Mr. Right

Now, Louise, before we begin recording,

perhaps we could just have a little chat.

Yeah, I think that's a good idea.

Louise, do you think that perhaps you're being

just a little demanding in your requirements?

Because we did have very high hopes for you and Paul,

and I seem to remember him saying that he was really quite smitten.

I don't think my requirements were that demanding.

That of course is entirely your opinion,

but we feel that he did fulfill all your specifications.

So, tell me,

what is it that we can supply this time

that we didn't supply last time?

What am I looking for that's different from last time?

Let me see.

I know.

I'd like a boyfriend that's not gay.

* Twice upon a time

* The princess kissed the prince

* And missed the point

I think you must have made some kind of mistake.

Paul Bradbury is not gay.

Well, maybe he isn't, but I know for a fact

that the man he dumped me for is.

* Everything is

* Everything is crazy-strange

* And very real

* Close your eyes

* Make up your mind

* And take your time

* I'll always be there

* Maybe Mr. Right

* Is hidden, undiscovered

* Pressed for time

* I'll bet he's coming out tonight

* He's all right

* There's up and there's down

* And there's no way around

* What he's hiding

* Breaking the rules

* Is amazingly cool

* You're invited

* Everything is

* Everything is crazy-strange

* And very real

* Close your eyes

* Make up your mind

* And take your time

* I'll always be there

* Everything is

* Everything is

* Everything is

* Everything

* Everything is

* Everything

* Everything is

* Everything

* Everything is

* Everything

* Everything is

* Everything

* Everything is

* Everything

You're old enough to know better.

Anytime you want to use your parenting skills, it's fine by me.

* One more time

We've all heard about women this has happened to, haven't we?

And if we're honest,

we think it's a bit of a joke.

I mean, you'd know, wouldn't you?

But I didn't,

and I'm used to being around gay people.

I've learnt my lesson.

I'd never introduce my man to my gay friends again.

But I don't mind introducing you to my friends--

Well, at least I thought that they were my friends.

This is my Alex, my best friend.

He wanted to be an actor.

He'd been with Harry for a year.

In fact, it was their anniversary.

Harry was all right,

but he could be a bit... smarmy.

Just kept him happy by buying him things.

And here's Tom.

Tom was about to have a major exhibition,

but he was more concerned about keeping Lars happy.

Lars is very good looking, but he knew it.

You know the type.

He'd got expensive tastes,

but it was always someone else

who picked up the bill.

And William--

William had a tough time over the last few years,

but he was coming out the other side,

and he'd just met Lawrence.

Lawrence is an actor,

so you can imagine what a handful he was.

You'd recognize him.

He was in that doctors thing.

I thought I was the one out of all my friends

who had got it sorted.

So let me tell you what happened to me one day last summer.

I was going on my first proper date with Paul.

I thought he was perfect.

* It's over

Let's go. Let me see 6,

let me see 5, let me see 4.

3. Where's 2? Where's 1?

Let's flip, baby! Let's go!

3, 2, 1.

Get up! Go! Move, move, move!

Let me see that! Let me see that!

Move the feet, quick! Quick! Quick!

Ready to do it again? Let's go!

All right. Fly jumps. You can do it.

Push me up, pull me down.

To the 5, to the 4, to the 3.

Stay with me. 2.

1. Good man.

That's what I'm talking about.

Good to see. Right? Good man.

Hi, Louise.

Yeah, yeah.

Listen, I'm stuck in traffic.

I- it's not moving.

I reckon I'm gonna have to turn around and go back.

I was really looking forward to fitting your kitchen.

Yeah, listen, the battery on my phone's running low.

I'll give you a call next--

Hello?

Thought you were fixing Louise's washing machine.

Still waiting for a part.

Have another one.

I thought you might have had enough.

You know me. I've never had enough.

Better make sure I don't.

Is that a threat?

Take it any way you want.

I'll take it as a threat, then.

I'll get my stuff and I'll be out of here.

It's not a threat. I'm really sorry. I've just had a hard day.

I'm going now.

Luv!

Tom sees the good in people.

Sees the good in people?

What he sees is a good bit of ass

that he wouldn't stand a chance with

if he didn't have a Gucci store card.

Anyway, getting back to me.

Harry bought me the original artwork

for the 1977 Dalek annual.

It's like the Bible of Doctor Who fans.

All right?

Fine. I can't stop. I've got a meeting.

I wasn't trying to hold you up.

That's all right, now, isn't it?

Isn't that that Greek doctor from Emergency Accident?

He's only a nurse.

How do you know him? Have you... You know?

As if!

He went out with one of my exes.

He's been around forever. I knew him when he was on the dole.

Sorry. Got held up in the edit.

How'd the audition go? Don't want to talk about it.

What's the matter with you?

Lawrence Wright's upstairs.

Very Greek name, isn't it?

There are hardly any roles for Greeks as it is,

so why should he get the part above a real one?

Why are you bothered? You're not Greek.

I'm not bothered. I'm not bothered at all.

You write to point of view?

Someone has to stand up for Greek actors.

Do you want me to beat him up for you?

Yes, please. How are you, darling?

She's all right. Come on. We're going to be late.

Hello, how are you?

You don't phone, you don't write.

I've been frantic. Give me a break.

Visiting my mother.

Which we're late for.

Then we get a nice meal.

Just my luck. Our anniversary's on the same day

as his bloody mother's birthday. Congratulations.

We must arrange a Sunday lunch. Bring George.

Don't mention George. Got 3 days' peace.

See you later.

See you. Bye.

Bye-bye, baby. Bye, darling.

Yeah, can you stop off on your way and get time out?

Will you?

* Dolce and Gabbana

* I cannot even say it

* I'll tell you right now it's on my wish list

* Whoa-oh

* You're gonna pay for it

* So you better get rich

* I'm sick of being High Street like everybody I meet

* Ultimately trendy

* Boys wearing girls' shoes