Red Oaks

All right.

Well, how do I look?

Sexy.

At least we don't have to worry

about anyone hitting on me.

Or mistaking you for a girl.

I'm so glad you were able to fill in on such short notice.

Are you kidding me? Look,

I could use the extra money, so thank you.

Is everything okay with you and David?

Yeah, I guess so. Why?

Oh. Nothing.

Just tell me.

I wasn't going to say anything.

Heather saw David the other night

on the Red and Tan bus headed into the city

with some girl.

I'm sorry.

Think about it.

Jason Voorhees, Freddy Kruger, Leatherface.

What do they all have in common?

- What? - They're all WASPs.

White Anglo-Saxon psychopaths.

It's bullshit.

Leatherface is just his nickname.

For all we know, he could be Jewish.

Dude, he lives in Texas.

Owns a chainsaw.

- I got it. - No, dude, this one's mine.

Hey, Ganz.

Yo.

Here you go.

Fresh off the boat,

as in literally one of 300

in a cargo container in Red Hook a few hours ago.

Where's the stuff?

In the cassette player.

Quarter of a key.

Should keep you busy for a while.

Got to run. See you, Your Highness.

Who was that?

Uh, my mom. I forgot my lunch.

Oh, mine.

- Good morning, sir. - Hi.

- Grab my bag, please. - Oh, yeah.

This is... It was the '79, right?

Yeah, the Mercedes.

And, kid, get a haircut.

You're starting to look like Son of Sam.

- Thank you. -

Man: What the hell?

Oh, fuck.

Everything's fine. Are you all right?

Rizzo, come on.

Yeah.

You see this?

Hey, kid, what's with the getup?

Bar mitzvah.

Oh, Mazel tov. You're finally a man.

I'm filming it.

Do you do balloon animals, too?

What's this I hear

about you fooling around with Getty's daughter?

Who told you that?

A little birdie.

We're just friends.

Oh, right. Hey, I got to hand it to you, kid.

You got chutzpah.

I'm going to miss you.

See you, Herb.

Oh, uh, morning.

David.

Herb.

Mr. President.

What the hell?

Something wrong, Herb?

Yeah, there's a mix-up. This is not my bag.

All right.

Oi.

What happened?

Idiots.

Just like a drunkard?

Drunk driving golf course.

Aqua Velva?

Ohh.

Ahh.

Mmm!

Good morning.

Nasser.

What the hell are you wearing?

Oh. A towel.

On your head.

Oh, this.

I'm... I'm merely preparing for the boat

I intend to purchase with my Galexa windfall.

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

We're alone in here.

That's not the point.

You've been shooting your mouth off,

and people are starting to talk.

Sorry.

What are you going to do with a boat?

Mine are an ocean-going people,

and I hear the siren call of the sea.

Yeah? Well, that's not the sea you hear.

That's the sound of money being flushed down a toilet.

Boats... big money pits.

Really?

Trust me. Piece of advice.

If if flies, floats, or fucks, rent it.

Oh.

Ah, Herb. I could hug you.

I'm sorry. Kid. I don't swing that way.

No, no. This is your bag.

Oh, thank you. That's yours.

W... where's the cassette player?

- - The whatsit?

The little portable tape player.

It's about this big with headphones.

- It's in the bag. - No, it's not.

Then it must have dropped out of the bag

in the locker room.

Sorry.

Welcome to Red Oaks.

Thank you. We're here for the Glassman bar mitzvah.

The reception's inside the clubhouse.

- Thank you. - Tip him.

What?

He's waiting for a gratuity.

No, he's not. Are you?

It's customary.

No, that's after.

It's both.

Ah, you're nuts.

You're embarrassing me. I'm sorry.

Why can't you just defer to me for once?

Mom? Dad?

Why are you so early?

The reception isn't for another hour.

Your mom wanted to see where you work.

I have to say it's lovely.

Please don't wander off or talk to anyone

or do anything to get me in trouble.

- No, honey. - Don't worry.

We're not wild animals. We're fine.

Whoa.

Chop-chop, Sancho. Time is shekels.

I got to go.

What are you doing?

We're David's parents.

Judy and Sam.

Oh, wow.

I would have thought uncle and sister.

Just... Just kidding, Pops.

That's a good boy you got there.

His work ethic leaves something to be desired,

but that's not his fault.

It's generational. Am I right, slim?

- It's Sam. - If you say so.

Whoa. Look at the time. I better say sayonara.

Save me a dance, pretty lady.

Okay.

Kiss you later.

What's wrong with you?

Reggie, dude, did you find a cassette player?

Yeah.

Oh. Thank God. Where is it?

Took it to the lost and found.

Should have put it in the trash.

Piece of shit didn't work.

Couldn't even get it open.

Did you go in to the city with some girl?

I...

Please don't lie to me.

Heather said she saw you two on the Red and Tan bus.

Yeah, but it was...

Who is she?

Her name's Skye.

Getty's daughter?

She's just a friend. We went to see a Rohmer movie

I knew I'd never get you to see.

So this is my fault, right?

- No. - Because I'm not smart enough

to appreciate your stupid subtitled movies,

so you had to find someone who does?

No, that's not what I said.

You are fucking unbelievable, David.

Karen.

A-woo, someone's in the doghouse.

You want my advice?

No.

Yes, well, after giving it some thought,

I've decide to go with the bigger engine...

the 250 horsepower, in fact.

Yes, no measly 220 will cut it for me.

I want to feel a stiff wind slap me across the face

like I've wronged it in some way.

Oh, you know what, Molly?

I'm going to have to call you back.

Right. Hello. Can I help you?