Love Actually

Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world,

I think about the arrivals gate at Heathrow airport.

General opinion started to make out

that we live in a world of hatred and greed,

but I don't see that.

Seems to me that love is everywhere.

Often it's not particularly dignified or newsworthy,

but it's always there.

Fathers and sons, mothers and daughters,

husbands and wives,

boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends.

When the planes hit the Twin Towers,

as far as I know, none of the phone calls from the people on board

were messages of hate or revenge.

They were all messages of love.

If you look for it, I've got a sneaky feeling

you'll find that love actually is all around.

I feel it in my fingers

I feel it in my toes

Feel it in my toes, yeah

Love is all around me And so the...

I'm afraid you did it again, Bill.

It's just, I know the old version so well, you know.

Well, we all do.

That's why we're making the new version.

Right, okay, let's go.

I feel it in my fingers

In my fingers

I feel it in my toes

Feel it in my toes, yeah

Love is all...

Fuck, wank, bugger, shitting ass head and hole.

Start again.

I feel it in my fingers

In my fingers

I feel it in my toes

Feel it in my toes, yeah

Christmas is all around me

All around me

And so the feeling grows

So the feeling grows

It's written in the wind

In the wind

It's everywhere I go

Everywhere I go

So if you really love Christmas

Love Christmas

Come on and let it snow

Come on and let it...

This is shit, isn't it?

Yep, solid gold shit, maestro.

God, I'm so late.

It's just round the corner. You'll make it.

You sure you don't mind me going without you?

No, really. I'm just feeling so rotten.

I love you.

I know.

I love you even when you're sick and look disgusting.

I know. Now, go or you will actually miss it.

Right.

Did I mention that I love you?

Yes, you did. Get out, loser.

Karen, it's me again.

I'm sorry, I literally don't have anyone else to talk to.

Absolutely. Horrible moment right now, though. Can I call you back?

Of course.

Doesn't mean I'm not terribly concerned that your wife just died.

Understood.

Bugger off, call me later.

So what's this big news then?

We've been given our parts in the nativity play...

...and I'm the lobster.

The lobster? Yeah.

In the nativity play?

Yeah. First lobster.

There was more than one lobster present at the birth of Jesus?

Duh.

Best sandwiches in Britain.

Try my lovely nuts?

Beautiful muffin for a beautiful lady.

Morning, my future wife.

Okay, you can stop there. Thanks.

I'm gonna need a couple of orange gels, please, mate.

And by the way, he introduced me as John,

but actually everyone calls me Jack.

Fine. Nice to meet you, Jack.

He got me right, though. I'm just Judy.

Great, Just Judy!

No surprises? No surprises.

Not like the stag night?

Unlike the stag night.

Do you admit the Brazilian prostitutes were a mistake?

I do.

And it would've been much better if they'd not turned out to be men?

That is true.

Good luck, kiddo.

(SHOUTING) Prime Minister!

Thank you.

Welcome, Prime Minister.

I must work on my wave.

How are you?

How are you feeling?

Cool. Powerful.

Would you like to meet your household staff?

Yes, I would like that very much indeed.

Anything to put off actually running the country.

This is Terence. He's in charge.

Good morning, sir. Good morning.

I had an uncle called Terence once.

Hated him. I think he was a pervert.

But I very much like the look of you.

This is Pat. Hello, Pat.

Good morning, sir. I'm the housekeeper.

Right. It should be a lot easier with me than with the last lot.

No nappies, no teenagers, no scary wife.

And this is Natalie. She's new, like you.

Hello, Natalie. Hello, David.

I mean, sir.

Shit, I can't believe I've just said that.

And now I've gone and said "shit." Twice. I'm so sorry, sir.

It's fine, it's fine. You could've said "fuck"

and then we'd have been in real trouble. Thank you, sir.

I did have an awful premonition I was gonna fuck up on my first day.

Oh, piss it!

Right, I'll go get my things and then let's fix the country, shall we?

Yeah, I can't see why not.

It's all right. Did you see what I did?

Yes, I did. I just went...

Hello, there.

I'm right over here.

Yeah, I'm in here. Okay. Good. Thank you.

Oh, no. That is so inconvenient.

In the presence of God, Peter and Juliet have given their consent

and made their marriage vows to each other.

They've declared their marriage by the giving and receiving of rings.

I therefore proclaim that they are husband and wife.

And you resisted the temptation for surprises.

Yeah, I'm mature now.

Love, love, love

Love, love, love

Did you do this?

No.

Love, love, love, love

There's nothing you can do that can't be done

It...

There's nothing you can sing that can't be sung

There's nothing you can say but you can learn how to play the game

It's easy

All you need is love

All you need is love

All you need is love, love

Love is all you need...

Look, it's Pikey.

Hello! What the hell are you doing here?

I just popped over to borrow some old CDs.

The lady of the house let you in, did she?

Yeah.

Lovely, obliging girl.

Yeah.

All right, I just thought I'd pop back

before the reception and see if she's better.

This is good. Listen, I've been thinking.

I think perhaps we ought to take

Mum out for her birthday on Friday. What do you think?

I just feel we've been bad sons this year.

Okay, sounds fine. A bit boring but fine.

Hurry up, big boy!

I'm naked, and I want you at least twice before Jamie gets home.

I am so happy to see you!

A delicious delicacy?

No, thanks.

Taste explosion?

Food? No, thanks.

Yeah, a bit dodgy, isn't it? Looks like a dead baby's finger.

Tastes like it, too.

I'm Colin, by the way.

I'm Nancy. Wicked.

What do you do, Nancy? I'm a cook.

Ever do weddings? Yes, I do.

They should've asked you to do this one.

They did.

God, I wish you hadn't have turned it down.

I didn't.

Right.

I've just worked out why I can never find true love.

Why is that?

English girls. They're stuck up, you see.

And I am primarily attractive to girls

who are, you know, cooler, game for a laugh.

Like American girls. So I should just go to America.

I would get a girlfriend there instantly.

What do you think?

I think it's crap, Colin.

That's where you're wrong.

American girls would seriously dig me with my cute British accent.

You don't have a cute British accent.

Yes, I do! I'm going to America.