Holy Matrimony

Come on, step on up.

Two bucks a ball, three for five. You might get lucky.

See something you haven't seen before. Watch our Marilyn twirl.

Come on, reach in.

Give 'em a thrill, boys. Give 'em a thrill.

When the weather's hot like this, I keep my panties in the refrigerator.

We have a winner.!

Come on, fella. How 'bout you? Two bucks a ball.

That worth two bucks a ball? Look at that skin up there.

Pretty fine, folks. You oughta get in here, get some of this.

I am gonna be someone. And this is step number one.

Yeah? Step one to what?

I'm gonna go where all the lights stay on.

Where all those little flashbulbs go off like they do for Madonna and Cher.

My mama sat alone in the dark.

Not me. Uh-uh.

You know... Marilyn wasn't always Marilyn.

She had to do stuff to get to be Marilyn.

And it wasn't always stuff she liked.

She did it anyhow.

Eye on the ball.

Keep your eye on the ball.

Sorry, Mr. Greeson. Is my check ready?

What's the matter? You been cryin'?

Ah, forget it.

You think just because I'm the boss, I got no ears.

Come on. Sit down here. Talk to me.

It's just...

I don't want anyone to hear.

Well, we can go in my office.

Come on.

Come on.

So, what is it, Havana? You can tell me.

It's... Peter.

He said he really loved me...

and he started screwing the cotton candy girl.

Oh, there, there, there.

There, there, there, now.

Havana, honey.

- You'll be fine. Now just have a good cry, yes.

Oh, that's right.

- That's right. Yeah. - He broke my heart.

You'll be fine. Don't worry about a thing.

Honey, that farm hand is beneath a beautiful woman like you.

What you need is a man mature enough to appreciate...

- what a lady like you has to offer. - I do?

Sure.

Hey, get your hands off of my woman.!

Come on. Let's go. Let's go. It's right here. I got it all.

A Metro girl got a new lease on life...

thanks to surgery at the hospital for sick children.

Tracy Hooper was given the liver of an nine-year-old accident victim in a four hour operation.

Hooper is in critical but stable condition, ; normal after such an operation.

The forecast: ; mostly sunny skies today with brisk winds.

Expected high near 52 degrees. Clear tonight with a low...

Wake up, wake up!

- We gotta pack. Pack! - What?

Come on. We gotta go, now. Move it.

Jesus Christ! We're screwed!

"PeterJakobson is being sought for state fair robbery"! Some brilliant...

- I didn't see any goddamned camera. Move! Let's pack. - Where are we going?

"Now, therefore...

"if you will obey My voice and needs, and keep My covenant...

"then you shall be a peculiar treasure unto Me...

"above all people.

For all the earth is mine."

I never know where I'm going to

Kinda takin' it day by day

Day by day

Day by day

Day by day Day by day

I'm not hanging out at some wacko commune...

like a '60s leftover waiting to get brainwashed.

No phones, no TV, no newspapers; nobody will find us.

And it's not a commune. It's, it's a colony.

A religious colony. One of 300.

Well, rethink it, Peter. The answer is no.

I don't wear tie-dye. I don't do chants.

- I don't do the singing nuns. - Okay, you got a better idea where we could hide out?

Yeah. Pull over, give me my half of the money.

I'll go to Hollywood where nobody knows me for sure. Pull over!

No. I don't feel safe with you out there loose. I don't trust you!

Don't want you around

Thinks you should be free

Thinks you drive me insane

I'm on my way

Never know where I'm going

Just kinda takin' it day by day

Day by day

Day by day

Day by day

Day by day...

- This place looks like a goddamned penal colony. - Hey, stop swearin'.

It's not allowed here.

Okay, now you wait here.

Wait! Hey!

- I'm thirsty! - You'll wait.

- Ezekiel Jakobson.! - Yes?

Is anybody looking for an older brother in there?

Peter! I told you he'd come back.

Peter!

- You're back! - Yes, of course I'm back.

