Beavis and Butt-head (Beavis and Butt-Head)

Music

Yeah, boner watch.

This is gonna be cool.

Yeah.

Morning wood.

I saw a dog with morning wood once.

It's all like when you say you saw a dog with morning wood.

Do you mean like you had a wood drawer or the dog did?

Um, me.

We both did.

Check this out.

Do you have any horses?

No, we only have wild animals here.

How about like really big dogs?

Wild animals only.

So like do you have any wood peckers?

Wood peckers.

Why don't you kids go and know the animals or something?

What?

Yeah.

Is this allosant chains?

Yeah.

Wow.

They sure look different.

Maybe it's because I had to like you know clean themselves up you know because it's a slow song.

Yeah.

I'll buy that.

Oh, wow.

Crazy.

You remember that time we went to the circus?

We saw that clown.

And then I like him pulls out my pants.

Whoa, check it out.

I just saw a nipple.

But it looked.

Where?

It was like right at the end of a boob.

Davis, that's just a puppet nipple.

I don't know why we.

That's just like a chick made out of clay, Davis.

Oh, hey.

Yeah, but you had a nipple on it.

Be a little.

I could go get some clay now and make a boob with a nipple on it.

So what?

Wait a minute.

You have some clay?

No.

Damn.

Next time they have a clay project in school.

I'm going to make a big boob.

Maybe a butt too.

Yeah, last time you just made an ash tray.

It sucked.

Well, you made a baseball.

Oh, yeah.

The teacher called me a lazy turd.

He hasn't made that.

Yeah, but not out of clay.

Which is so long that the elephant uses it to feed himself.

That would be cool.

Yeah.

But I don't see it.

Where is it?

Where?

Uh, his nose is like in the way.

Are there any questions back there?

Yeah, yeah.

Who has the biggest, uh, you know, thingy?

What do you mean?

It means like, which animals have the biggest thingies?

Oh, yeah.

Not too.

Well, I suppose it depends on what you mean by thingies.

Drafts do have very long necks.

Unfortunately, our giraffe is laid up with a pulled grime muscle.

That long.

Yes, well, next on our tour is a gorilla.

This animal's natural habitat is the jungles of Central Africa

and his diet includes...

When he's bad or something, do you ever like have to spank your monkey?

No, we don't permit any violence towards any of our animals.

As I was saying, the gorilla's diet includes...

Because Beavis would be happy to spank his monkey.

Shut up, Dilly!

What, why?

Gentlemen, if you can't behave yourselves, I'll have to ask you to leave the tour.

Uh, okay.

Yeah, okay.

Nuh-uh, no problem.

Nuh-uh, ha, ha, ha, nuh-uh.

The female zebra's reluctance to mate is difficult to comprehend.

Since the male of the species is extremely well endowed.

As you can see.

Whoa!

Torsoc!

Yeah.

They never talk about anything cool.

Coming up next, Budhead helps an old lady across Snake River Canyon.

Stay tuned.

All these animals must have been like...

Sprayed or something.

And some of them like...

Cut their weeners off.

And their baths too.

This zoo sucks.

Let's get out of here.

Yeah, really.

Whoa!

Snakes.

Yeah, cool.

Whoa, are they gonna show a movie?

We're in the snake home, fart knocker.

They have to keep it dark because of the snakes.

It like makes them scarier or something.

Oh yeah.

Cool.

There's like snakes everywhere.

Yeah.

You know, I bet like lots of chicks get real excited in this place.

Especially if a snake like escapes from its cage or something.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You don't excite them.

Go.

Snake.

Snake.

Did he say a snake escaped?

Yeah.

He escaped snake.

Oh my god.

Where?

Oh, he escaped snake.

Oh, he escaped snake.

Yeah, I know where he escaped snake.