The Heroes of Evil (Los héroes del mal)

THE HEROES OF EVIL

Hello... Wanna talk to me?

What kind of question is that?

You could just say you're not interested.

I'm only calling things by their name.

I'm just not good-looking enough to talk to you, right?

Actually, kid, no, you're not that good-looking.

More like really ugly!

That wasn't an insult, OK?

I'm not good-looking, but I'm very interesting.

Christ, what a freak!

Yolanda, you've got yourself a boyfriend!

Look, kid, all you are is a pain in the ass, get it?

Fuckin' bitch.

What did you say?

I'm asking what you said!

Fucking asshole...

Good morning.

First of all, I want to welcome all newcomers to the center.

And to those who aren't new: be careful, I've got my eye on you.

I'll be your tutor, and I'm here to help you, if you let me.

Cos I'm warning you, if you don't make the effort, I'll be your enemy.

And you don't want that, trust me.

But I know this year, you're all going to be very good.

Aren't you?

What are you doing looking at her like that?

You're gonna cut that out, right?

You, I'm talking to you!

And don't look at me like you're mad either! Hear me?

Didn't you hear me?

Stop laughing!

Stop laughing!

Stop laughing!

Stop fuckin' laughing!

Don't laugh, alright?

-Cut it out, you retard! -Cut what out?

Why are you gettin' involved, asshole?

-You've spilled my milk, man! -What milk have I spilled?

-This milk here... -This milk here?

Be careful: your milk's all spilled...

Milk! Milk!

Your milk's getting spilled!

-You want some too? -Yeah, I do! Go on, hit me!

Hit me too! Hey! Look! He's gonna hit me!

I'm not gonna touch you.

I don't know who's crazier... your pal, or you.

Go on, get lost!

Go!

Milk!

What are you, a vigilante?

Vigilante?

No, but they spilled my milk! Didn't you see that?

Yeah, they fuckin' spilled it over me!

You shouldn't have gotten involved. You fucked everything up.

What did I fuck up? You getting the shit kicked out of you?

I was laughing at him.

I don't mind pain.

I was trying to see who could hold out longest,

but you got in the way, came out as the hero,

and now I'm the fuckin' outcast that-

Look, at least they stopped hitting you, you could thank me.

I'm gonna be the fuckin' outcast.

You're not gonna be an outcast cos you got hit once.

That's just bad luck.

Today the reputations get handed out, and I'm fucked, alright?

-What's that about reputations? -It's the first day, right?

Today's the day reputations are handed out, these are reputations.

You don't arrive as the outcast, the bully, or the babe.

All that lot give you your reputation.

There's always gonna be an outcast, right?

And as we're missing a fat, spotty ginger, it's gonna be us.

You and me.

Have you seen any fat gingers?

Over there.

Over there, there's a girl that might fit the bill.

She's not fat or ginger.

I know, but she's alone, and she looks like a dude.

-Check it. -Stop pointing!

All we fucking need is for her to join us!

Listen, thanks for sticking up for me, even if you suck at it.

I'm Aritz.

I'm Esteban.

So, then.

Wanna go to class?

Why did you have a milk carton in your bag?

-That's weird right there. -I like milk.

Plus, I'm still growing.

Sure you are.

And do you only drink milk?

No. Watch it, watch it!

Shit!

Let's go!

Come on.

Now where the hell do we go?

Sons of bitches! How hard can it be to drink a fuckin' beer?

-OK, but where are we going? -Hey...

What's that over there?

This is some fuckin' mess!

Dude, there's someone here.

Yeah, but they died a year ago.

Check it out! Porno mags!

Gimme the beer.

Fuck, man, why didn't you hand me it?

I did, man, why didn't you catch it?

This has alcohol, right?

No fuckin' way, we're not drinking cologne!

Fuck, man, that's disgusting!

Look at this chick, man.

What? She's disgusting!

Don't you like any of them?

All you like is getting beat up, man!

That's why you were laughing at recess.

I told you I was laughing at him.

And if I punch you, you'll laugh at me too, right?

Go on, then, try it. Hit me.

Are you serious?

Sure, I won't get mad, hit me.

You're a fuckin' piece of shit masochist!

I am gonna hit you, though.

How do you do that, man? I wouldn't be able to laugh.

You want some? Want me to hit you?

OK, but not too hard.

Motherfucker!

Listen, do you mind if I hit you again?

Let's continue.

The privileged testaments in the 13th Century.

What are they? Does anyone know?

Isn't this great?

Look at what my student was doing during my class.

Isn't it pretty?

This kind of thing, you can do at home,

or, if you're desperate, the restroom.

Cos I'm guessing you're desperate

if you're doing this kind of thing in my class.

You see, the thing is,

I always say it's better to do something in class than do nothing,

cos you get no one was listening to you, right?

At least I was doing that.

Well, I was listening.

OK, sorry. Doughface was listening.

Doughface!

At least I care! Not like you, sitting there doing nothing!

Leave it, leave it.

If you're bored, you needn't stay.

Get out, and stop wasting time.

-Thanks very much. -And don't come back.

Great! Now you can play with yourself at home!

Anyone else bored?

Hey, Teach? Look, I've got a nice drawing too.

Should I go home too?

Yes, get out.

OK, cool.

And when you see your boyfriend,

tell him neither of you need come to the exam.

The tutor, the bullies... how did we do it in so little time?

They all hate us.

They'll get over it.

Look, at least they won't hit us anymore.

You just stood up to the Sarge. That'll give you props, right?

They're gonna keep fucking with us. I know the score.

They've fucked with me my whole life, and they're gonna keep on doing it.

Let's just wait until they get tired

and find some other loser to have a go at.

Why don't we find one?

Chill out, alright?

What are you doing, man? What the fuck's wrong with you?

What the fuck are you doing? You stupid or what?

Look, I'm sorry about him, but I needed to humiliate someone.

Why? To be as big an asshole as these guys?

That's right, you got it.

Fuckin' stop, you assholes!

Macho Man!

Hey, where are you going?

-To class. -She didn't come.

We're free til next class.

Fucking A.

Listen, we're sorry about the fat guy.

The fat guy? Fuck the fuckin' fat guy!

I try and help the fucking fag and he runs away and knocks me over.

He knocked you over? Holy shit! How come?

I just told you, he's a fucking fag!

Anyway, we're sorry.

Listen, wanna join us?

Join you where?

What are you gonna do?

We're gonna drink, get drunk-

Look, we've no money for booze or anything.

Why do you need money?

What?

Don't be losers, man. You don't need money.

Watch out, there's a camera behind you.

I'll keep lookout. If I cough, you stop.

-Shit! -What's up?

Let's get the fuck outta here.

How many have you caught? What is wrong with you two?

I don't know, whatever we've been able to catch.

-Give me money for the donuts. -I don't have money...

I don’t want to.

Don't be assholes! I need 50 cents.

Put them back.