Dangerous Animals

Looks pretty dead.

Should we just go?

Didn't book, eh?

Thought we'd just try our luck.

Wouldn't recommend it. Especially not you.

Okay, yeah... why's that?

Last group he took out, there was a young fella,

looked like you, college kid.

He was takin' a piss off the side of the boat

and a bull shark jumped up.

Bit his dick off.

Ooh, I don't like your chances.

Tuck only started his holidays today

and he don't interrupt his hols for no one.

- -

Speak of the devil. Here he is.

Milo, shut up!

Mate, you won't need that -

we got some live chum for ya here.

Ah. Who do we have here, then?

Greg.

Tucker. American?

Canadian.

- Ah, lucky escape. -

And this friendly face belongs to?

- Heather. - Ah!

Let her answer for herself, Greg.

I'm Heather.

Heather, lovely. Let me guess. Pom?

Oh! Not bloody supposed to say that anymore, are we?

No, it's fine. Um, English, yes.

Mate, I told 'em you were on hols, Tuck.

Ahh. So, where are you two love birds staying, then?

Oh, we're not together. Um...

Just-just staying at the hostel.

- Okay. - Sorry we didn't book.

We were supposed to go to Sea World

with a bunch of others, but we slept in.

It was a big night.

Yeah, I bet.

Sorry.

So, uh...

I guess no one even knows you guys are here, then?

Why?

Just wanna make sure your last will and testament's in order.

We will be swimming with sharks, after all.

Oh.

Sweet!

So I'm seven years old,

I'm out there on my boogie board,

splashing around in the shallows, you know,

scrawny little arms and legs kinda flapping away.

Swimmin' out there and...

I dunno, I guess from underneath

I must've looked like a seal.

- Fuckin' boom! -

This bloody white gets me.

And it just let you go?

Yeah.

You are looking at a genuine walkin', talkin' miracle.

- Did it hurt? - It didn't tickle.

It didn't tickle.

Woke me up, though. You know?

And I've been wide awake ever since.

And this was just random?

I mean, apparently there was a sign

about a shark sighting or something, but...

Oopsie.

Wasn't there someone watching you?

Well...

Let's just say I used to spend a lot of time on my own.

I just can't believe you do this for a living.

I'd never go near water again after that.

It's not the shark's fault.

- You okay? - Yep.

- It's fine. Yep. - It'll be alright.

It's gonna be a great experience.

Yep.

Alright, crew!

Enough foreplay. Let's, uh, get you two wet.

- Oh... - I got you.

Oh, my God. I can't believe I let you talk me into this.

- -

Oh, it's a mako. Cheetahs of the sea.

I can't do it.

I... I can't do...

Well, not yet you can't.

'Cause there's still one thing we need to take care of.

Now, listen,

this is a very special, ancient relaxation practice

that, uh, was taught to me,

and it took many years at sea to master.

If you'll just go with me here, I promise you it'll help.

- Mm-hm. - Close your eyes.

Take a big, deep inhale.

And out.

And in.

And out.

No...

It only works if you sing along.

I can't.

Here comes Mummy...

- -

[soft, wondrous orchestral music builds]

- -

Oh, my God, that was amazing!

Shits all over Sea World, eh?

You can say that again.

Yeah, something to tell the grand kid dies one day.

Dude, so awesome.

Yeah.

Oh, man, thanks so much for fitting us in.

- -

Welcome aboard.

["Dancing With Myself" by The Donnas plays]

- -

Should be there. Did you look where I said?

Yeah, I looked. I can't find the jumper cables.

Oh, must be out, then. Sorry.

Don't suppose you have any?

Nup.

What's up?

Hey. How's it going?

Cracker day out there, eh?

- Hey. Me again. -

Yeah, dude, I said I can't help you.

Look, you really don't have jumper cables? For this?

What can I say? I live life on the edge.

I think the cashier might want to see that security footage.

Are you serious?

Is this really what you're doing? You're blackmailing me.

I just need to get to my car. I've walked, like, ten blocks and I can't find any.

I'm not a serial killer, okay?

Promise.

["Hey Now" by The Regrettes plays over stereo]

Aisle or window?