Your Christmas Or Mine?

It's fine. We've got plenty of time.

We'd better go. We're gonna miss our trains!

I can't go any faster!

We made it!

No thanks to you.

I didn't know it took that long to cook a turkey.

We're going with 'it was cooked', are we?

That was my first ever Christmas dinner!

It was great. I didn't know you could cook.

There's lots of things you don't know about me, James Hughes.

Stay there. Stay there!

Okay, just one.

That camera! You're such an old man!

Well, this old man...

- ...got you something. - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

- We said no presents. - I know, I know!

- No presents, remember? - But...

Well, just open it when... you're really missing me.

I'll be really missing you, will I?

I really wish I could come with you.

Why don't you?

- What? - Come with me.

We could have Christmas in the countryside together.

I mean... my mum would kill me.

Macclesfield calling at Luton...

That's me.

Bloody Macclesfield.

- Bloody 'Kimble'. - Kemble!

Whatever!

I have been wanting to say that these past couple of months have been...

Well, you're like... the coolest person I've ever met,

and I don't even just mean on the course. Like, ever and...

- You are out of time, James Hughes. - Well, no...

I just... I wanna say...

I... I love...

Bye!

Bye!

...the 17:32 service to Kemble.

Calling at Reading...

Okay!

- Come on, darling. - Wait!

Have you got your ticket?

You're going to spend Christmas together!

That's lovely!

Your ticket?

Sorry, I...

Is this free?

- Yes, love. - Cheers.

Someone who knows you well, eh?

I told you!

Stop talking to random people.

Wait!

This stops at Kimble, right?

Kemble.

Even better!

Does this stop at Macclesfield?

It does, love.

Excellent!

Wait! Wait!

Stop, stop!

Stop!

No!

No, no, no, no! No! No!

- No, no, no! - One metre!

You need to keep at least one metre from the platform edge, miss. Station rules.

You need to stop this train. It's an emergency!

If you wish to report an emergency, you need to call 01632 323323.

I can't. My phone's on the train. That's the emergency.

A lost phone does not constitute an emergency, miss.

You can report it to Lost Property on 01632 3...

How can I report it if my phone is on the train?

Can I borrow yours?

I don't have one. There's no signal round here.

What? You don't have a mobile phone?

Where are we, 1985?

They tried installing a mast last year, but we were having none of it!

Sorry, Bill Gates, you can take your radiation

and stick it where it belongs.

Bristol!

Oh, my God! This is a nightmare!

I was supposed to surprise this guy,

but then I fell asleep and I missed him, and now he's gone home and...

Man, that's where I'm supposed to be. My mum's gonna be freaking out!

And we're gonna lose our 99 day streak.

I'm gonna need that slower and in English.

Can I get a train to Macclesfield from here?

There speaks someone with little comprehension

of the South West Rail Network.

Right. Right then. Right.

I just need to find James' house.

You know where everyone lives, right?

Because this is the countryside

you're going to assume everyone knows everyone else?

His name's Hughes. James Hughes?

Yeah, of course I know that one.

It's up the hill, past Chapman's house, turn right at June's cottage,

past the church, down the drive and, well, can't miss it.

Right, ta!

Right then, race you home, James Hughes.

Guess who's waking up next to you on Christmas morning?

Thank you, Santa!

I am so sorry. I... I thought you were someone else. Sorry.

Aww!

Come back!

I've been very good!

Yes, little man, what can I do you for?

A '99, please.

Well, you'll have to come back in April for ice cream,

but if you're after a five kilo Norfolk Black with its giblets intact...

you've come to the right place.

Weirdo!

Eh? Cheeky git.

Hiya! Are you alright? Joking!

I'm not here, leave a message. Bye.

Turkeys! Simply the breast!

Get 'em while you can! They're getting gobbled up!

Gobble!

Starting route to Woodfield Road.

What do you want?

Me? Nothing. Nothing. I'm just...

Trespassing, are you?

No, no, no, I'm just looking for the Hughes household.

W... hey! Please don't shoot me! It's Christmas!

The Hughes household?

Yes, sir.

Rather you than me.

Thank you, sir.

Bloody hell!

I... I'm sorry. Are you sure this is...

Proceed to the route and make a U-turn.

Make a U-turn and proceed to...

- Oi! - ...Woodfield Road.

Nice coat, mate. Shame there's no sleeves.

Well, it's actually a gilet.

Ooh! A gilet!

Look, guys, I'm not... I don't want any trouble.

Too late for that, 'Gilet'.

Please. Please. I'm really just...

Thank God! You're kids.

What? I'm nine and three-quarters, and he's nearly eight.

- Yeah. - Okay, well...

I'm looking for Woodfield Road.

- What's it worth, 'Gilet'? - Yeah, what's it worth?

Alright...

I'll give you... a pound.

Fiver!

Okay, fine.

- Each! - Each?

Each!

Alright.

Fine. Deal.

Thank you.

Now where is it?

Unbelievable!

Happy to help!

- Hello, I'm... - Late!

I know. I've been expecting you.

Really?

For the last 20 minutes.

Listen, there's a guy out there with a gun.

Well, of course there is, you're in the country.

Come in, girl, you'll let all the good heat out.

Follow me.

Heat? What heat?

You can wait in here. Don't touch anything.

I'll let Mr Hughes know you're here.

An interesting choice of outfit.

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