Waiting...

Home sweet home.

Thanks, Cochise.

No, you fucking idiot! I've worked at a restaurant my whole life.

Shit! It gonna be that kind of a party.

I'm gonna stick my dick in the mashed potatoes!

- Guess who. Hi, Dean. lt's Mom. - Ah, shit.

L know you're not gonna forget lunch with me,

but l thought l'd calljust to make sure.

Oh, hey.

I forgot you were here.

Yeah, I know. I know.

- What? - Nothing.

I'll see you at work, okay?

Hey, there, Natasha. How's my favorite minor doing today?

H ung over. I got so shitty last night.

On a school night?

Kids today...

I must say, there's nothing more attractive than tainted youth.

Yes. I am indeed a pervert.

- Does that offend you? - Nope.

I think that most tainted youths end up being perverts.

Good answer.

Oh, and Monty, just so you know,

I'm only a minor for another week.

I turn 1 8 on Wednesday.

Well, then I guess I better hurry up then. I don't have much time.

- Hey, Dan. - Hey, Monty.

- How you doing? - Good. This is Mitch. It's his first day.

I want you to show him around. Train him on everything while it's slow,

and when the dinner rush hits, we'll have him watch the training videos.

Mitch, just listen to what Monty says today,

and we'll have you out on the floor by early next week.

- Sound good? - Yeah.

All right then. Give him a quick tour before your shift starts.

Good stuff.

Well, Mitch, first thing. You ever worked in a restaurant before?

- Actually, yeah... - Well, it doesn't really matter anyway.

Working in a restaurant's all about learning a routine.

Everything that Dan wants me to show you, teach you,

all that can be learned in a few hours.

But...

if you wanna work here,

in this restaurant,

I really think that you need to ask yourself

one simple question.

How do you feel about frontal male nudity?

- What the heck... - Pretty fucked up, huh?

You see, the reason that I ask is most of the guys that work here

like to play this little game that involves flashing their genitalia to each other.

- Are you serious? - Yes, I'm serious.

Now, the exact object of the game is to get the other participants

to unknowingly look at your testicles and/or penis.

And if they do, you ridicule them mercilessly for being a fag

and get to kick them in the ass.

- But that's... - I know. I know.

It's demented, depraved, senseless.

All true.

Now there are rules to the game,

different variations on how to show your dick and/or balls,

which allow for more kicks.

But we're gonna get into that later.

Right now, the first thing that you have to do

Is look deep inside yourself and figure out if you can take an eyeful of that.

So are you taking any interesting classes this semester?

Well, yeah. I'm only taking the two classes,

but I like them both.

I really like my teachers. Cool guys.

Both have mustaches, which is a little weird.

- Well, that's just terrific. - Yeah.

- Guess who I ran into yesterday? - Who's that?

Nancy Miller and her son Chett. You remember Chett Miller, don't you?

Oh, yeah. I remember Chett. Yeah.

- I haven't seen that guy since high school. - Well, he was away at college.

Right.

Didn't you two have all the same honors classes together?

Yeah, we sure did.

- Yeah, it sounds like he's doing really well. - I'll bet.

Seems he just graduated with a bachelor's degree in electrical engineering.

Wow! H is parents must really be proud, huh?

Well, I'm gonna go. Always love these get-togethers.

I think we really broke through there.

Let me tell you something. My trainer, that bastard,

he didn't pre-warn me at all.

He set me up big time.

- Right around that corner. - Okay.

Look at the log, bitch.

There are few things in this world more unsettling

than going into the back to grab condiments,

and ending up staring at a huge, steaming pile of cock.

Hey, Serena.

- Hey, babe. - What's up, hangover?

I'm not hung over.

- Oh, you and Monty were crazy last night. - Yeah, it was cool.

How about you? You have a good time?

I would've had a better time if somebody hadn't been ignoring me all night.

Was that me?

Think Monty and I got a little carried away.

- Oh, I swear, when you two are together... - You're perverts! All of you.

If you guys can go five minutes without referencing your genitals, I'll be amazed.

I know what you're thinking now.

You think we're all gay, don't you?

Think we're all just a bunch of deviant lifestyle-living,

same-sex having motherfuckers, am I right?

- Yeah. - Well, listen.

