The Big Scare (La Grande Frousse)

The City of Unspeakable Fear

It's the big scare, it's the big fear Beware the inspector is here,

His name, they say Simon Triquet

His father was in the police, his uncle, nanny and his niece

It was his fate! It was his fate! *DEATH TO PIGS*

He's a nice guy, a tender heart, but just you wait, it's not so hard.

Alas! Alas! Fatalitas!

If criminals get in his way chances are they'll get away

And their accomplices and their accomplices!

We undertakers, gravediggers, we love him with all our heart.

Ah, the good cop! Ah, the good cop!

The ones he pursues step by step, we put away, yessir, you bet

because these fine guys snuff it big time

Triquet crops up, death follows him, and on death's trail we smile and grin.

Hope it lasts! Hope it lasts...

A drunkard, picked up on the public highway.

He's all yours.

I won't miss a round-up for a drunkard.

Antoine, I'll leave him for you.

My cassoulet! I can't leave it. Pass him on to Triquet!

Do you think it's safe? - Oh, what, for a statement...

This way.

M. Triquet! - One moment, please.

Here's a good one.

"The cells like the countryside. You can hear the pigs."

It's for a statement. There's a round-up, you couldn't...

They trust me again. - You have your... personal qualities.

What about my study on police station graffiti?

I thought I was only good for that.

Here's the client. Bye, M. Triquet.

Could I take his fingerprints? - If you want.

No initiatives! - Then I'm not interested.

So... carte blanche!

A statement... A new experience.

What joy!

How sad...

Poor man. To put yourself in such a state.

Just think, I can draw up a report on this fine fellow, no holds barred.

Most unfair.

OK, I'll still take your fingerprints.

It's messy but it's fun.

But he's suffocating, the poor man!

Deep breath!

He's all sweaty. He'll catch a cold when he gets out of here.

Hey, rascal!

I'm not going to strip him naked. Rest assured.

That's out of the ordinary.

Sergeant, come and see! - And my cassoulet!

It'll burn. And spoil the pan.

I'll bring him to you.

There... there.

It's curious indeed.

It's not hot.

My cassoulet!

And this drunk is chilly. Interesting.

Chilly! Who asked your opinion!

Damn, the cops! And cassoulet! I hate cassoulet!

So, last name, first name, profession, date of birth.

My cassoulet! Look what he did with it...

Bloody hell! But it's...

I'm sorry, but I haven't been able to complete my statement yet.

You did better, Triquet!

You arrested Mickey the Benedictine. Counterfeiter and murderer.

But, sir, I had nothing to do with it. A simple statement...

Well done, Triquet! Bind the guy for the scaffold!

Well done!

What? Monsieur risks... - Yes... my head.

And we won't put parsley in your nostrils.

You can't do that to him because of me!

Really you can't!

It's awful.

It would be even more awful if we were in his shoes.

And all because of me. - No unnecessary sentimentality!

One brute less is a godsend.

It's freezing? - And he who's always chilly.

I beg your pardon, sir. - I have something to say:

I hate cops and the worst of all is you.

Take it up. Unbelievable!

It's not jammed since Louis XVI. I'll check it out.

Hurrah! It works!

- He's... He's... off! - Poor executioner...

No, not the executioner, Mickey the Benedictine.

He made a fine getaway, the Benedictine. - And now we can't execute him.

Yes, one strike and that's it, if I might say. - That's the custom.

Unless he commits a new crime. - Poor fellow, he must be warned.

You'll take care of it? - Yes.

Damn it! I'll have him. I'll ask for a special mission.

I'll accompany you. - Oh no! not you.

Sorry... he's my client and I have rights over him.

I can ask my uncle to arrange this for us.

It's true, you, the old boy's network. You bourgeois.

While me, I'm a self made man.

I am a "no man's land".

Gentlemen, you are on a mission to arrest Mickey the Benedictine.

Like any self-respecting criminal,

he will return to the scene of his crimes.

As a result, you will search for him in the 5 towns of France

where he made counterfeit money.

Inspector Virgus, I entrust Inspector Triquet to you,

who I love like a brother since he is my nephew

and like a son since he is my sister's.

Thank you uncle. - Commissioner! - And be careful, eh.

Come in.

Three towns down and nothing.

From 5, remove 3, there are 2 left.

That's it, Barges and Tourlieu.

The circle is tightening. Suffice it to say that Mickey...

Is cooked.

But he will no longer ascend the scaffold.

Mistake! I'm sure he's already committed a new crime.

You can bet your life on it.

Why all these lives at stake.

Barges in... ten... ten minutes.

And Mickey the Benedictine? How long?

It's a question of deciding Barges or Tourlieu?

Woodcock or trout?

I prefer Tourlieu and trout.

We're going to draw lots. - But I don't like hunting.

Me, I prefer fishing!

Let's not go into this... Draw a card!

Oh lucky guy, he won! You get off at Barges.

Here's your gun. And for me the fishing rods!

You lucky devil...

I still have two hours of train to put up with.

Report every night!

You call me at the Hotel du Commerce.

And send me some of the woodcock you killed.

I like them.

A taxi, please?

No more taxis after dark '

What does it mean?!

Curious...

A stranger has just arrived. By the night train.

He's a hunter.

Don't scare me like that.

A hunter... So what, a hunter?!

Nothing but a hunter.

Maybe he's come to hunt the Beast.

Shut up, you wretch! When we talk about it, it makes it come.

Mum's the word. - Calm down.

La Villa des Cyprès, please?

Métèque, the Bargeasque is going to eat you!

The what? - The Beast!

What beast, please? - The BEAST!

A beast... that will eat me?!

What's that?

The beast! The beast!

Daddy don't be afraid, I'm here.

Look out!

You were afraid? - Yes, I thought...

She never hurt anything but the Beast.

Ah, the famous Beast. - Yes. The Bargeasque.

She is Saint Urodèle.

This lady killed the monster long ago, in the old days.

If Madame killed it,

why are people here so afraid of it?

It came back.

Watch out for it.

Good evening, sir.

Thanks for the advice. Good evening, madam, sir.

The gun...

Is this for the Bargeasque?

No, for woodcock and more...

All this is not very Catholic, is it, Mme Urodèle?

What is it?

Your tenant, M. Triquet.

The hunter from Paris? - That's it.

Are you alone? - The one and only.

Nothing in sight? Any strange being?

Your courage isn't to the fore.

I've been in several wars, sir, and I've got medals,

but with this thing lurking...

We'll talk about that tomorrow. I'm tired.

Show me my room! - The top of the stairs, to the right.

And beware of the Beast! - My suitcase...

The beast?

I didn't come here to study natural history.

This newcomer isn't afraid, but just you wait and see.

This nocturnal bustle is not without interest.

Now, now, Mme Urodèle,

M. Paul is interested in this gentleman too.

M. Douve continues to work,

as if nothing has happened.

Look, Saint Urodèle. As one tenant moves in,

immediately another moves out.

A forged note. I've found Mickey.

Hello? Give me 14 at Tourlieu, please.

Quick, it's urgent.

Nice work... This Mickey's a real expert.

Hello? I would like to speak to the inspector...

to M. Virgus.

A gentleman who has just arrived.

He's here, I found Mickey.

For God Sake! Did you arrest him? - Not yet, but I have some clues.

You've got to be kidding. You gave me a fright.

Why a fright? - Mickey's not in Barges but Tourlieu.

I've got clues. - I've got some too.

Mickey's not in Tourlieu but in Barges.

In Tourlieu! What do you bet? - You'll lose. I have proof.

What? - A fake bank note.