The Flintstones

Mr. Flintstone, your teacher will be Miss Gravel.

How do you do, Mr. Flintstone?

Likewise, I'm sure.

And Mr. Rubble...

this is Miss Pitchblend, your partner.

Welcome to our studio.

Barney. Say something!

Hiya, partner.

Good morning. You're early today.

Since we got these new mail carts, I get around faster.

Sure beats lugging this bundle around on my back all day.

- Is there any mail for us? - Let us see.

Yep, a letter for you, Mrs. Flintstone.

Thanks. Probably another bill.

That's all we seem to get these days.

Bills, magazines, advertisements, that's all I deliver.

Doesn't anybody write just plain old letters anymore?

Well, for goodness sake.

Wait till Betty hears this.

All right, Wilma, I'm sitting down, and I've got a good grip on myself.

Now, what's the big news?

Well, you read about the big charity dance...

they're holding at the Rockadero Tilton, haven't you?

Who hasn't. It's the swankiest affair of the year.

Right. And the tickets cost $100 a piece.

I know, and that's 200 reasons why Barney and I can't go.

But you are going.

You and Barney are going with Fred and me for free.

Hello. Betty, did you hear me?

But will you say that last part again, slowly?

It's true. You've heard of Mrs. Beardsley Gotrocks III?

Sure. She's married to one of the richest men in Bedrock.

Well, before she was married...

Mrs. Beardsley Gotrocks III was my school chum...

Gussie Gravelpit.

Gussie Gravelpit?

She and her husband were going to the dance...

but he came down with the measles or something, so she sent me her tickets.

There are four of them.

Good old Gussie.

Wait till the boys hear the news.

What's the matter, Betty?

Suppose the boys won't take us.

How can they refuse?

We've overcome their only objection. It's free.

You're right, Wilma. But just to play it safe...

I'll fix an extra special dinner for Barney before I spring the news on him.

That's a good idea, Betty. I'll do the same for my dancing partner.

Wake up, Barney-boy, we'll be home in a couple of minutes.

I wasn't sleeping, Fred. I always keep my eyes shut when you're driving.

That's funny, so does Wilma.

I guess it's kind of relaxing to know I'm at the wheel.

Relaxing nothing. It's terrifying.

Barney, so help me. One more crack like that...

and I'll pull the plug on this car pool.

Relax, Fred. I'm only joking.

It's a good thing you're not a comedian.

With a sense of humor like that, you'd starve to death.

Come on, Dino, your daddy's home.

Dino sure loves Fred.

No, Dino, wait.

Dino, stop it. Down, boy. Heel!

Wilma, do something.

Come on, you two, in the house.

Why can't he just greet me like other pets?

All right, Dino, put daddy down.

Oh, boy. Every night the same thing.

- That was a swell dinner, Wilma. - Thanks, Fred.

And now for a nice surprise.

We're going to the big charity dance at the Rockadero Tilton.

Are you out of your mind? It costs too much.

Free tickets.

- You'll want a new gown. - I'll wear my old one.

- Well, there's the corsage. - I'll wear some daisies from our garden.

- After the dance you'll want to eat. - I'll bring sandwiches.

- Give up, Fred? - We're not going to the dance.

Come on, Fred. What reason could you possibly have for not going?

- I got my reasons. - Fred.

Your idea of a good time...

is watching a ball game on TV while I feed you sandwiches.

I've gone along with it for along time because I know it's expensive to go out...

but when we can go to the swankiest dance of the year for free...

and you still won't take me...

Fred, you're becoming antisocial.

I've still got my reasons.

Sometimes that Fred!

Hi, Fred.

Barney, why aren't you home watching the ball game on TV?

I had a little tiff with Betty.

A little difference of opinion about going to the charity dance.

You, too?

Why won't you go, Barney?

Will you promise me you won't laugh, Fred?

Believe me, I'm in no laughing mood.

I can't dance.

You meet people there and you're supposed to dance.

It's too embarrassing.

- But why aren't you going, Fred? - Word for word the same reason.

