Sensitive Skin

Have you used this medication before?

- Yes, I have. - Remove the patch from the pouch,

peel off the plastic backing and press onto the skin.

Yes.

Apply below the waist to the buttocks or thighs.

- Do not apply to a hairy area. - Right.

- Or to the breasts. - Yes, I know. Thank you.

And, how long have you been on hormone replacement therapy?

Ten years-ish, um...

Eleven.

- You are over 50? - Yes. May I have it?

Are you aware of the negative side effects associated

- with prolonged use of HRT? - I am.

Nausea, headaches, migraines, dizziness,

general disorientation, memory loss, palpitations,

hot flashes, increased blood pressure, stroke, heart disease,

and increased risk of cancer of the breast, uterus,

- ovaries and fallopian tubes... - But on the plus side,

it makes you look younger.

Visa?

Well, why don't you just get a haircut?

Excuse me?

Yeah, you can't get ovarian cancer from a haircut.

If you wanna look younger, why not just get a haircut?

Why don't you just shut the fuck up and give me my hormones, hm?

S01E01 The Other Davina

- Hi. - Hi, they're releasing an Anne Murray box set,

and the paper wants me to write about it, so it's been Anne all day.

I'm saturated with Murray. Do you like her?

I like Anne Murray.

I don't particularly like Anne Murray

but I'm trying to give her a chance.

I've listened to Snowbird maybe 15 times

so it's safe to say I'm going mad basically.

At first, it was like being suffocated by a high-quality down pillow but...

now the song's growing on me, it's growing on me.

The snowbird sings of flowers that will bloom again in the spring, right?

So he represents the promise of renewal and rebirth.

But for the protagonist... let's just call her Anne Murray

for the sake of discussion... for the protagonist,

the coming spring is just a continuation of her cycle of suffering.

She longs to escape her despair,

but she doesn't have the strength.

It's shattering, really. She's trapped

in this never-ending innovating misery.

Can you imagine?

Yeah.

So, do you think gene maclellan read James Joyce?

- Who's that? - He wrote Snowbird.

I think he did. I think they both did.

I think it's blatantly obvious they did.

Any progress on the furniture deal?

This urban camping's fun and all but a couch would do it.

I'd be so happy with a couch.

I'm looking for a very particular couch

and there's certain criteria that need to be met.

Oh no, that makes me nervous.

May I request that one of the criteria be comfort?

How about this? Anne Murray's masterworks:

Snowbird and the application of Joycean death imagery.

- God, you've really come around. - I'm a fan, yes. Yes.

Well, it's a little academic for the lifestyle section.

Maybe so, maybe so.

The footnotes are probably a mistake.

Do you like my hair?

I love your hair.

Oh God, the drug dealer's back.

- Don't look. - Well, why do you assume he's a drug dealer?

It's not because he's black.

- You're profiling. - No, it's because of the way he's standing.

- The way he's standing? - Don't look.

With his hands deep in his pocket like he's counting his wares.

- His wares. Jesus. - Yes, he's fingering his pills.

Amphetamines? Check. Acid? Check.

- Oh, running low on ecstasy. - You're an idiot.

He wouldn't have the drugs on him. He has a stash somewhere.

- Well how would you know that? - Because of the biker.

The biker?

Sheryl and I used to buy hash from this fat biker

behind Sam's and he would make us wait while he waddled

down the alley to his stash, and that's what this guy would do

if he was actually a drug dealer.

Instead of a professional loiterer?

Why don't you ask him? Go on.

Go ask the black man if he's a drug dealer.

Come on, let me in. Let me in.

Ah, see that?

Eight cylinders come in handy.

- When you're a racist. - What?

What do you think? There'll be 9 more on this wall.

What?

Veiled mirrors.

David Gordon's exploration of his Jewish heritage.

He's making reference to how they cover the mirrors

when they're sitting shivah.

I think it's frustrating that I can't see my face.

- Oh, I guess that's the point. - I have to say it's a huge relief

not to see my reflection when I look in the mirror.

That's a ridiculous thing to say. You're a handsome man.

You're over 50, so what? You're ugly now?

You can be ugly at any age, Sam.

- It was a joke. - Well, it was a stupid joke.