You can put that faggoty baby to bed right now.

None of the guys that work here are gay.

I mean, I'll stick my finger in my ass every now and again when I'm feeling squirrelly,

but that's about the extent of it.

It's absolutely true. I've seen him do it.

See what I mean? Perverts.

Hey, I've seen you use more than a finger.

- Oh! - Bye, babe.

- What's up, buddy? - Nothing, man. What's going on?

What? What?

- What's wrong? - I'll tell you later.

Listen, man. You got nothing to worry about. It's just a game.

- Exactly. - And besides, you know,

if heterosexual men can't show their cocks to each other,

- then what the hell are we doing here? - Amen, brother.

You're adorable.

Hey, Bishop. This is Mitch.

He's the new guy.

Mitch,

I want you to do a couple things for me.

First, I want you to observe very closely your surroundings today.

Take everything in.

Leave no mental stone unturned.

Can you do that for me, Mitch?

Good.

Then I want you think about what your life would be like

if you had been born blind.

Thanks, Bishop.

Go. Go, go, go, go, go.

As you can see, this is a wait station.

This is where you're gonna get the ice, the soft drinks, the condiments,

the doggie bags, etc., and so forth.

That's the computer where you're gonna put the food and drink orders in.

I hate this fucking place sometimes, you know.

Why the fuck do we need four more people on at this time of day, man?

Look at this place! It's fucking dead.

I swear, Dan needs to clean the shit out of his fucking brain sometimes, man.

Fucking asshole. What are you looking at, fuckwad?

That's Naomi. And she's been working here way too long.

But she's actually a pretty sweet girl when she's drunk. Let's go.

Come on, baby. It's nothing like that.

It's true. You just treat me like a piece of meat.

Not just any piece of meat, baby. A prime rib.

- Really? - Baby, you're oozing with sexuality.

Yeah, but why does it always have to be about my looks?

I mean, just 'cause I dress slutty doesn't mean I am slutty.

Okay. This is for deliveries.

There's the Dumpster for the trash.

Also, if you wanna get out of the restaurant and chill out for a second, here you go.

And these two fun-loving pieces of wannabe gangster shit

are N ick and Theodore.

How many fucking times I told you, man? It's the fucking T-Dog, yo.

- Sorry, G. - Hey, yo, bitch.

What makes you think I won't cut you?

Come on, now, dog.

You know I'm just fucking with you.

You know I give you the mad, phat, superfly, stupid-dope,

dumb-ass, retarded, bomb-shit props.

Yo, it's almost 4:20, dog. Let's go.

Those guys should be sterilized. And I'm not kidding at all.

You don't talk much, do you, Mitch?

- Actually, you haven't really given... - That's okay.

'Cause I didn't talk much when I first started working here either.

You just gotta get used to your surroundings.

- What's up, Poncho? - Hey, Raddimus. How you doing?

Actually, more importantly, how are you and Danielle doing?

I saw that you guys were arguing, and...

Shit, you know, it would be a shame if you guys broke up.

You two are really good together.

Fuck off, okay. Even if we did break up, you stand no chance in hell, man.

She got this thing about dating grown men who've had sex with 1 6-year-old girls.

See, that's the problem with women, okay?

They're always trying to project their own values on you.

Whatever. Anyway, look, this is Mitch.

He just started today, so I thought I'd give you the pleasure

of explaining the finer points of the game to him.

Oh, virgin blood. Follow me.

Come here. I wanna talk to you.

Thanks, Raddimus. Be gentle.

- There you go, Dean. - Aw, thanks, Tyla. You rock.

Yeah, Tyla, you're the coolest girl in the whole school.

Hey, man.

Tyla, every time I look at you, I wish I was a lesbian.

Oh, what a coincidence. Every time I look at you,

- I'm glad I'm a lesbian. - Ouch.

Oh, hey, Christy. It's just Calvin calling.

J ust starting to work the double.

You owe me.

No, I was kidding. You don't really owe me anything.

So, I was just calling you, 'cause it's kind of dead here right now.

So, I don't know...

Give me a call back. I'm at work.

Duh. Duh.

Come on. Talk to me, goose. What's wrong?

Remember Chett Miller from high school?

Tall guy, kind of smelled like my dad's ass?