Humshakals (हमशकल्स)

He's the worst stand-up comedian.

I cannot believe how much time I've wasted.

He's cracking such pathetic jokes. Who let him in?

Okay, I promise you my next joke will make you crack up.

I tried writing a letter last night..

...with a broken pencil.

But I just couldn't.

You know why?

Anyone?

Anyone?

Anyone?

You?

No?

Because it was pointless.

My three own niece cracks better jokes.

This guy's jokes are pathetic.

Yeah!

Okay. Okay. Okay.

What did one potato say to another on the phone?

'Aloo' (Potato)!

That's rubbish!

What do you call a ghost in a telephone?

A 'Phone-bhooth' (ghost)!

Get out!

Shut up! - You suck!

And now, one of Amitabh Bachchan's famous dialogue.

Ashok, I don't get one thing.

Why do you get yourself humiliated every week?

Why do you have to do this?

It's okay.

I'm still a struggling Stand-up Comedian.

Struggling?

I wish all the strugglers in the world were like you.

Ashok. - Yes, Kumar.

We've been best friends since second Grade.

No one ever laughed on your jokes back then.

And still no one does.

Take my advice.

Stand-up comedy isn't your cup of tea.

Then is it my saucer?

Look at this.

Look at this. This is who you are?

You're Ashok Singhania.

Your company's worth billions of Dollars.

You're such a wealthy man.

Why do you need to do standup comedy?

Because it's my passion.

Anil Ambani.

In spite of being such a big businessman.

He puts on his shorts every year..

...and runs the marathon like a common man.

Why? Because that's his passion.

Bill Gates. The king of Computers.

But he knits, makes sweaters. Why?

Because that's his passion.

So chill out, buddy. I am not quitting my business.

My bad comedy isn't affecting the Singhania Company shares.

We just had a bad day.

The next show will be mind-blowing. Come on.

You love me, right?

Yes.

You trust me?

Yes.

Would I ever take you for a ride?

Never

Good.

Let's go home.

Pilot, take us for a ride. - Oh, Come on!

You can't be doing this. - Come on, it's good joke.

This is a terrible joke.

Good evening, sir. - Good evening, Mishti.

How was the show, sir? - Show!

The show was fantastic! Much better than last time.

This time only 15 people walked out.

Because there were only 15 people in the audience.

Don't listen to him. I am very happy.

In fact, I am so happy.-

...I think I'll give you a raise.

Really, sir? - You deserve it, Mishti.

You're not just my estate manager..

...but, you're like a sister to me.

But right now, come inside the house man!

Baby, I've told you a million times.

I don't understand Bengali! Okay!

Fine, then this Bengali won't marry you.

I love Howrah Bridge.

I love Bappi Da.

I love Mithun Da. I love Mishti Doi (Curd).

I love you, Mishti.

Sorry!

Come on.

OK3Y-

Sir, I need your signature.

Thanks.

Good evening, sir.

Any change in dad's condition?

No, sir.

Good evening, sir.

What's up, dad?

What's wrong?

You didn't go out today again.

Come on, dad.

This isn't your age to lie down.

You should be playing golf, going clubbing.

Handling your business empire.

I am not saying that I cannot handle this business empire.

It's just that

you handle it much better.

So get well soon, dad.

I miss you.

How about a new joke?

Ashok.

He's already in coma.

Bye, dad.

Catch you later.

If a girl called Sandra is married to a 'Saand' (Bull)..

...can we call her Sandra Bullock.

Here we go. Why are 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 afraid of 7?

AnybOdY-

AnybOdY-

Because 78 9!

1 s (ate) 9!

Let's get out of here. - Ate 9.

Ate 9.

This really is stand-up comedy.

People are standing up and leaving.

OK3Y-

If my shoe pops out while I am sneezing..

...can I say I lost 'A-shoe'.

Stop. Stop. Stop.

I can't breathe.

You're very funny.

And you're very beautiful.

Thank you for laughing.

By the way, I am Ashok.

Ashok Singhania.

The Ashok Singhania!

I always thought Billionaires..

...don't have a sense of humor.

They don't.

This is my best friend, Kumar.

Hi. - Hi.

I am Shanaya. - Shanaya!

That's a beautiful name. - Thank you.

Do you live in London? - Yes, of course.

I work for Channel 9.

I'm a reality show host. 'Kaun Banega Millionaire!'

Where we randomly pick a common man..

...from the street and make him a Millionaire for a week.

Oh, wow! - Sounds like an interesting concept.

It is.

From now on I'll never miss this show.

So sweet.

So, Ashok, when is your next show?

When are you free?

He'll come and perform.

You guys are so witty.

And you're so Churchgate.

V.T Churchgate.

She gets me, man.

Really nice to meet you.

And you. - Okay. Bye, then.

Wait, Shanaya.

Would you like to have breakfast with me?

I've been invited for lunch and dinner before..

...but for breakfast, never.

Exactly. So?

Yeah, sure. Why not?

Okay, I'll call you.

Call me.

I'll call you.

Call me.

I'll call you.

Call me.

I'll call you.

I'll call you.

Call how? You didn't take her phone number.

Oh my, God!

Shanaya.

Shanaya.

Your number...

Matches are really made in heaven.

An ape has got an angel.

"Caller tune baby."

"Caller tune baby."

"Caller tune baby."

"Caller tune baby."

"Caller tune baby."

"Caller tune baby."

"Caller tune baby."

"Caller tune."

"Make me your caller tune, darling."

"Every time I see you I am over the moon, darling."

"I love you, come summer, winter or monsoon, darling."

"I've never seen anyone more beautiful than you."

"Your every posture is magical."

"The glow on your face inebriates me."

"I have no control over my heart in spite of being rational."

"You intoxicate me."

"You are my passion."