8 Simple Rules

8 Simple Rules - S03e14 -Temptation-

Oh! Grandpa. I didn't know you were down here.

I've been down here ever since you went in the bathroom.

What is that? One of your mom's lingerie catalogs?

Yeah.

I think she was looking for that.

I was just thinking of

getting her something for her birthday.

Oh, good idea.

Yeah, nothing says "Happy birthday!, mommy"

like fancy underwear.

Grandpa...

Hey, I know what's going on

Teenage boy, magazine with lots of girls,

locked door ... it all adds up.

You're going to hell.

What?

Oh, I'm just kidding, but 'ease up, boss'.

I mean, even God took sunday off.

--

Oh, my God!

What's all this?

Yeah!; People keep bringing me stuff 'cause of my broken leg.

Oh, that's so sweet.

She got a laptop.

Yeah; I gave it away. What am I gonna do with a computer?

Oh, my God.

Look at this woman hanging all over principal Gibb.

What, did she lose a bet or something?

Uh... Ed?

-Cate! -Hi.

My friend ... I-I never expected to see you here.

At school? Where we both work?

Yes ... school, of course.

Hi. I'm Cate.

Hi.

Cate, yes. This is ... uh, uh ... Cheryl...

Also my friend.

Friend?

After last night, we're either very good friends

or very bad enemies.

Oh, my God. Look at the time.

So...

this is the new girlfriend.

How'd you guys meet?

Cheryl was the receptionist at my divorce lawyer's office.

You could say I used to file his briefs, but now I...

Yeah, yeah, I think I get it.

-I was gonna say- -No, no, no.

Really, I got it.

Here's the bell!

We should be off.

Is that his new girlfriend?

Well...yeah.

I don't believe it.

Is principal Gibb secretly rich?

Or secretly hot?

Well...

Good for Ed!

Good...

for...

...Ed.

So, the election of 1912

America's choices were

Teddy Roosevelt...

William Howard Taft...

Woodrow Wilson.

Does anyone know why Wilson won?

Hennessy.

Roosevelt's Bull Moose party split the republican vote,

giving the election to Wilson, the democrat.

Well, that's one boring theory.

But consider this

A mustache...

Mustache...

No mustache.

That's right.

I don't think America will ever trust a man in a mustache.

That's why Jeff Foxworthy was never

and will never be president of this country.

Mr. Barnes,

can I talk to you for a second?

Sure. Ladies and gentlemen, the principal.

No mustache.

C.J., um,

I was wondering if I could ask you a favor.

See, I-I have a friend ... a,

uh, a lady friend.

Ah, you want me to take out her fat sister. No problem.

Listen...

I got a half a case of wine coolers in my car.

The other half's in me belly.

I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that.

So she's taking her G.E.D. in a couple weeks,

and she needs to brush up on her American History.

I was considering she could sit in on one of your classes.

I don't know. It might be a little awkward

having the boss's friend in my class.

-Oh, Eddie! there you are! -Ahhh -Ahh

Then again, it might be the most natural thing in the world.

Welcome!

Hi!

This is your teacher ... Mr. Barnes.

C.J.

Class, this is my friend, Cheryl.

She's gonna be with us for a couple weeks.

And for the record,

her presence violates not one single code

of the Michigan unified school districts' by laws.

Although it seems like it would.

Mr. Barnes, treat her as you would any other student.

So I can take her to the prom?

Have a seat.

Okay...

All right, the election of 1912...

Hennessy.

I need to go to the bathroom.

Hi, Cate.

You got a second?

Sure. What's up?

I feel I kind of sprung

Cheryl on you this morning.

I felt you deserved an explanation.

Oh...

You don't need an explanation.

When you asked me out, I wasn't ready to date.

And when I was, you already had a girlfriend.

Today I met her

... end of story.

Really?

Of course. We're friends.

Ok, good. I just want to make sure that...

nothing got awkward between us.

Especially because Cheryl's gonna be taking classes here.

She is?

Yeah. She's brushing up for her

G.E.D.

Since we started dating,

she's a little self-conscious about not finishing high school.

Ohhhh, she never finished high school.

I would've thought she had a "p-h-double-d."

See, that's the kind of comment

that makes me start wondering

if things might eventually become awkward.

No, Ed, look ... seriously, if you're happy, I'm happy.

Good,

Because I am happy.

Extremely happy.

I'm exhausted, but happy.

I've actually lost 5 pounds. Gosh!

Getting awkward.

I can see that.

So, until its repeal in 1933,

with the passage of the volstead act,

prohibition was in effect.

All forms of alcohol were illegal.

Wait ...

all alcohol?

Yuh-huh.

Even body shots?

Yes; These were dark times.

But if people couldn't drink, how'd they get the courage up

to run topless through a crowded ballpark?

Or marry a perfect stranger after knowing him only an hour?

This does not sound like my America.

Okay, guys, read chapter 10.

And tomorrow, if we're lucky, maybe we'll hear what Cheryl

may or may not have done while intoxicated.

Mr. Barnes?

I'm sorry. Was I a little too open with my stories?

No, I like a woman who's been naked

in as many ballparks as I have.

You know;

Getting this G.E.D. is really important to me.

I was kind of hoping you could help me out

maybe a little...

'personal tutoring'

Huh...

Oh, uh, yeah. No.

That's super cool.

Any friend of the principal, I could help out.

Maybe I can meet you in the library after 7th period.

Oh no. I'm a little self-conscious here at school,

being so much older and better-looking than everyone.

I was hoping we could do it at my apartment.

By "it," you mean study, right?

Yeah, yeah. That's what I mean.

Hey, girls.

-Hey, mom. -Hey, mom.

So, uh, how you doing?

Fine. Why?

Because of principal Gibb and his girlfriend.

Yeah, and, you know, because you...

Lost.

Girls, this wasn't a competition.

It sure wasn't.

Anyway,

we brought you these to make you feel better.

Wow.

A new lingerie catalog...