathered

quite the stack of brush.

And with my trusty knife,

I'm sharpening this y-stick.

Now, I usually don't get personal on these blogs,

but a lot of you've been asking

why Brittany is no longer in my videos.

Long story short, she met a gentleman

with another more, heh, popular bushcraft vlog.

I'm not gonna say names.

But just so you know, it's gonna take a lot more than that to break me.

Oh, wow.

I don't know if you guys can see this, but...

an alligator lizard just paid us a visit.

How about I show you all how to grill up a little lizard snack?

He's wily.

Wily.

Oh God! Ow!

Hello!

Austin Emergency Services!

He's gotta be close.

Guy told dispatch he was half a click south of the road

before his cell dropped out.

Better than a whole click, I guess.

Hey, I'm here! Please help!

Alright. Emergency services. We're coming to you!

I'm here!

I'm here. Oh, God.

I'm here. I'm...

- I'm here - Alright.

TK, get his vitals. Nancy, inspect the wound.

- Oh, God. - I understand you have a stab wound.

- Is that correct? - I accidentally got myself.

Cap, I'm seeing a strange lump.

- Cap, it moved! The lump moved. - Ah!

Oh, yeah, it's a sneaky little bastard, alright.

- Holy God. What is that? - Alligator lizard.

That's what I was going for

when I got myself and then it climbed inside.

Just get it out!

- Please. - Alright. Alright.

TK, grab your tourniquet.

Let's keep that little bugger from going up any higher.

Just one last twist.

There we go.

Dude is lit.

And it's mating season,

so he's gonna already be worked up.

If he comes out, he's gonna be looking to attack.

Then we'll give him something to attack.

TK, grab his shoulders.

Nancy, hold his feet.

Yeah, Cap.

Ron, listen to me.

I'm gonna need you to brace yourself, okay?

This is gonna hurt.

It can't hurt more than it already does.

Okay, here we go.

Cap, what are you doing?

You're just gonna piss it off even more.

That's the idea.

Come on. - Oh, God!

Come on.

Okay, that's it.

There he is.

TK, grab the biohazard bag. There we go.

There.

Cap, what are we gonna do with this thing?

Uh, that's for Animal Control to sort out.

Let's package him up, get him ready for travel.

How you doing, Ron?

Oh, better. But-but could you--

Yes, Nancy, uh, would you get rid of the tourniquet?

It's got to hurt like hell. Thanks.

Say, could you hold it up for the camera?

My subscribers are gonna wanna see a close-up.

So when we last spoke, we talked about you

making a note of those moments during the week

when you felt rage building or an urge to lash out.

Yeah.

And how did that fare?

Mm-hmm.

Okay.

I see.

Okay.

Right.

Huh.

Okay.

Oh, wow.

Should you be saying "wow"?

It's fairly frequent, isn't it,

these feelings of rage?

When I told you I was pissed off all the time,

I meant all the time.

I just don't know why all of a sudden.

Well, maybe it's not as sudden as you think.

It's possible that the roots of your anger

go deeper than you know.

I'd like to try something.

Have you heard of EMDR?

I think I listened to 'em in the '80s.

No, it's Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing.

It's a form of therapy that allows us

to occupy your active mind

so as to free up your unconscious mind.

And you think that's gonna unlock the source of my rage?

It might.

Now watch the ball on the screen.

Deep breaths.

Follow the ball.

Breathing.

Good.

Okay, what do you see in your mind's eye right now?

A spot on my lung.

My tumor.

Deep breaths.

Follow the ball.

And what do you see now?

My son in a hospital bed.

He's got a tube down his throat.

Watching the ball. What about now?

A red, uh...

Big red nose.

Like a bloody nose?

No, like a-a, uh...

Like, like a rubber, like a--

It's a clown.

Alright, I think that's a good start.

Let's take a break.

Yeah, I think we got a little off-track there.

I think we are right on our way, actually.

Tell me about the clown.

- What? - The clown.

It's the only time that you took your eyes away from the screen

and your respiration became notably more rapid.

I think it's telling.

Except it isn't.

It just popped into my head.

It doesn't mean anything.

All the other associations

had to do with some sort of trauma.

I don't have any trauma around clowns.

When you think about clowns, what comes up?

John Wayne Gacy.

The Joker, Pennywise.

All negative representations.

Uh, 'cause clowns are awful.

So it's possible that you suffer from coulrophobia,

which is the irrational or extreme fear of clowns.

My "fear of clowns" is-is neither irrational nor extreme.

But you do have very strong feelings about clowns.

So how are you coping with that?

I avoid the circus.

Okay, sir, I'm gonna get help to you.

Can you give me your address?

I-I-I can't. I don't... I don't, I don't live here.

I'm renting this condo for a work trip.

Oh, my God, there's so much smoke.

Okay. I need you to stay low and stay calm.

I'm Dave. Can you give me your name?

Jordan. Okay, Jordan.

Let's forget the address.

Can you recall for me any cross streets,

Anywhere you might have gone for a takeaway?

- - - A takeout? Yes.

I get coffee every morning at Capitol Roasters.

Brilliant. I see it.

That puts you on Congress.

That's right! That's right!

It's the tower across the street.

Can you tell me what unit you're in?

I'm on the fifth floor,

but I'm not in my unit.

I'm in a hallway.

Okay, then let's get you to some stairs.

That's what I'm looking for but I can't find it.

I can barely see with all this smoke.

Alright. I am pulling up the building blueprints.

But for now, I need to get you behind a closed door

and away from that smoke.

Do you think you can find your way back

to your unit for me?

The ceiling's falling!

I don't know where I am and now I'm really turned around.

Okay. Okay.

I want you to start banging on doors.

Let's see if we can find someone to let you inside.

Hello!

Hey! Open up!

The building's on fire!

Hello!

Help! Please, I need help!

Dave, the building's mostly empty.

I understand, Jordan.

Okay, I've got the building blueprints in front of me.

Tell me what unit you are standing in front of right now.