Columbo

This one is as crooked as a dog's hind leg.

Fire it in the vice this afternoon.

Are those yesterday's field reports?

- Yes, sir. - I want them now.

Three more units added to security at Coastal Aircraft.

No progress on the Fairfax Insurance investigation.

We're working with their accountants on the audit.

Uh, Brooks and Wilcox are in court this morning on the Monzio divorce.

Brooks anticipates no problem.

James case looking very positive, no negative signs in sight.

All men on surveillance have checked in except Russell,

but he's in Santa Barbara and he's undercover.

Let me have the afternoon report at 5:30.

I assume our guest has arrived.

Yes, sir, but Mr. Kennicut isn't here yet.

Well, he's not due for another 30 seconds.

He's just coming in now.

I want you to listen very care fully please.

My name is Arthur Kennicut. Mr. Brimmer's expecting me.

Oh, yes, sir. Would you go right in, please?

Thank you.

Oh, Mr. Kennicut. You're right on time.

- Won't you sit down? - Thank you.

Would you care for something to drink?

Oh. Some coffee, black.

I was just reading one of your papers. I see you've taken a stand on this...

federal judgeship that's giving everybody fits.

I'd rather not talk politics right now, Mr. Brimmer, if you don't mind.

Yes, of course. Thank you, Henry.

Well, this is your wife's file, Mr. Kennicut,

and the fact sheet shows five weeks now of...

intensive surveillance.

All movement, personal contact, telephone communications.

It's really quite extensive.

And, Mr. Kennicut,

you have nothing to worry about. It's a clean bill of health.

You sure?

Well, I'm not in the habit of making mistakes.

Yes. I'm sorry, of course.

But lately it's been like waiting for a biopsy report...

benign or malignant.

Well, in this case, benign.

I don't know which I feel most, relief or anger.

- Anger? - At myself, my idiotic suspicions.

But I suppose when one marries a...

much younger woman, one tends to become a little paranoid.

Well, some times there's good cause. In this case, not.

Read it at your leisure. There's not a hint of another man.

You know, it's funny.

I love her. I love her very much.

And I think I know her.

But lately I could have sworn that... Well, it doesn't matter now.

I feel so guilty, I'm going to start showering her with gifts.

She won't know what hit her.

Mr. Brimmer, I owe you a great deal.

Well, it's a pleasure to set your mind at rest, sir.

Thank you.

And you'll have my check in the morning.

Very kind of you.

Thank you again.

Thank you.

Could you hear everything?

Yes.

Well, you seem confused.

Well, I don't know why you asked me to come here.

I thought it was obvious.

No, not really. You...

What you're trying to say is that I lied to your husband.

Well, that's correct, Mrs. Kennicut.

I even went so far as to falsify the report.

Would you like a glass of water?

No. Uh, nothing, thank you.

In point of fact, you were having an affair.

The man's name was Archer.

It's over, Mr. Brimmer.

But I'm sure you already know that.

It was a mistake. A stupid mistake.

But I ended it. And it won't ever happen again.

Why didn't you tell my husband the truth?

Oddly enough, Mrs. Kennicut, I am a moralist,

a vanishing species, so I'm told.

A thousand broken marriages come across my desk,

infidelities, uh, domestic deceit.

In your case, 10 years of marriage, and one brief indiscretion.

So, why not bend the truth a little bit?

Uh, then you're not going to tell him?

I haven't and I won't. File's closed.

Thank you.

Thank you, Mr. Brimmer.

I am so grateful.

How grateful?

Mrs. Kennicut,

a detective agency runs on information. That's our raw material.

Your husband owns three newspapers, two on this coast and one on the East.

Whenever anything happens on the inside of business...

or politics or even in the jet-set.

I still don't understand how I...

Information, Mrs. Kennicut. It is our only stock in trade.

For example, at the moment I'm working on case...

where in it would be very beneficial to my client to have certain information...

about a federal judge that your husband is supporting.

