American Dad!

Broadcast TV Family Night may now commence.

All the content you can stream online,

plus you get the commercials for free.

I heard there's a new ad for Lincoln

where Matthew McConaughey just turns into a gentle breeze

and moves through a wheat field.

I present, for your Epicurean pleasure,

The Popcorn Bar,

complete with artisanal butters and toppings.

The popcorn's in glasses?

We're not dukes!

Can't we just have it the normal way,

folded up in our shirts?

You can eat it any way you...

And where are all the un-popped kernels?

I'm just supposed to munch away happily

without the risk of breaking a tooth?

Risk equals reward, Steve!

We interrupt this silent film

to bring you a high-speed pursuit.

A warning for our more sensitive viewers...

So far, this chase has been badass.

It's not déjà vu, folks.

You're looking at the white Ford Bronco

previously owned by O. J. Simpson

and stolen this evening

from the Metropolitan Museum of Sports Memorabilia.

Stan, your dad!

The driver has now been identified as Jack Smith,

former jewel thief, bus driver,

and seasonal evil spirit of Christmas.

Oh, here we go!

Oh, they got him!

They got him! Yes!

Right in the face!

Obviously, a tragic end here.

At a time like this, you just hope

The Juice isn't watching.

Oh, my God!

There is so much popcorn on the floor!

This is why we need a dog, Francine.

Aah!

Anyway, if you drop an octave,

it might help you sound less like your mother on the phone.

Why do you have to nitpick every little thing I do?

I'm helping you become a man.

This is what my father did for me and his father did for him.

I'm gonna make a man out of you.

Or die trying!

Aah!

Oh, what a nightmare.

Need something to calm my nerves.

Perhaps some step-sibling porn on the ol' kitchen desktop.

Oh, you're up, too.

It's your grandpa's funeral.

There are so many little details.

Should we wait for Hayley and Jeff

to come back from their camping trip?

Oh, gosh, Hayley.

How 'bout we take lots of pictures,

and if she ever finds out, we show them to her.

Smart.

Okay, imagine you're at the funeral.

You're, what, sad?

But you're also hungry.

- I... - Bagel bites!

Yes!

This funeral's really coming together!

Shouldn't Dad be helping with this?

Oh, no! I'm having fun.

Plus, your dad's been spinning out

since he saw Grandpa Jack get shot to pieces on TV.

Dad! It's 2:00 a.m.!

Jack who?

He didn't say anything about Jack.

Don't these kids have school in the morning?

I'm not avoiding anything.

Can... Can you stop for a second?!

I-I had a bad dream!

Steve, you're killing the vibe here.

This isn't really your scene. These kids are cool.

Stan, put down your big guitar

and talk to your son about your dad.

No! You knew I was all about the music when you married me.

Now, if you'll excuse me, me and my band, Fetus,

have to get back to jacking... get... get jack to jamming...

My dad hated me... back to jamming!

Guys, play "Had a Dad"!

Ahhhhh, wubawuba!

What's going on?

It's officially our anniversary.

I got you something.

It's long and hard and it's in my sleeping bag.

Surprise!

You bought me...

an oar?

Found you. Do you like it?

Do I like it?

- An oar?! - An oar!

Great minds, right?!

We're the great minds!

I can't wait to get this home and really see what it can do.

The sky's the limit!

We could scoot pizzas into those big ovens!

Or we could stir a giant tub of yogurt!

Or we could paddle out on the river!

Totally.

But first, oar fight!

Alright!

Now we can go canoeing.

- Bagel bite? - Hell, yeah!

I gotta say I'm loving this funeral, Frannie.

It's a hit!

It's fun, right?

Dad still isn't here.

Start without him.

That feels weird.

It's my day, and we start when I stay we start!

Thank you for joining us today.

My Grandpa Jack was...

Ahhhh, wubawuba!

- Oh, he had a breakfast gig. - Stop!

I said stop, Jeremy!

Are you kidding me?! You rushed the verse!

- Sorry. - Apology not accepted, Jeremy.

You left us back there!

You le... You left me!

You just sped away!

I was a little kid, man!

What?

I was never good enough for you, and, boy,

did you let me know it!

You ruined everything!

Jeremy!

Jeremy!

No, no, no, no, no, Jeremy!

Wow. Jeremy really up.

Maybe we can lure him out of the van with a surprise.

What does Stan like?

Ooh, how about a trampoline?!

I'm not sure empty trampoline promises are gonna fix this.

Empty? What the f...

I feel so helpless.

What Stan really needed was a chance to forgive Jack,

but that's impossible now.

Not necessarily!

Hi, Chantilly Dubois, world-class medium.

Well, no formal training, of course,

so really more of a medium medium.

We need to throw Stan a séance.

You really think you could get in touch with Jack?

Bless your heart, no. I'm more of a charlatan.

But I do a couple fun things... flickering candles,

little magnets to make stuff wiggle.

Sorry, how is this helpful?

Stan only has to believe we can contact spirits.

I tell him Jack says sorry.

Stan can finally forgive his dad. Boom!

We each have the rest of the afternoon to do our own thing.

I don't know. This...

This whole thing could backfire and leave Dad even worse off.

I say let's risk it.

Who cares, right?

What the hell is this?

I thought you said we got a trampoline.

- Ohh, did you promise him a... - Not now.

Stan, please sit down.

I sense someone close to you died.

Your... dad.

- I'm not doing this. - Please, Stan!

Jack's death was hard on everyone.

We just want to find some closure, for all of us.

Spirit realm, hear our call!

Let our voices guide you through the veil

so you may move among us.

Look at the salt go!

- Roger. - Fine.

We call on Jack Smith.

Please commune with us!

Welp, we tried. I'm out.

Stan.

Dad! It's you.

Oh, shit, I might be the real deal.

There's so much I want to say to you.

What are you wearing?

I'm dead a week and you start dressing

like a lesbian Raider fan?!

Dad! I'm trying to forgive you!

Aw, you've been crying, Shirley Temple?

Your makeup's running.

I told you this could backfire, Roger.

Get rid of him.

Leave him alone! Shoo!

I'm goin', I'm goin'! You think I wanna be here?

I should be rubbin' my wood on the Pearly Gates about now.

Oof!

Okay, nobody panic, but it seems I might have

bound Jack's spirit to the house.

Oh, perfect. I'm s... Holy hell, Stan.

With the lights on, I can really drink you in.