- I prayed that you'd return and you're finally back. - Yes, of course.

- And they won't pick on me anymore. - Who? Who won't?

- The kids are still. But they won't anymore. - Those kids picking on you?

- Yeah, but they won't anymore, because you're here. - That's right.

- You're with me. - Yeah, it's just me and you. Huh? Me and you.

- That's right. You and me. - Mother! Mother!

He's back! Peter's back!

- Not a kiss from my own mother? - Peter. It is really you?

Oh, Peter.

Not one word for almost three years, now you stand before me as if you never left.

Mother, my body has returned but my heart never left.

Oh, welcome home, my child.

You must go talk with elders.

What have you learned in the outside world, Peter?

Of myself, Uncle.

What is that?

I've witnessed firsthand the torrents of the soul.

I have felt the devil's tongue.

This is my home... Uncle.

I belong here.

I read from Proverbs: 22, 6.

"Train up a child in the way he should go. And when he is old...

he will not depart from it."

Welcome home, Peter. Welcome.

Thank you. Thank you. It's good to be back.

Peter.

Did you leave something in the car like me for instance?

Hmm? Hi.

Uh... excuse me.

Uh, yes, um...

Excuse me. Excuse me.

Ow!

Are you nuts?

I'm trying to help us here and you're a hair away from blowing the deal.

- Put some clothes on. - I have clothes on. You wanna see me get naked?

Do you? What I need is a drink.

You want a drink? Okay, look. See there. That's a faucet.

Knock yourself out.

Peter... who is that woman?

She's my, uh...

Uh, she's, uh... my wife.

What? Your wife?

Uh, um... She's to be my wife.

You know, we do not like to judge...

as our Lord, Jesus Christ judged no one.

But that woman...

hmph...

Does not appear to be of our sort.

Ja, ja, I agree.

And that is why she's been sent to me...

to be a test of my, of my patience...

and my generosity.

She wants to learn our way.

And God has asked me... to show her.

Boo!

No.

This is not happening!

That is Zeke's way. When he gets nervous, he passes out.

Nothing to be concerned about. Just give him a nudge.

Wake up!

Well, my name's Havana. And you're?

Oh, I get it, you have no name.

Okay. All right. Well... actually I'm fine.

- Thank you for asking. - I presume you're Havana.

Then you presume right on.

I'm Uncle Wilhelm. I'm the head of the Colony.

- Welcome to our family, Havana. - Thanks. It's...

Uncle Wilhelm, I see you met Havana.

- Yes, we met, and it was a beautiful moment had by all. - Good.

Colony life will be difficult at first...

but it will be easier if you live it for God's sake.

There is a lot for her to learn, Uncle Wilhelm. It'll take a little time.

We are pleased that you have decided to marry Peter...

- and join our simple way of life. - He is?

- She makes a fine breeder for us. - Oh.

Thank you.

- Sorry, I... I have to work now. - Okay.

You can breed this!

Havana, the rules of the Colony are very strict. I had to think of something.

Some way that the elders would let you stay 'til I think of a plan...

Plan? Is that what you call getting married; figuring out a plan? What am I, a yo-yo?

- Shh. - I'm getting whiplash. I have a plan.

And my plan is to go to Hollywood, lose you forever. That is what I call a plan.

- Don't go screwing with my plan. - We'd only be married a few weeks.

I'm not staying.! No, I'm not staying.

Yes, there's a problem. A problem with your performance in New Orleans.

You're goin' out to pick up a robbery suspect.

Would you do me the courtesy of checking the manual?

Look under "appropriate use of Bureau personnel" before you send a 30-year veteran...

- to do the job of a green-ass kid. - Markowski, listen to me.

Your credibility is suspect; you are not in New Orleans; you are not undercover;

you are in Iowa and you are working for me.

And the manual says that I...

get to tell you what to do.

Robbin'a state fair?

Man, I used to be proud to be an American.

You're going to Canada to bring back PeterJakobson, his accomplice...

and the money.