Are you saying that you want me to be a pipeline to my husband?

No. Just a good listener.

Is it really asking so much, Mrs. Kennicut?

I can't do this kind of work alone. I need that kind of help.

Why don't you think about it and we'll talk again.

Your terrace door was unlocked, so I trespassed.

Well, there's no car in the front.

Oh. I thought you knew everything, Mr. Brimmer. We're neighbors.

My husband and I have a weekend house about three miles from here.

Ironic, isn't it?

Why are you here?

Well, why else? To discuss your...

What shall we call it? Your proposition.

I've been walking on the beach for hours, thinking.

And you've come to a decision.

Oh, yes.

Tell me something, Mr. Brimmer.

How many other rich men's wives owe you favors?

Do they all capitulate easily?

I'm waiting for your answer.

Oh, indulge me. I should think the blackmail-ee has some right.

Mrs. Kennicut, I...

The answer is no. No deal.

Is that plain enough for you? If you want a spy, you find someone else.

All right.

I'll have to call your husband in the morning and...

And what? Tell him I had an affair?

Sorry. It won't work. I'm going to tell him myself.

I can't believe that you'd want to do that.

Well, what you believe really doesn't matter, does it?

It's what Arthur thinks that's important.

Maybe he'll ask for a divorce or maybe he'll forgive me.

But it's time I was honest with him.

You're being very foolish.

Only if I lose. But you can't threaten me anymore, can you?

You just lost your leverage.

Oh, and one other thing.

I'm also going to tell him about the way you run your business.

I wouldn't advise that.

Oh, I'm sure you wouldn't.

Because whether he forgives me or not, he's gonna despise you for lying to him.

And Arthur's not the right man to have for an enemy.

- Good night, Mr. Brimmer. - Mrs. Kennicut, I want you to reconsider.

Your husband has some very powerful friends.

That's right. Now, if you'll please excuse me.

I cannot permit you to do that.

Well, you don't understand. It's not your choice. You let go of me!

Let go!

What's the trouble, Officer?

May I see your license and registration?

- Turn signal, right? - The right one.

You know, it's the second time I got stopped today.

I tell you, I'll get those things fixed as soon as I can.

You'll get 'em fixed now.

I would, but I'm on my way to a 187 P.C.

Say, are you a cop?

Uh, yeah, a lieutenant... Columbo.

Well, I'm sorry, Lieutenant, I flagged you down.

Well, that's all right. You're just doing your job.

Listen, I'll get those things fixed.

This license expires next week.

Oh. Oh, well, thanks.

Say, I better give you an escort. That way you'll get where you wanna go.

Oh. Okay. Appreciate that. But listen, not too fast.

Can't tell for sure, but I don't think she was killed here.

Looks like the body was moved.

And the cause of death?

Probably a severe concussion.

Print team all wrapped up, Captain. Nothing.

- There were two blows. - Uh, send them on home.

Laceration on the cheek and major contusion at the base of the skull.

How do you read that?

It's hard to say.

Maybe somebody hit her and she struck her head going down.

Lieutenant, you got that?

I'll know more about this after the autopsy.

Uh, yeah. Got a match?

- No. - No tire tracks we can use.

- Got a match? - I'm sorry. I don't smoke.

No prints. Just smudges.

- Money? - Just change. No currency.

You got a match.

No, I don't. Sorry.

Got a match.

Yeah, sure.

We're all finished here. You can load it up.

Identification and purse. Mrs. Arthur Kennicut...

the Arthur Kennicut.

How do you know that?

Credit card's made out to Kennicut Publications.

What's the problem?

Newspapers.

If we don't handle this according to Kennicut's satisfaction,

he's got an awful lot of front pages to beat us over the head with.

Thought I told you to move that out of here.

Lieutenant, what are you looking at?

The bruise, sir. The lady has a bruise on the left cheek.

We know that.

I knew you weren't listening.