Tales from the Crypt

Stay as close as you can, please.

In the reign of Henry VIII...

When the monasteries in England were dissolved...

And the occupants tortured,

beheaded in public or murdered secretly,

some went into hiding to worship as they pleased.

It is the decaying bodies and skeletons of these religious martyrs...

That you will see on your tour.

These catacombs are dangerous.

And I must warn you to stay with me...

And not lose your way.

Please keep close together.

- My brooch! - Hmm?

I must have dropped it somewhere.

Thank you.

Well, which way shall we go?

Well, it's a toss-up. Let's try this way.

- Dead end. - Sorry. Wrong guess.

Well, there's no way out of here. Let's go back.

There's no way out there.

- Who are you? - Where did you come from?

All in good time.

Look, how do we get out of here?

- All in good time. - I'm in a hurry!

It can wait.

- It really can't wait. I have an appointment. - Sit.

All of you.

Please sit down.

Sit down.

I assure you, I have a purpose.

What purpose?

Why did you come in here?

I don't know. I was just driving by and...

Something made me.

And what are your plans when you leave here?

Plans?

Plans.

"To Joanne. The best wife in the World.

Love from Richard." And a big kiss.

Merry Christmas.

Mummy! Mummy!

Just a minute, darling.

Mummy will be right up.

- Mummy! - I'm coming, Carol!

- Carol, darling, what's the matter? - Did Santa come yet?

No, darling, not yet. You be a good girl and go on to sleep.

- Can I see him when he comes? - We'll see.

Now you be a good girl and go to sleep. Otherwise, Santa won't come.

- What's this? - Nothing. Just a Christmas card from daddy.

- All right? Good night. - Good night, mummy.

Night, daddy!

We interrupt this program for a special announcement.

A man described as a homicidal maniac...

Has escaped from the hospital for the criminally insane.

He is 6 foot 3 inches tall,

210 pounds, dark eyes, bald,

and may be wearing a Santa claus costume...

Taken from a shop in Burley.

All residents of the county are warned to be on the lookout for this man...

And to phone the police if they see him.

We now continue our program of Carols for Christmas Eve.

Blood.

Carol.

Carol!

Carol! Carol.

Carol, where are you?

Carol? Carol!

Oh, no.

He's here, mummy! I let him in. It's Santa!

Nonsense. I have no inten...

hadn't you?

And you?

I'm on my way home to see my wife and children.

- And then? - Hmm?

And then?

And then?

- Well, I'm all set. - Must you go tonight, Carl?

Can't you leave it till the morning?

No, I'm afraid I can't.

My appointment's in the morning. I'll have to drive all night to make it.

When will you be back?

I, uh... I don't know. We'll have to see how it works out.

I'll, um... I'll phone you.

Did you say good night to the kids?

No. I was just going to.

Good night, daddy.

Good-bye, darling.

Don't forget to ring me when you get there.

I will. Good-bye, darling.

- Bye. Drive carefully. - Yes, right.

The removal men came this morning.

Yeah, well, so I see.

- It should all be there by the time we get there. - Yeah.

- A shame to give up a nice flat like this. - Yes, I know that, darling.

But we've both had to give up quite a bit, haven't we?

I love you, Susan. You know that, don't you?

Yes, of course I do.

You meet someone, and suddenly that's it.

I kissed my kids tonight and... and...

Oh, for hell's sake! I mean, it will be worth it, won't it, for both of us?

Of course it will.

You are tired. Let me drive.

Yeah, okay.

No. No.

No. No!

No.

No. No!

I'm sorry. Bad dream.

Look out!

Susan.

Susan, where are you?

You crazy fool! Do you want to get yourself kill...

Darling.

What's the matter then? Look.

Well, pull yourself together. What's the matter?

Come on now.

- Yes? - Susan!

- Who is it? - It's me, Carl.

Carl?

Carl... it can't be.

"Can't be"? What do you mean?

Carl was...

where have you been?

Please go away.

Look, I've been worried out of my mind.

What's happened?

The furniture.

I don't understand. How'd it...

I brought it back after the crash.

- Huh? - And I was blinded.

Blinded?

And Carl was killed.

Killed?

Two years ago.

I'm sorry. Bad dream.

Look out!

So that is why you were in a hurry?

- To leave your wife and children? - What do you mean?

How do you... who are you?

I assure you, I have a purpose.

- What sort of game are you playing? - Game?

You're trying to frighten us in some way.

What do you want?

To show you something.

Something in your own mind.

Something you are capable of doing.

I don't wanna know.

Oh, but you must know.

You must.

Thank you.

- We knew it was you. - You knew it was me?

Dear old punch though, he's very nice, isn't he?

Ah, I know some of you have to get home rather soon.

So there's your little present, my dear. There.

- Thank you, Mr. Grimsdyke. - That's all right.

Now shall I tell you something? My wife's name was Helen. Mary Helen Grimsdyke.

I always called her Helen. It's a nice name, isn't it? Yeah.

- Bye-bye then. - Come on, Mark. Come on, Julie.

Come and sit here. Bye-bye, Mark. Bye-bye, Julie.

Bye.

Bye.

Two little dickey birds sitting on a wall.

One named Peter. One named Paul.

Fly away, Peter. Fly away, Paul.

Come back, Peter. Come back, Paul.

That's it. You think you could do that?

What are you looking at?

Grimsdyke, of course.

His usual shell out to the kids.

He does it every year on his birthday.

- I don't know how you stand it. - Stand what?

Living across the road from that man.

He's a rubbish collector. A dustman.

His place is an eyesore.

The toys he give those kids he finds in the rubbish heap and repairs.

- Why doesn't he sell out? - I've made him offers.

He's... he's sentimental about that old dump.

Says he and his wife lived there for their whole married life.

And now he wants to die there, just as she did.

Well, it ruins the neighbourhood and depreciates the value of our property.

The inside must be like a pigsty.

He owns the place free and clear.

Nothing we can do about it.

Bye-bye. See you tomorrow. Shut the gate.

Bye-bye.

Isn't there?

What on earth have you been doing?

Somebody's just made an awful mess of Mr. Baker's garden.

Poor Grimsdyke's neighbour. He was so proud of his prize roses.

My prize roses.

Years of hard work.

It's Grimsdyke's dogs for sure.

This is too much. I'd like to make an official complaint.

But you mustn't take them away.

They're my friends. Sergeant, please.

It's a court order, and they don't have licenses.

- I couldn't afford licenses. - I'm sorry, Mr. Grimsdyke.

Sergeant, please.

Darling. Darling?

Are you there, darling?