Pot o' Gold

Hello, Mrs Simmons...Mary. Hello, Mr Haskel.

Here's your shirt, Jimmy. I turned the cuffs. Thanks.

Little enough for letting Mary practise here. Oh, it's all right.

How is she doing? Encourage her. If she practises, she'll be good.

I'll be back in an hour. OK. I'll take good care of her.

Hop to it, Mary.

Mary, give me an "A", please.

That's it. OK, thanks.

When are you going to get new records? You haven't worn out those.

Won't be long now.

Hi, Tommy. Tomatoes for my last lesson. Tomorrow, I'll bring bacon.

OK, here's your horn. I think you left your music over there.

Uncle Charlie, glad to see you! Jimmy, I'm glad to see you, too.

What brings you here? I came because you didn't answer my letter.

I wanted time to think it over. Come in, Uncle Charlie.

I...I wrote you...

I wrote you three months ago!

Was it that long? You know how it is, a fella gets busy.

With these things, you have to change the oil every thousand miles.

Jimmy! Jimmy!

I came up to have an important talk with you. Go ahead. I'm listening.

Can't we go some place without this infernal racket?!

Yeah. We'll go in my room.

Where? Right over there.

Here we are.

That chair needs fixing. It's a trade for a second-hand clarinet.

Jimmy, I'm not going to beat around the bush.

As you know, we've not been close.

After all, we are the last of the Haskels. Is that very serious?

I want to keep the name of Haskel in the health-food business.

I understand. I want to keep our name in the music business.

I'm talking about BIG business. Can't you understand?

I need you, Jimmy. Some day, you're going to get everything I've got.

But you won't get it if you fritter your life away in this town.

This whistle stop.

I like it here. My dad was happy here.

I could never understand my brother.

I told him when he opened this place he'd never make a go of it.

It failed successfully for 25 years. That's not bad.

If he'd listened to me, he'd have been a rich man. But, no.

What did he have when he died? The biggest funeral this town ever saw.

Everybody was there. Everybody owed him money. Maybe so.

Dad had a wonderful time living. He liked hunting, fishing, music.

Music! He talked a great deal about you.

He did? Always seemed to feel sorry for you.

Sorry?! You didn't get anything out of life. Just making money.

Is that so? Since when has making money been a crime?

I'm not going to argue with you. And I'm not going to get upset. No, sir!

Jimmy! Jimmy!

Uncle, I'm sorry.

Don't hit him. He's an old man. It was the chair.

Are you hurt? Don't mind me.

Hello, Bud. Can I talk to you? Yeah, outside here.

Excuse me a minute, Uncle Charlie.

Afraid I've got some bad news. What's the trouble, Bud?

I'm to take up this attachment unless you've got money.

Take it up. Unless you think eggs are gonna go up to 500 a dozen.

See what you can do. I'll hold this off as long as I can. Thanks, Bud.

He was just telling me about some people

that wanted musical instruments.

He's the sheriff. How do you know? I knew his father.

He was serving a paper on your father the first time I was here.

Well, you can stay here chasing rainbows

or I can show you a real pot of gold.

I...I... Wait. That's a good idea for my radio show tomorrow night.

You've heard my Happiness Hour of course. Everybody's heard it.

Once. Listen to this.

Clouds that make the day so grey must sooner or later pass away.

There's a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Homespun philosophy.

Oh, boy.

I've got to be going. What are you going to do?

Unless a miracle happens in the next few days,

looks like I'll slide right down that rainbow. Fine.

And land right in the pot.

What was I saying? And furthermore...

And furthermore, I see no reason...

What was I saying? And furthermore...

I see no reason to change the air guns we use to puff rice and cereals.

Our air guns are exceptionally quiet.

I therefore would suggest...

There goes that band again.

Oh, I'll settle this.

How can a man transact business with that going on?

Tom-toms, jungle screeches. They're a menace to sanity.

What did I say? Tom-toms and jungle screeches. No, that's what I mean.

The McCorkles took that band in to annoy me.

That's why they've ignored my protests.

It's a new band. Who wants a new band? Let them do it in a cave.

Boom-boom-boom-boom-boom! Walawalawala!

I'll settle this once and for all.

Hey! Hey!

You! Hey!

Hey, you! Somebody, hey!

< Hey! Hey! What's the matter?

Stop that blasted bedlam or I'll have it stopped!

Oh, you will, eh? You and who else?

The police! I'll have them thrown in jail for disturbing the peace.

Disturbing the peace?

What about that air gun booming all day and night?

I suppose that's a baby's lullaby, you white-headed old baboon.

