Red Oaks

Hey, buddy. I ain't got nothing about this rig.

You're gonna have to take it someplace... else.

What the hell?

Hmm.

Not bad.

Some of your framing's a little bit obvious.

Cuts are jumpy, but that's to be expected

from an amateur like yourself.

Well, I cut it in the camcorder.

Not finished.

But overall, you got a decent eye.

Thanks.

You're hired.

Cool.

Purely on a trial basis, of course.

Of course.

Sunday, 3 PM sharp.

And don't forget to wear a suit.

You know what? I think this is going to be really good for you.

Yeah, well, we're just trying things out on a trial basis,

seeing how well we work together.

I think Barry can end up being a really good mentor.

Look at this. This is going to be us some day,

all old, wrinkly, and adorable.

Uh, how about this one?

The 400 Blows?

I'm not watching porn.

It's not porn. It's a classic.

Classic, yeah.

But, since you mention it...

No.

Oh, yeah. Let's do it.

- Stop. No, I... - Let's go.

Everybody's going to judge us.

I don't like that.

Dad?

David.

This... This isn't the Westerns section.

No.

Then why are there saloon doors?

What the hell is this?

Oh, it's called a smoothie.

It smells like grass clippings.

Wow, look at you.

Hi, handsome.

You're not eloping, are you?

I'm videoing a wedding at the club.

Oh, you're friends with the groom?

This is a favor or something?

No, it's a gig, right, honey?

That's what you call it, right?

Oh, uh, job. Just job.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

So you're getting paid for this?

Uh, yeah. $75.

I got to run.

- Okay. - Bye.

Bye.

Think he gets his artistic side from me.

Yeah, that's right, Mrs. Picasso.

What are you all gussied up for?

Do you ever listen?

I told you.

Margo and I are going to the community college

to learn about the real estate classes.

You're going to sell houses?

Yeah. Maybe I am.

Could we not use the extra money?

Mm.

It's Hanukah in June, my friend.

I didn't know Hanukah was in June.

It's in December, you putz.

How is it my fault if he cuts me off?

Because it is not worth getting into an accident.

Good morning, Mr. Getty, sir.

Walker, here you go.

- It's Wheeler. - Whatever.

Hurry up, darling. We're gonna be late.

Yes, Mother.

I don't know why you had to wear such a gloomy dress.

It's a wedding, not a funeral.

Is there a difference?

Where does she get all this anger?

Seriously?

I need a white Zin.

Don't fart in it.

Hey.

Whoa.

What's wrong with this picture?

Dude must have a foot-long dong.

Kind of looks like you, Wheeler.

Plus ten years.

Minus the dong.

Get back to work.

I need you to run these lenses out to my El Camino.

Okay.

And do not scratch the paint.

- I won't. - And hurry back.

- No taking a break. - I wasn't...

Go.

Boychik! Oy, you clean up nice.

Thanks. I didn't know you'd be here.

Are you kidding me?

The Kornblatts and I are like that.

This must be costing a bundle.

Alan can afford it.

You do know who he is, right?

Barry said he's a cardiologist.

That's basically a side business.

No, all of this was paid for by Yogurt Whimsy.

The place next to Super Cuts?

And Crown Books and Kay-Bee Toys,

and a dozen other locations throughout North Jersey.

He's even hinted there may be franchise opportunities

for a few select close friends.

You like frozen yogurt?

God, no. Nobody does except for fatties and 14-year-olds.

But I like money, and Alan likes me.

Yeah. And Skip.

Excuse me, David.

I have a reception to win.

Dr. Kornblatt,

beautiful day for some nuptials, isn't it?

Is that periwinkle blue?

Bold choice.

I'm never getting married, man.

Yeah? Why not?

Because it's, like, unnatural.

Humans aren't supposed to mate for life.

Says who?

- Monkey scientists. - Oh, yeah?

I read it somewhere.

Guess who funds their research.

- Who? - The American Bar Association,

that's who. Before lawyers came along,

the word "divorce" didn't even exist in the English language.

They invented the concept the same way Hallmark invented Mother's Day.

Hallmark invented Mother's Day?

Not even.

You are a schmuck. Hold my drink.

- Hey. - Hey.

I wanted to return your cassette.

Did you like it?

Oh, yeah.

- Awesome. - It's good.

- -

Uh...

Oh. That's pretty fancy.

Oh, yeah.

I've never been in one of those before.

- No? - Uh-uh.

Hey, come on. What are you doing?

- Come on, really? - Go ahead.

- No. - Go ahead.

- Really? - Get in.

- I'll get in trouble. - No, no.

Oh, my God.

Rizzo, be my lookout.

All right.

Yeah. This is one more thing I can cross off my list:

get baked in the back of a limo.

What about you? What's on your list?

I always thought it would be cool

to, like, start a cult.

Yeah.

That would.

Okay. Yeah, but really, what...

like, where do you see yourself in five years?

- Five years? - Yeah.

I mean, I... I can hardly imagine myself

five months from now,

except that it'll be November,

so I'll probably need a sweater.

What else is on your list?

I don't know.

Normal stuff.

Get married, have kids.

Like, little LeFevres?

God, no.

- Really? - No.

You don't think you...

you two will end up together?

No way.

For one thing,

Misty LeFevre sounds

like a Staten Island stripper.

Right?

Yeah.

Also, I'm also not going to make

the same mistake my ma did

and marry some jerk-off with 12 bucks to his name.

No?

No.