Double Parked

- This is so much harder... - than I thought it would be.

- We don't need to be doing this. - We could be lying down.

Instagram said that the water was gonna be helpful for the baby.

It was making it much, much harder.

- Hello! - Hi.

Old ladies keep giving me the evils, man.

Do you think this lane's for ladies aged 80 years and over or something?

Makes me wanna just piss in the pool and get right out.

- That's enough aquanatal for us. Abandon. - Let's get out; let's get out.

OK.

Steph, let's go!

I am coming. God!

You'd think the fact that Nat is very pregnant would remind her

that I am also very pregnant and can't just leave the house at the drop of a hat.

She forgot to pack my lactation cookies. Classic.

- Hey, anything you need, we can just drop it off to you. - Ah, no, you can't,

- because I don't know where I will be. It's a surprise. - Well, brace yourself.

- So, no getting up to any mischief while we're gone. - No chance of that happening.

What?

Oh, like, with Lily and I - Getting into trouble together.

Yeah. I mean, all we're gonna do is just, you know, throw a little party in your bedroom,

200 people, you know, and go through your stuff.

- You better go. - You're kidding, though, about the party, eh?

I mean, you know, actually, throw a party. Throw it! Throw a party.

But maybe just, like, get a cleaner afterwards.

- I mean, I am still fun, though. I promise. - OK, bye!

- Bye. - Bye.

- Do you wanna make out? - Yeah.

I cannot work out where you're taking me.

Oh my God. Planning a surprise for a super planner is no easy feat. I've had to set up decoys.

Well, is it gonna be much longer? Because if so, I may need to stop for the bathroom.

Put this on.

- Oh no. - Oh, come on, put it on. It's part of it.

- I'm not going to. No, no. - Come on!

Babe, I have watched way too many true crime podcasts to feel comfortable wearing a blindfold

- while you drive me to a secret location. - Oh my God.

I don't have the energy to shower, let alone to murder you and dispose of your body. Come on.

OK. OK.

However, if you ask me to put any kind of lotion on my skin,

then I'm taking this off,

and I'm walking home.

Never have I ever bought contents insurance.

Oh my God. This game is so boring when you're in your 30s, isn't it? Hard.

OK, OK.

OK. Johnny...

we need to mix this up.

The next 12 hours for us are critical, you know?

You know, I just feel like you and me - We need to have, like, a committed blow-out

before these babies arrive and everyone starts getting all responsible, you know?

It's like... we need to drink more!

- All right, and where are we drawing the line? - Um, I don't know.

I wanna break the law. I wanna break the law. Yeah.

And I wanna... Ooh, I wanna jaywalk with you.

- I wanna maybe try some arson. - Ooh. Oh, wow. Jesus, OK.

- I wanna vandalise. - You wanna vandalise? - I wanna vandalise you.

Yes. Yes.

- Yes, yes, yes? - Yeah, go for it.

- Yeah? - Yeah, and this.

- Yep- Oh! Yeah, wow. - Oh!

- What about...? - Oh, not that. No. That's precious.

- Yeah. No, no, not that one. - That's my favourite. I'm sorry.

- What about, um...? - No, no, Lily. Lily!

No, no, no. Oh, sh...!

Yeah.

And I just feel like we're wearing way too many clothes, right,

to be childless, irresponsible adults, you know?

And, like, we should just take it all off.

- Just get everything off, you know? - Take that.

- Just... God, these are tight. - Yeah, sorry.

- It's OK. Just one and off. - Yeah, three, two, one.

- Go. - Yeah.

Oh yeah.

- Oh, have we...? - Yeah.

- Have we stopped? We're there? - Hold on, hold on.

- Just follow the sound of my voice. - OK. - OK.

- Just come out here. - OK.

- All right, now, just- just- - Just wait there one sec.

- And no peeking, OK? - OK.

Doesn't sound particularly remote.

Babe? Sorry, I don't wanna ruin this moment, but I do still need to pee.

'Shit.' Uh...

- Is everything all right? - Back entrance. Shit.

Um, just a little, slight,

uh, variation to the plan.

So just...

- if you just wanna take my- take my hand? - Yeah.

- And we'll just go for a little walk. - Oh, OK.

You can take your blindfold off in three, two, one!

Ta-da!

- Are we at Eden Park? - Surprise!

- Like- Like the stadium? - Yeah. You wanted a glamping experience.

It was close to the city, so...

And we are at a stadium.

Yeah. They have VIP glamping experiences here.

- Oh, like- like, in there? Like, in the stadium? - In New Zealand's premier stadium.

Huh! Wow!

- You hate it, don't you? - Oh, no, no.

- I think I'm just a bit- I'm just surprised. - Yeah, that's what you wanted.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I think- I think I said I wanted a surprising, relaxing trip away somewhere.

- Yeah, this is a surprise. So... - This is a stadium.

Yeah, this...

this is...

Yeah. What's more surprising than a stadium?

You know what? Let's just go inside, and then it will all make sense. You'll- You'll get it.

You'll get it.

Oh!

Oh my God.

- See? We're not sleeping on a field. - No, we are not. We're sleeping in a corporate box.

Yeah. Look, normally you have to hoard wealth and not pay taxes

- to even get a room like this. - Is there a bathroom in here? - Um, no, but there is a whiteboard.

- You love those. And a selection of sparkling waters. - I'm really busting,

- so I'm gonna go find one. - Ooh! Lovely sparkling...

This is so cool.

This is pretty cool.

Aww, Eden Park staff, you shouldn't have.

'Dear Steph and... Nathan.' Oh. 'Happy babymoon.'

So close.

Oh, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on.

Oh God. Oh God!

Oh God!

Oh.

Mm.

That was good. You want some?

Hm?

Baby, where are you? I wanna do a cheers.

I pissed myself.

- You what? - Yeah, on the way to the toilet.

I didn't make it in time, and I pissed myself like a child.

- I'm- I'm sorry. - Are you laughing?

That's kind of objectively funny. I mean, I feel like this happens, right?

Like, this is a thing that happens. Or at least that's what people say.

- Um, how much piss are we talking? - Nat, I don't know how else I can tell you this.

- Like, I am a 3-year-old. I did a huge pee pee on the floor. - Sorry. That was fun...

- That was a joke. Are you laughing? - I need... a change of pants.

OK. OK. Yeah, I'm on it.

I'm on it.

Right, OK.

Banana.

Um...

No.

I can sort it.

Steph!

- Nat? - Steph?

- Can you see my hands? - There's a lot of toilets. Oh. Yes.

- Did you bring me some pants? - I sure did.

What are these?

Um, they are...

You're gonna love this - limited edition Eden Park trackpants, babe.

The shop was open. They did a limited run apparently of those.

They got them for the opening of the south wing. I got you an XL.

Although they should really have, like, a maternity line in this day and age, you know,

cos pregnant woman watch sports. Those actually look really good.

- You look hot! - Please don't. - Oh.

You forgot to bring a change of clothes for me, didn't you?

I didn't factor in one of us pissing ourselves, so, yeah, I did not bring pants.

- Great - Oh, come on, babe.

I want to permanently delete this from my memory.

Ooh, damn!

They are sodden.

- Oh my God. Oh my God. - So do you think we go to MOTAT?

- There are people in our box. - Why are there people in our box?

- Hi, guys. - Oh, hi. - Hello!