That boom is this business. Besides, we're all used to it.

The band is business. You can get used to it. I'll get an injunction.

Oh, you will, eh? Listen, you black-hearted old skinflint.

You want me to sell my house so you can enlarge your factory.

I'm not selling. Not at your price.

Call the cops if you think you can have this band thrown out.

You just wait! You'll find out!

Go ahead, boys. Go to it, but loud.

Jasper. Go and get Jasper.

Jasper! Jasper!

Find him. Don't stand there like a dummy.

Do I have to do everything? Jasper!

Do you want me, CJ? Why aren't you here when I need you?

Get the police. The police? The militia if necessary.

That woman has insulted me for the last time. You said that before.

This time I mean it. That band is driving me insane.

It certainly is. Have them arrested.

I will. Good.

# Hi, Si, what's a-cooking? Hi, Si, how's she looking?

# Life will be as sweet as can be

# If I find a cookie that's looking for me

# Hi, Si, di-di-dida, di-di da-da da da da-da

# All day long I wash and dry To keep my cookie away from Shanghai

# Shine for you? Ten cents implies a revenue

# Your dogs will get a real shampoo The real Magoo

< Fresh fish!

# Dum-dee dum-doo diddly-dum

# The fortune teller told me I was gonna clean up. #

The apples good? I supply the Ritz. They'll do for the McCorkles.

I'll take half a dozen.

Here, Willy. What am I? A packhorse?

Anything else, Miss Molly? That'll be all. Thank you.

Here, stupid. Well, take it.

Thank you.

Come on. Too bad you can't carry a few bundles without complaining.

I don't mind carrying them.

Well, who are you? I'm the guy carrying the bundle.

Thanks. I thought my brother Willy was behind me.

He went ahead of you. I'm terribly sorry. You must have been surprised.

Life in the city is one surprise after another. For instance?

Band music coming down out of the sky. That's up on our roof.

On your roof? The band is on the house, until we get a job.

Are you with the band? My sister Donna and I sing. Mother feeds it.

It certainly is a swell band. Not everyone agrees with that.

You mean the neighbours object? No. The neighbours are...

Uh-oh. Here comes trouble.

As you can see, Miss McCorkle, I'm here with the law.

For protection? No. This is your last warning.

That music must cease! < I'm coming, Molly.

What does this weasel want? As if I didn't know. No violence.

Speak to her, officer. Hello, Mom.

You're in bad company. I'm here to give you an ultimatum.

That band are disturbing the entire neighbourhood.

The entire neighbourhood? Does it disturb you, Mrs Papadalis?

No. It keeps me young. Disturbing the peace. And you, Mrs Sweeney?

My old man can't fight when he hears music.

They will, will they? The hoodlums, the ruffians.

Go back to your kennel and tell old man Haskel what you've heard.

What's going on? You've heard of the Hatfield and McCoy feud?

This is between the McCorkles and the Haskels. Who? Come on.

What are you doing? Looking for a nice soft one.

Oh, quit kicking me!

Look out. Now, just a minute. Just a minute. You might miss him.

Down.

You hoodlums! You'll pay for this!

Now.

Stand aside...

I hit the wrong man. No, you hit the right man.

Run! No, wait. Come on.

They got me. It's blood! I've been shot. I've been stabbed.

You're all right, CJ. I'm not all right. Call an ambulance.

It isn't blood, CJ. It isn't blood?

What is it? Tomato juice.

All's clear. Come on in.

Boy, you sure do know your back yards and fences.

I'd have been faster without you. I didn't want you to carry my case.

Have a doughnut, hero. It's the best I can offer.

Hero? Me? You certainly are.

They may put up a statue of you, like the discus fellow.

It was an accident - hitting my... that man. It was a stroke of genius.

Everybody hates Haskel. Why?

I could give you a reason for every dollar he's got in the bank.

He's trying to drive us out because he hates music. What a stinker.

The name of Haskel is poison around here.

It is?

Well...

I guess I'd better be going.

What's your hurry?

I have to find a place to live. I was going to live with a relative.

If you'd like a place where there's never a dull moment...

What's going on? What do you want?

He needs a place to live. Are you in a band or are you paying?

This is the fellow that hit Haskel with a tomato.

Oh, glory be.

You darling! Why didn't you tell me?

So, you're the fella.

Don't look any further. You're living with us. Give me the bag.

That's nice, but... No buts. The best room is none too good for you.

Whether you can pay for it or not. Give me the bag. ..Willy!

We've been looking for you. I've finished that arrangement.