I hated it. Never make it again.

Have you done something to your hair?

♺ What I love forever is untrue ♺

♺ and if I could, you know... ♺

Anne Murray? Really?

- Orlando, I'm thrilled. - Why?

Because you finally came. Come on in, I'll give you the tour.

- Dad, I don't want a tour. - Well, come on in

and have a beer. I mean, this is your home too.

Is it?

Well, no. Not technically, no.

No, not in any way. The place I call home,

you know, the one I grew up in? Yeah, you sold to buy this

notably one bedroom cyber-loft. Nice.

Well come in, you'll like it. It's young and brooding.

I'm not coming in. I didn't come here to come in!

Ok, Orlando, why did you come? I mean, like I said,

you're welcome here anytime.

That tone makes you sound like you're speaking to a psychotic person.

Why are you here?

To drop William off. You're taking him for the weekend.

- Oh. Ok. - She didn't tell you, did she?

- Well no. I guess she forgot. - Of course she did.

Of course 'cause he's a dog, not a grandson.

- Ah, are we going there again? - No, we can go somewhere else.

About how your midlife crisis is eroding my inheritance?

We'd be happy to take William for the weekend.

Thank you. Don't forget to feed him.

We won't forget to feed him! Jesus!

- Just saying he's on the "prey" diet now. - The what?

Prey diet. Only whole animals. He likes Guinea fowl

or rabbit, if you can find it.

Ok. Well, let's go hunt down some Guinea fowl.

You know, first the hair, then the husband.

It was just the hair and it was...

Just a blow-out.

First, you change your hair.

Then, you hire a personal trainer.

Then, you screw the personal trainer.

Then, you lose 20 pounds because of the shame associated

with being naked in front of a personal trainer

on a regular basis.

Then, the lies start spilling from your lips.

First, to justify the weight loss, then the chronic lateness,

the missed meals, frequent showers.

Then, the stupid arguments begin over tiny, stupid things.

Like, um, "why do you never wash the car?"

Or, "how can I eat with you breathing like that?"

Then the stony silences kick in

followed by... Trial separation,

the chilling letter from the lawyer,

and before you know it, you're sitting on a barstool

trying to remember how to date.

Oh, poor Sam.

Was that the way it was with you and cherry?

Bangs. She got bangs. Could it be more obvious?

Well I'm not gonna get bangs. I'm not gonna leave Al.

I've been married to him for 30 years.

We have a son. We have a vintage jag.

Why would I want to leave all that?

Well I'd give you the jag but remember, I have met your son.

- Monica broke up with me. - Oh, God!

- Sorry if I'm annoying you. - No, I'm being supportive.

I feel sorry for you. - Dad, I don't want your pity.

Oh, God! You see? Now that was annoyance.

- What happened? - She left me

- because I have no sperm. - Oh, come on, lots of men

with low sperm counts have relationships.

No sperm. Remember, dad? They didn't find any.

Not a single one. We've been over this.

Ok, fine, but I'm sure there are a hundred other reasons.

You know what I mean. Maybe it was just attrition or something.

$27 for rodent.

Hey, did you do anything weird to my immature testicles?

What kind of a question is that? I never did anything

to your testicles, immature or otherwise.

I mean I cleaned them.

I thought your doctor said it was compromised vas deferens?

- Yeah, and how did that happen I wonder? - What?

You suggesting I compromised them? I don't know where they are!

I don't know, maybe if you didn't let me spend so much time

- in Uncle Rogers' hot tub... - Look. I know it's convenient for you

to blame your parents for everything that's gone wrong in your life,

but while you're alone processing your bachelorhood

and your empty vessels, think about this:

Not everything has a cause. Sometimes, we are visited by tragedy.

It's random, it has no meaning.

Ok, so I guess that means you're finally admitting

that we live in a godless universe.

No, I'm not. I'm just trying to make you feel better. Ok?

It's not working.

- Well, I'll see you Monday. - Yeah.

And maybe you can actually come in and have a beer or something.

Bye. Willy, never have kids.

Oh, shit!

: Veiled mirrors. The exhibit opens Friday.

- (Woman): Yeah. - (Woman): It's about the fact

that we can't see our true selves when we look in the mirror.