Almost Christmas

It's a beautiful Birmingham morning

and the holiday season looks merry and bright.

Are you ready for the holidays?

Not me.

Man, I got five kids.

Four of them are mine.

Allegedly.

Have you been naughty? Or have you been nice?

So many people coming into town.

What about you?

You got family or friends coming to town?

Me?

I hope it's not my in-laws.

Unless they're listening.

If so, I can't wait to see ya!

On the way, a little music to get you in the holiday spirit.

Merry Christmas!

Yeah.

All right.

Here we go.

I'm sorry. I need to take this. Here.

Daddy, what's going on? Your message sounded urgent.

I can't find that tin of hers.

The ones with Mama's recipes?

Yeah.

They're where the pots and pans are, Daddy.

You're not trying to cook, are you?

Not without those recipes, I'm not.

Okay, good.

Now, don't drive yourself too crazy with it, all right?

You know how you can get.

I can't wait to see you all.

Even your sister?

I can count on you two to be civil with each other, right?

Yeah, of course. I can't wait to see Rachel.

I'll be civil with her as long as she's civil with me.

You know, I'm looking forward to it.

Rach, can I please finish what I'm saying?

Look, I'm just saying that we all want to spend as much time as we can with Dad.

What's wrong with me trying to get you there faster?

I'm not some charity case.

Just because I'm in law school doesn't mean I can't afford to buy plane tickets.

That's exactly what it means.

We talked about this.

Ma'am? Yes?

This tire's got a hole in it.

Just put on the spare.

You mean, one of the two you're already using?

Hey! Yeah, I gotta go.

Well, there's always the bus.

Why?

Promise me you are not gonna be on that phone the entire holiday.

I'm not. That was Rach.

And you do realize I'm in the middle of a campaign, right?

Yes, and I support you.

Give me that bunny!

No!

Slow, please.

But family time is important too, which is why you have a campaign manager.

Besides, it's only a week.

Promise me we'll have fun at your dad's.

Promise.

Family time.

I was cutting it off.

I thought you were getting here last night?

Well, coach dropped another practice on us, but I'm on my way now.

All right, all right. Just drive safe.

And none of that Tweetbooking, or Faceprogramming

or Snap whatever that is, okay?

Dad, it's... 88.

I gotta go. Yeah. I'ma see you soon.

Okay. I love you.

Love you too, Pops. No, stay down. Stay down.

Got an early Christmas gift.

Shoulder's good as new. Yes!

You can finally get off those meds and back on the field

because you've been cleared for the bowl game!

Yes!

Yo, 88 is back in the building, man!

Yeah. Thank you, Coach.

Listen, I am really proud of all the hard work you've been putting in lately.

Thanks.

And I know that this is gonna be your first holiday at home since...

Coach, you know what?

I'm really good. I'm good.

All right. Happy holidays.

Yeah, same.

All right. Listen up, everyone.

I don't want you pigging out over the holidays.

Gotta win this thing.

Come on, Coach. It's Christmas!

I love how the ring just glimmers.

See? When the light hits it?

I was a champion in Croatia.

You know I played in the NBA also?

1991, Seattle SuperSonics.

I made the last shot in the playoffs.

They called me Lonnie "Shatao" Maclay.

You know what Shatao is?

Shatao is the sound that the ball makes when it goes through the net.

Shatao! Like, Shatao!

So, would you like a mid-size or a sedan?

Could I get a little help here, Lonnie, huh?

A sedan!

What are you talking about over there?

Will you help me with the bags?

Here's a little early Christmas gift.

Could be worth a lot of money on eBay.

But let it marinate.

Okay. Okay?

Lonnie!

Did you bring those damn cards?

Shatao!

Your face.

Yeah.

Shit!

Yeah!

Oh, man.

I'm trying.

May Devaroux, Johnson, Davis...

Shit, there was a lot of them.

I am here. And how's my favorite brother-in-law doing?

May, I'm your only brother-in-law.

Well, lucky you!

Damn, I forgot how old you are.

Come on, give it to me.

How you doing, baby?

It's coming.

It's coming.

You holding on?

I'm holding on.

You holding on, baby.

Yeah, I was expecting you in a day, or two, or three...

If I'd have known, I would have...

Dusted. Damn, Walter!

Changed the locks.

Your ass is old, so I'm gonna let that one slide.

Now, I just thought my brother-in-law could use a little extra help

so I said, what the hell.

And Stevie Wonder blind ass done canceled the tour

because they gave him the schedule.

Who gonna give his blind ass the schedule? Damn!

Messing with my money, baby.

But such is the life of a background singer.

Now, listen, my bags are in the driveway so be a dear and go get them for me.

And I'ma whip a little something up

so the kids have something to eat when they get here.

Perfect. As long as I don't have to eat it.

Walter Meyers, you can kiss all my ass, okay?

You know the shit I cook is good shit. Don't do that now.

You've been eating that bad shit. That's why your ass looks so frail.

Look at yourself. Knees knocking and shit.

And where's the liquor, Walter?

And I hope it ain't that dark liquor, damn it.

Because that dark liquor make a bitch wanna fight!

Pop-pop!

We made it!

Hi, Grandpa! Hi!

You're even prettier than I last saw you.

Yeah! How do you do that?

I don't know.

How you doing, Granddad?

You still hitting those books, I see. Yes, sir.

Yes, he got six A's and one B.

The B was in gym.

When your Uncle Evan gets here, he can help you out with that.

Grandpa, can I go inside and get some cookies?

Of course you can!

Cameron! Just one. Just one! I want some too!

It'll be fine. Just, come on. Honey?

He's always working. Give me a second.

Sweetheart!

Hey! Hey! Hey! Pop!

Man, don't do that.

Aw!

How are you, Pop?

I'm a little tired, but a lot better seeing you all.

Oh, my God! ls that...

Christian, you promised. Family time.

No, no. That's what this will... That's what this is.

He's here so that I won't have to be on the phone as much.

Which gives me more time for family. Oh, my God.

Andy Brooks. Pleasure to meet you, sir.

He's my campaign manager, Pop.

Boy, you have raised a very promising, young, future congressman

and his beautiful wife, who you didn't raise.

You raised him. He's your son.

Hope that doesn't come as a surprise to you.

I didn't know you're campaigning over the holidays.

These cookies are amazing!

Give me that.

Hey, Cameron. Take your aunt's luggage in. There.

That's a lot of luggage.

Probably half of them are wigs.

Hey, and take yours in.

We're staying here?

Mmm-hmm. Yay!

Hold on, son. We're not staying here. We're staying at a hotel.

We are staying at the hotel?

I thought we were. I assumed. Let me talk.