Amber Alert

Okay, Sam, you ready? I'm gonna mic you up.

Caleb, thanks for helping out, man.

Thank you.

You're a good little brother,

even though you're adopted.

- Is he adopted? - No!

- Test the microphone. - Okay. Test, one, two...

This is the beginnings of Sam and Nate...

- Yes. - ...and we have spent

many years together as best friends...

- Yes. - ...and now, we're gonna

continue our adventure. - Our journey.

- Some... wait, wait. - Wait, wait.

So, this is what I do for a living.

It's a family-owned business, and you'll see here

we have a ton of different kinds of fish,

some morays, some red fins...

There he goes, Vincent. Okay.

Okay, so you take this, you put it in the bag,

and you fill it up.

This gives it oxygen so that they can live in there

for about 24 hours while they're traveling.

And you take it under here, you seal it,

and it's all ready to go. So, that is...

- " That's my life" - ...what my day job is.

" What a great job."

You wanna do a dance number on here?

" Oh, a-di-dee-di di-dee-di-dee di-dee-di-dee-di."

" We're pirates two, we're pirates three."

" We're pirates four and five."

- Hi, how are you? - Hey.

Please get off the structure.

- Sorry about that. - There you go.

- Sorry. - Thanks.

Okay, so we want to show you how resourceful we can be.

We're very resourceful. Winners are resourceful.

- So we have this thing called free time! - Free time!

Yes, free time.

What we do is we see how much fun we can have

and how long we can go without spending one dollar.

So, when we come play putt-putt,

we bring our own putters, and then I do this.

Balls galore!

Is that a good way to end it, Caleb?

Caleb, did you know that you sister was such an athlete?

So, we come here to blow off steam, to...

if we're upset about something,

we can come and just hit the balls and let it all out.

It's part of our free time.

So, we try to see how long we can go

without spending any money,

and we know the guy's here,

so they let us hit, and...

it's a lot of fun.

I really love going to batting cages.

You want more?

Should we just do our singing first?

It'd be another great way for us to express ourselves.

Not only that, but it'd be a great chance to travel.

- Sam here... - I've never left Arizona.

- Never left Arizona. - Not to say...

I've been down to Tucson,

and I've been up north,

but I've never left Arizona.

" She's never left Arizona."

And I really would love the opportunity to travel.

" She'd love the opportunity to travel."

It would be the first time I'd get to explore the world.

" Explore the world, circumnavigation."

And I would get to do it with my best friend,

so that would be even more fun.

" Best friends potty-trained together"

I'm pretty sure I was potty-trained before we met.

Okay, I w... I wasn't. I wasn't.

" Sam and Nate."

" Sam, the best woman and the best man."

Bam!

Sam, you are so beautiful blurry.

Why are you so blurry?

'Cause you're an idiot.

- Oh! Watch it, buddy. - Okay, well, let's go. We have one left.

Put this on you real quick.

Uh...

This is not an interesting shot at all.

Do you mind if we go somewhere else?

Um, let's go to the go-karts.

- No... - How about Camelback Mountain?

- We could hike up it... - Why are you laughing?

- ...and do talking. - Sounds good. Let's do that.

Okay. Let's do it. Go grab the car.

" Onward."

" Ho."

As we're going, we're going to finish

filling out our questionnaire.

We have about, like, 20 pages

worth of stuff that we have to fill out. - No... No...

- Too bad. You have to. - I have been procrastinating for the past month.

I don't want to fill those questions out.

- Okay. - There are too many.

- We're doing it anyway. - All right, fine.

"What is the worst"... I know, they always

have the hardest questions, too.

"What is the worst experience you've had with your teammate?"

Uh, let's see, I remember that one time

you came over and you weren't invited,

and you just knocked on the door, and I...

- Sorry, I... - "Excuse me, I just got out of the shower."

Um, no, it's hard to say with you.

You're so, like, little miss perfect.

I don't know, like, what's the worst thing you've ever done to me?

Oh, oh, that's easy for me.

Uh, the time you got so drunk

I had to baby-sit you for, like, six hours.

- When was that? - Okay, so Nate got so drunk,

and we went to a movie earlier,

and so he had eaten popcorn,

and he puked it up and then he tried to eat...

- I did not! That's sick! That's gross!

- You don't even remember anything from that night! - I did not do that.

- Don't film me eating this candy bar. - I got...

I got her that 'cause...

It's gonna make her big and fat,

and then she won't have any choice but to date me.

There'll be so much more of you to love!

"If a genii granted you one wish, what would it be?"

- Friends. - Okay, if the genii granted one wish...

- Uh, that's hard. - Maybe some better clothes.

- Okay. Okay. - One wish.

- Uh, my own theme park. - Okay.

I would want my own amusement park,

and I would build roller coasters

that were, like, themed after my friends.

Like, you would have your own roller coaster.

- Awesome. - The Sammy Roller Coaster.

- I'll come and sign autographs. - Yeah, definitely.

And it would be awesome because it would be

really, like, curvy like you.

- Thank you. - But it also will reflect your mood swings.

So, there would be one part that would be like, "Aah! ".

- And then another part would be... - Aw, how sad. Amber Alert.

What's an Amber Alert?

It's when a creepy dude puts you in the back of his truck

and tries to tickle your wiener.

- Ha ha ha... - Dude, you are nasty.

Okay, I think my one wish would be...

It's probably your scout master!

- That's not funny! That's not funny! - That's just a bonus.

- What... hey. - Next question is...

Wait. Sammy, hang on a second.

- Wait just one second. - Okay.

I'm not... okay. Is that a...

that's a gray Honda, right?

It looks... more blackish?

Steel, maybe? Steel?

Okay, um, pretty sure that's probably a gray Honda.

- What reality show... - That's a gray Honda there.

- What reality show contestant do you relate with? - That is a gray Honda.

- That's a gray Honda. - Okay, good job.

Oh, okay, well, on... on the thing,

on the sign thing it said gray Honda.

Are you trying to get out of these questions?

- Yes, I am. - We're almost done!

I definitely am trying to get out of the questions.

Stay focused. What reality show contestant do you relate to?

- I don't... - Come on!

I don't relate to reality...

first of all reality shows are the furthest thing away

from reality you could possibly get.

There's nothing about reality on those shows.

Okay, if you had to pick one...

and I'm saying that's a gray Honda,

And the sign said gray Honda.

Do you know how many gray Honda's there are?

That's probably the most common car

in the whole entire world.

- All right, okay. - If you had to pick

the most-selling car in the world, that's it.

Okay, but what if that's the one the sign is talking about?

Okay, the chances are very, very slim.

- I will bet you... - Okay...

- Okay, I will bet you... - Reality show!

You'll bet me that you'll finish the survey right now?

I mean, maybe.

I mean, that's kind of a big bet,

I don't think the sign said what color it was.

Okay, what reality show contestant do you relate with?

Uh, fine! Flavor Flave!

Okay, if another teammate...

I think that's the gray Honda.

There's no way that's the Honda.

I will bet you a million dollars.

I will bet you you stop asking me these stupid questions.

- If that's the gray Honda from the sign, - All right, stay focused!

- Come on, we're almost done with this. - Sam! Sam, wait!

- Stay focused! - No, Sam, I don't want to do this anymore.

Why am I wasting tape on this?

- Who wants to watch... - Shh! Listen.

If this is the car, then you have to stop asking me these questions.

Okay, if this is the car, you can...

- Okay. - ...I will throw these out the window.