Kuzu no Honkai (Scum's Wish / クズの本懐)

The sky is gray.

It looks like a completely new city.

I'm lost.

As a child,

I never cried in front of my mother.

I promised myself I would never cry.

After my father left,

my mother cried the tears that should have been mine as well.

When she robbed me of my sadness, I felt something for the first time.

I didn't know the thing I was never given.

The comfortable world of being alone.

But...

Hana!

You give my world color.

I'm glad, Hana.

I've been looking for you.

I got a call from your mom saying that you disappeared.

Come on. Let's go home.

Hana?

I suddenly became so embarrassed.

For trying to act tough.

Why...?

You once offered me a safe space,

so why are you abandoning me now?

Ecchan.

Ecchan's hair is so silky.

It even looks good parted to the side.

Hanabi, you're awake?

Good morning.

What's wrong?

Good morning...

Ecchan.

Episode Five

I want to treasure the most What is most precious

But even something so simple Is the one thing I can't do

"If destiny is real

Then you are the person I'm destined to be with"

Those are the words I can't say Because I'm scared it will destroy what we have

Even when you're near You feel so far

This feeling that comes and goes

"Give up" "Don't give up"

The petals I pick are never ending

The treasure box remains locked

Embracing the sparkling feelings

Hiding the faintly colored fragments in my sighs

If our eyes meet Please, don't look away

See through this lie I've locked away

I don't know how much more I can take

So please don't say anything yet

It hurts

I love you so much it's scary

You know...

I really already know everything.

I'm not that stupid.

But I know that if I told her, there's no way she'd understand.

She'd probably actually hate--

Seriously?

Did I not want her to hate me?

I mean, there was a time

when I really didn't know.

How could you say that?

How could you say that about Ms. Akane?

You really don't know?

You're such a kid, Mugi.

See?

But he's so old.

I bet that's some college professor.

I cried myself to sleep that night.

But by the next day...

Sorry I'm late.

Ms. Akane showed up to tutor me as usual.

You want some cake?

I bought one on the way here.

Oh, she's wearing the same clothes as yesterday.

I bet she's doing that because she looks cute at that angle.

I bet...

She can't live without a man.

When I thought of her like that,

then Akane suddenly became this fragile, sympathetic girl to me.

Mugi.

You've got some icing on your face.

I'm going to be sick.

That's the smell of the motel's shampoo, isn't it?

Wanna lick?

No, that's okay.

Okay, then.

This goddamn woman.

But since then, I...

I dropped my pencil.

Did she calculate this?

Sorry.

Does she calculate everything?

I just fell further into her trap.

So that's what you like?

Now that I think about it, maybe that was her being jealous.

I know if it were her...

What? No way.

Please, just die. Right, you're terrible.

But I don't hate how honest she is.

Today is Saturday.

I've got nothing to do.

But...

Why?

I did not think you'd come.

Why not?

Please, do something about my adolescence.

I'd hate to waste time.

You just wanna go to a motel?

Oh, I mean, I didn't--

That's exactly why you called me, right?

It's fine.

I'm partly responsible, after all.

You don't have to do this out of a sense of responsibility or anything.

You want to do it, right?

Well, yeah...

You know...

Yeah?

Did you know we've never done it when you've wanted to before?

So this makes us even.

She went home without spending the night.

Hey, Mugi.

Hey.

Morning.

It's so hot.

Summer vacation is coming up soon.

You know we're in advanced courses, right?

Apparently, we're going to get a ton of homework.

At times, Mugi and I were incredibly close.

It's not just my imagination.

But at other times,

we're practically strangers.

We spent less time alone together.

We stopped talking about things that might get too real.

I ended up not telling him about Brother confessing his feelings.

We each got a sense that the other had more things they were hiding.

We were even trying to avoid the trouble of asking.

I wonder why?

I wonder why?

Am I fine with Ecchan at this point?

Yeah. If it's just about filling in the loneliness,

I don't need Mugi anymore.

I don't need him anymore.

Mugi, you slept with someone else, didn't you?

You did too, didn't you?

I did.

I can tell.

Because...

What?

It's fine. We probably did it for the same reason.

Because it's started to feel really good.

Me too.