Slumdog Millionaire

Good evening! Namaskaar, Sasrakaar, Aadaam.

Welcome to "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"!

Are you ready?

Yes.

- Please give a big round of applause to... - Good Luck Kid -...a very first contestant of the night

Jamal Malik from our very own... Aarmchi Mumbay!

Hello, let's play.

Smile, you'll be fine.

Name.

Motherfucker, name!

Jamal... Malik.

You have a name. Good. Stop, crying.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, thank you. Thank you, very much.

Uh, so, Jamal...

tell me something about yourself.

I work in a call-center...

- ...in Juhu. - Good.

A phone basher..

And what type of call-center should that be?

XL5 mobile phones.

So you are the one who calls me up

every single day of my life with special offers, huh?

No, actually I am an assistant.

An assistant phone basher?

And what does an assistant phone basher do exactly?

I get tea for people and...

Chaiwalla? A chaiwalla!

Well, ladies and gentlemen,

Jamal Malik... one who serves hot tea from Mumbay,

let's play "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?"!

So, has he confessed yet?

Except his name I could not get anything out of the runt.

You have been here the whole bloody night, Srinivas. What have you been doing?

He's a tough guy.

A little electricity will loosen his tongue, give him.

Yes sir.

Ok, so were you wired up?

Mobile phone or a pager?

Or coughing accomplice in the audience?

Or microchip under your skin, huh?

The chip is not here.

Not here? Ok, leave it. Leave it.

It's hot, and my wife is giving me hell.

I've got a desk full of murderers, rapists,

extortionists, bomb bandits, and you.

So why don't you save us both a lot of time

and tell me how you cheated.

Mmm... Hmm.

I'm done sir.

Now listen.

Hello!

He's is unconscious, fucker. What good is that?

How many times have I told you, you should once...

I'm sorry sir.

Good, good, good Srinivas...

Now we'll have Amnesty International here next

peeing in their pants about human rights.

Sir I was thinking...

Get him down, tidy him up please. For God's sake!

Sir, what if he did know the answers?

Professors, doctors, lawyers, general knowledge-wallas

never get beyond 60000 rupees.

He's on 10 million.

What the hell can a slumdog possibly know?

The answers!

I knew the Answers...

Jamal, catch it, catch it, Jamal!

Jamal, take the catch!

Hey man, how did you manage to drop a sitter like that, damn it?

Private property!

Get lost from here!

Catch him!

Let's run.

The dogs are coming! Run!

Hey fatso!

If the planes won't kill you, we will!

Hey brother!

Hey fatso.

Yahoo!...

- Hey, why running here? - Not running!

Run, run!

Hey, what..?

Sorry!

There comes...

- Go, go, go... - I'm very sorry.

Oh shit, it's Mum.

Want to break your bones, huh?

Brother, please forgive them.

Come on.

We are going to school.

Athos.

The Three Musketeers.

Repeat it! "You have sent for me, Sir?" said Athos.

Ah, here come our very own musketeers.

Thank you for gracing us all with your presence.

Porthos!

Open it.

Salim, open it correctly.

Don't know how to open a book. What do you think yourself, huh?

Athos?

So... Mr. Malik

the man who knows all the answers.

Talk.

Whoreson talk!

So Jamal, are you ready for the first question, for 1000 rupees?

Yes.

Not bad money to sit on a chair

and answer a question.

Better than making tea, no?

No. Yes. No.

No? Yes? No? Is that your final answer?

So remember. You have three lifelines.

Ask the audience, fifty-fifty

and call a friend.

So the first question, for 1000 rupees, here we go.

Who was the star in the 1973 hit-film "Zanjeer"?

I'm in trouble, here...

Here... Money. Take the money...

Get out of there, Jamal. Prakash wants a big one.

Not finished.

Stop your time-pass boys. This is urgent...

It's a shy one...

and since when there is a time limit on a crap?

This is borderline kid. Get a move on...

Since there was a customer waiting, that's when Jamal!

Give me the money back! Give! I'll go elsewhere.

Bloody idiot.

You just lost me a bloody customer.

Amitabh's helicopter!

That's Amitabh's helicopter!

Amitabh!

Amitabh Bachchan!

Salim, open it!

Amitabh Bachchan!

My Amitabh sir!

Move, move! Out of the way!

Please wait, I am coming for you!

Amitabh sir, please give me your autograph

Yea, got Amithab's autograph!

You've got it now have you? Amitabh's autograph?

That was my autograph! My autograph!

Amitabh gave it to me!

I'll never get another!

He offered a good price, so I sold it.

But it was mine...

A, Amitabh Bachchan.

Guess what, you're right. You just won 1,000 rupees.

You don't have to be a genius.

I knew it was Amitabh Bachchan.

- Hmm..? - Umm.

Like I said, you do not have to be a genius.

He's the most famous man in India.

A picture of three lions, as seen on the national emblem of India.

What is written underneath?

The truth alone triumphs

Lies alone triumph

Fashion alone triumphs

Money alone triumphs

What do you think, Jamal?

The most famous phrase of our country.

Do you like to call a friend?

Ask the audience.

Put the poor man out of his misery, ladies and gentlemen?

My five-year old daughter can answer that question,

but you couldn't.

That's strange for a millionaire genius.

What happened?

Your accomplice sneaked out for a piss?

The inspector is asking something.

How much is panipuri at Dharisha store on Chowpatty?

What?

Panipuri. One plate. How much?

- 10 rupees. - Wrong.

15 since Diwali.

Who stole Constable Varmy's bicycle

outside Santa Cruz station last Thursday?

You know who that was?

Everyone in Juhu knows that.

Even five year olds.

Congratulations, Jamal. You just won 4,000 rupees.

A 16 thousand rupees.

Religion. Interesting.

In depictions of God Rama he is

famously holding what in his right hand?

Hey, Jamal.

Run, Jamal!

Run!

Salim, Jamal! Run!

They're Muslims, get them!

Come on Salim, come on.

Jamal let's go!

Run!

Let's Run!

Hey, get lost!

Why are you standing? Go home!

- Go Jamal. - Come with us.

I wake up every morning wishing I did not know the answer to that question.

If it wasn't for Rama and Allah...

I would still have a mother.

A bow and arrow.