Stutz

What's up, Stutz?

Hi, Jonah.

- Okay, entertain me. -

That's actually what you say when I sit down.

It's what I say to everybody.

Yeah, when we have a therapy session that's not filmed for a movie.

The… the other thing you… you say that always cracks me up, which is great,

is, "You better not come in here and dump all your shit on me."

No, yeah, you know, you've been dumping it on me for years,

and I'm tired.

Well, here we are.

Why do you think I'm making this movie about you?

I think it's… it's my ideas.

I… I think my ideas had an effect on you,

and I think you wanted to expose other people to the ideas.

And maybe…

I don't know, maybe it's just an attempt to gain control over me, or…

I'm not sure. Why did you?

Yeah, I have decided to make this because I want to present your tools

and the teachings of you, Phil Stutz, my therapist,

in a way that allows people to access them

and use them to make their own life better.

So I thought we would just film one session in one day

and cover some of your tools

that have been most helpful for me in my life.

I think that's good.

And do it in a way that also honors,

um, the life of somebody that I deeply care about and respect.

Okay.

But can you be funny once in a while? Just…

- -

What's usually the first question you ask a new patient?

The first thing I ask them is, "What do you want? Why are you here?"

The average shrink will say, "Don't intrude on the patient's process."

"They will come up with the answers when they're ready."

That sucks. That's not acceptable.

When I got into psychiatry, the model was, "I'm neutral."

"I'm just watching. I have no dog in this fight."

It was a very slow process, and there was a lot of suffering.

You know me, my reaction will be,

"Then go fuck yourself. Are you kidding me?"

If I'm dealing with someone with depression like that,

who's afraid won't recover,

I say, "Do what the fuck I tell you. Do exactly what I tell you."

"I guarantee you'll feel better. Guarantee, 100%. It's on me."

When I walked into your office, we sat down,

and you were just like, "Here's what you should do."

You gave me some form of action. You gave me a tool.

Yeah, it's… it's imperative.

I wanted speed in this.

Not speed to cure somebody in a week. That's impossible.

But I wanted them to feel some change,

some forward motion.

It gives them hope.

It's like, "Oh, shit, that's actually possible."

So what are the tools?

A tool is something that can change your state, your inner state,

immediately, in real time.

It takes an experience that's normally unpleasant,

then it turns it into an opportunity.

Tools change your mood

and then just give you a sense of hope that that won't be your mood forever.

That's correct.

It's basically a real-time visualization exercise

you do in your head at that moment.

Yeah. So in that sense, I'm a teacher.

I'm teaching the person how to use it and also teach them when to do it.

All of your patients, myself included, we have all these note cards.

And they're drawings of the tools that you do in our sessions

that we take home and keep.

I tend to think in visual terms.

So I started drawing these cards really for myself,

but it helped the patients tremendously.

The power of the cards is that they turn big ideas into simple images.

It was a way of communicating with the patient

that I actually felt was more powerful than using words.

The moment they take out the card,

there's a connection between the two of us. There's a bond.

Yeah, we have a uniquely personal relationship.

So much so that you're letting me make a film about you.

That is something I've never experienced in the therapeutic world.

And, ultimately,

my life has gotten immeasurably better as a result of working with you,

and so, if it worked for me, maybe it will work for other people.

- - Um…

Oh, yeah. Time for medicine.

- Time for what? - Time to take your medicine.

- Oh, thanks. - The alarm went off.

Oh, shit.

Jonah, you want to do some Parkinson's drugs with me?

I kicked the stuff years ago, man.

You know, when I was a kid, when I was using drugs,

if you ever told me, "50 years hence you'd be taking all this medicine…".

So that's all medicine for your Parkinson's?

Yeah.

With Parkinson's, the biggest thing is, and there's something good about this,

you have to preplan a lot of little things.

When I have to get out of bed,

I have to go through contortions to get out of the bed.

The hardest thing for me in life is getting out of bed in the morning.

- But for very different reasons. - For different… Yeah.

So, before meeting you, my experience with therapy was very traditional

in the sense of I would be talking

and the person would say, "How does that feel?"

- Or, "Interesting." - Right.

Basically keeping me at a massive distance.

Yeah.

And I was thinking about how, in traditional therapy,

you're paying this person, and you save all of your problems for them,

and they just listen,

and your friends, who are idiots,

give you advice.

- Yes. - Unsolicited.

- Yes. - And you want your friends just to listen.

And you want your therapist to give you advice.

Here's the thing.

The shrinks, it's not that they don't want to help you.

It's really not.

But for me, I always felt there was something missing.

So a tool is a bridge

between what you realize the problem is and the cause of the problem

to over here,

actually gaining at least some control over the symptom.

It all has to do with possibility.

And not a bullshit definition of possibility.

Possibility means you feel yourself reacting differently.

It sounds, um…

What do you call it? Trite. But it's actually the truth.

One of the first things you got me working on was my life force.

That was such an immediate thing that can change your life

and something that I think anyone can easily latch onto.

And it was the first step for me

in beginning the process of getting better.

Yeah, that's correct. Here's the classic thing that happens.

A guy's depressed, he comes into my office, and he says,

"I know my habits are shit."

"I… I… I know I'm undisciplined. I know I'm lazy."

"But if I only knew what I was supposed to be doing,

what my mission was in life, essentially, I'd be like I was shot out of a gun."

"But I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing,

so I'm just gonna be lazy and do nothing."

Then, from that, obviously comes the depression.

There's something that… that will apply to you

and to anybody else who doesn't have a sense of direction

or doesn't know what they should do next,

and the answer is, you can always work on your life force.

The only way to find out what you should be doing, like who you are,

is to activate your life force,

because your life force is the only part of you

that actually is capable of guiding you when you're lost.

If you think of it as a pyramid, there's three levels of the life force.

The bottom level is your relationship with your physical body.

The second layer is your relationship with other people.

And the highest level is your relationship with yourself.

The bottom step is your relationship to your physical body.

All you gotta do is get your body working better, and it always works.

The most classic thing is they're not exercising.

Diet is another one,

and sleeping.

So what percentage of that stuff

is what makes you actually feel better at first?

Well, when it starts out,

it's probably 85%.

It's very high.

How fucking crazy is that?

When I was a kid,

exercise and diet was framed to me in like,

"There's something wrong with how you look."

But never once was exercise or diet

propositioned to me in terms of mental health.

I just wish that was presented to people differently.

Yeah.

Because, for me,

that caused a lot of problems

and even problems with me and my mom.

I really met her, like, with an attitude of,

"Fuck you, I don't want to do that,

because you're saying there's something wrong with me."

Yeah? Explain that.

Um, I can, but I'm not gonna go into it, 'cause this movie is about you, not me.

But what if I said the more you elaborate on it,

the easier it's gonna be for me to take some chances.

Did you ever think of it like that?

I would say you should make a movie about me,

instead of me making a movie about you.

Yeah, that's a good one.

Okay. So that's the first level.

The next one is your relationship to other people,

'cause when people get depressed,

it's not that they end their relationships.

It's like a ship disappearing over the horizon.

They start to get pulled back, away from their life,

and relationships are like...

You know those things when you're climbing a mountain, pounding those pitons,

it's like a handhold.

So your relationships are like handholds to let yourself get pulled back into life.

The key of it is you have to take the initiative.

If you're waiting for them to the take the initiative, you don't understand.

You could invite somebody out to lunch that you don't find interesting,

it doesn't matter, it will affect you anyway, in a positive way.