- Two left feet. - It's sure not fair to the girls.

I know, and I feel awful about it.

There ought to be something we could do.

We could learn to dance.

- That's it, Barney. - It is?

But how do we learn, Fred?

How does anyone learn anything? From a book, of course.

Now look, you run down to the library and get a book on dancing.

I'll back the car out of the garage. We can start practicing right away.

Then we can take the girls to the dance without being embarrassed.

- Right? - Right. Get going. Pal-

Fred, I'm back.

Not so loud, we don't want the girls to know about this.

- Did you get the book? - Yep, here it is.

That's swell, Barney. We'll start off with an easy one.

- Like the tango. - Yeah, tango. Here it is, Fred.

The tango with diagrams. There's nothing to it.

Look, we just follow the footprints.

All right now, here we go. You sure you got the steps memorized?

Oh, yeah, it's a cinch. Lead on, Fred.

Okay, the tango. Here goes.

- Say, you follow pretty good, Barney. - Thanks, Fred.

- Barney. - Yeah, Fred.

Get off my feet.

- But it's easier to follow you this way. - Well, it ain't the right way.

Now get off.

And remember the tango is graceful...

sinuous, smooth.

- Let's do it right. - Yeah, okay, Fred.

Now we got it.

Graceful, sinuous, smooth.

So much for the basic steps, Barney-boy. Now let's try some fancy stuff.

- Ready? - Yep.

Hold it, Fred.

Hold it. Wait a minute. Fred, let go.

Now what kind of a step is that?

It's not a step, it's my sacroiliac.

Don't worry, Barney. I'll adjust it for you.

No, Fred. Don't touch me, don't.

Come on, Barney. Don't be a sissy. I know how to fix it.

Now stop it, will you? Stop squirming, Barney.

Hold still.

- Fred. - Barney.

What are you two doing?

We were just practicing some wrestling holds.

- Wrestling holds? - Sure. Weren't we, Barney?

Yeah, like this one.

It's called the body slam.

I guess men are just boys that never grow up.

And if they keep this up, they won't grow any older either.

- Hey, Fred. - Yeah, Barney.

You know, I've been thinking. It's a cinch...

we're not going to figure out how to dance from that book.

You know, I've been thinking the same thing.

Look, maybe we ought to go to one of those dancing schools?

Now you're talking.

We'll drop in at the Arthur Quarry Dance School...

right after work, and we'll sign up.

Yeah, okay, Fred. We'll stop by on the way home.

Here we are, Barney. Let's go in.

Gee, Fred, I'm kind of scared. Do you think we're doing the right thing?

Do you want to take the girls to the dance?

- But of course. - Then we're doing the right thing.

- There's no one here, Fred. Let's go home. - Wait a minute.

- Who's in charge? - Good evening, gentlemen.

Welcome to the Arthur Quarry Dance School.

- Can I help you, gentlemen? - Yes, ma'am, we want to learn to dance.

Well, you came to the right place.

We have a one year, all-inclusive course that will teach...

One year? We haven't got that much time.

There's our six month course...

but that doesn't include the Hopi Indian rain dance.

- The Hopi... - And if you ever met a Hopi Indian...

you'd just be out of luck.

- We'll have to take that chance. - But, Fred...

- We only got a week. - A week.

Then you'll need our crash course.

Four lessons a night, every night, and we might make it.

Good, we'll take it.

- But, Fred... - Stop interrupting, Barney.

- When do we start, lady? - Tonight, promptly at 8:30.

Barney-boy, we're all signed up.

We'll be a sensation on the dance floor by next week.

- But, Fred... - What is with this "But, Fred" stuff?

What's on your mind?

I was just wondering how we're going to get out of the house...

every night this week.

Barney, how come you wait till now to tell me?

You should've mentioned it before we signed up and paid out all that dough.

Well, I tried to tell you, Fred, but you wouldn't let me.

- I got another idea, Fred. - No, not again.

Why don't we join Joe Rockhead's Volunteer Fire Department?