Somebody's Mother

Anna.

Anna, can you hear me?

I need your help.

I don't know what's wrong with me.

It's so weird, I've got this weird feeling

like everything's moving so fast,

and I'm not in my body.

It's so weird, I can't explain it,

Anna, it's like I'm not in my body, it's so,

I feel like something's really wrong with me.

I can't explain.

No, Anna, my heart, I can't really breath.

Come now, Anna, please.

Hi.

I was having an anxiety attack,

but I feel better now.

Clare, it's gonna get better, it will.

I could just stay here for a little bit,

and be here for you, okay?

Okay?

Okay.

Clare, this is Jacob!

I am trying to reach Anna,

something terrible has happened,

I can't get in touch with her, she disappeared!

Mommy, get me out the car!

Clare, it's Jacob.

Are you asleep?

I'm sleeping, Clare.

I got it Clare, I got it.

Jacob, please stop yelling at me.

No, tomorrow, please.

- I'm trying to be available for a solution

to be loving and supportive,

and keep going, you know, be grateful for what I have,

and not just focus on what I've lost.

I want to hear from you guys.

I'm too scared to get pregnant again.

After two miscarriages, I don't know if I want to.

Thank you.

Joe, somethin'?

Yeah, I had a shitty week.

I started my period.

Spent that morning on the bathroom floor

cursing my husband.

And then, you know, cursing myself.

And then at work, one of my coworkers

found out she's pregnant with her third.

An accident, of course.

And I was just angry.

I am...

Angry all of the time.

My wife's not working,

I'm doing these long hours,

and the doctor said that...

That she can't have a kid...

Anymore.

I just want to express to the whole group

and people that I'm really angry.

I lost my baby about nine months ago.

He had a really bad infection,

and it just spread throughout his body,

and he couldn't fight it.

We kept thinking he would fight it.

We kept hoping he would fight it,

And...

He couldn't.

So, we took him off life support after 11 days,

so he lived, for 11 days, he lived.

And then, we took him off,

and then when he went off he like put his little hands up,

and his hands went like this, you know,

they went in like this little position

like he had found some kind of peace.

And it was weird because it was like

we all found some weird piece when he did that.

It was like he got to be free of the pain

of this world, somehow.

And I think we did the best thing for him

because he just seemed happy.

Then in the room, which just felt like

there was something else there, you know,

something really beautiful and bright.

But I just don't know why he had to go through it.

I didn't know why he had to have so much pain.

I felt like I should have a child

because everybody was having children at that time,

and I didn't really feel this huge calling to have a child,

but I guess I went to college,

I started my business, and I guess,

the next thing to do was to have a child,

so I had a child and...

I didn't feel this deep connection to him when he was born.

I loved him, but I...

I didn't feel this deep overwhelming connection.

He was a difficult baby, he was colicky,

and I would have to stay up with him night after night...

Sleep well, baby.

Shh, shh, shh, shh, go to sleep.

Do we have to? Please.

- I really don't want to. - Clare, Clare.

- Anna, you come with me. - This is my best friend.

- I can't believe you're making me do this, Michael.

Clare, just an hour, okay?

Hey guys.

Hey, beautiful.

Nice to see you!

Thank you for coming.

Thank you, thank you.

I should of taken, maybe I should take my Ativan.

Oh my God, I'm starting to see like little weird,

like refracted light in the corners of my eyes.

Just breath, breath, alright.

Ann, I can't see properly.

There's something wrong with my eye.

In my eye, there's some kind of weird thing happening,

I can't explain, Anna.

Oh my God, it feels really weird.

- Can you get me my meds? - Okay, okay, okay.

Okay, but don't be long.

Oh my God.

I'm just scared, I'm gonna duck down,

I'm gonna duck down so no one can see me.

Hmm.

I can do this, I can do this.

Alright, I can do this, I can do this,

I can do this for Michael, I can do this, I can do this.

We're having to meditate,

I'm gonna meditate.

- Here, get up, I have your purse, is this what you want?

- My God you took so long, oh my God, thank you.

I don't wanna take these.

- Okay, just get up, let's go get some food, okay.

Just get up.

- You're gonna make me throw up on an empty stomach.

Can I have one?

- Sorry Anna, I just wanna escape here.

Clare?

Just pretend you don't see them.

Clare.

Put this is your purse.

Okay, you know what?

Yeah, let's go over, let's go over,

I'll take my drink.

Yeah, hi!

- Hi! Thank you so much for coming.

Hi!

Hey Clare, how are you doin'?

How are you?

Good to see you.

Good to see you.

Clare's sister, Anna.

Hey! How are you?

Good, thanks.

How's your little one?

- Oh, he's not little anymore, he's almost four.

I'll be right back.

Where are you going?

- God, time flies, she was such a beautiful pregnant woman.

She never gained an ounce,

and I just feel fat.

- That's so true, that's what happens, right?

Around the arms, that's where it really shows.

Right.

- It shows first in the arms, and then yeah,

I can see how like it's already aging you a little bit.

You know, it does do that, right, when...

- Do you think you guys will try for another baby?

I don't know, we never really have sex.

What do you think?

I, I, nah, it doesn't look like it's in the cards really.

He's always too tired, so, you know.

But you know, how's it going with you?

Do you have a good doctor?

Oh, yeah.

- Yeah, we lucked out, we got a really great...

Oh, you think so?

Because mine was supposed to be good, you know,

everybody said he was a really good doctor,

he's like high ratings and everything.

So, be careful, you can never trust your doctor,

okay, I'm just telling you...

We got somebody great.

Yeah, but you have to be careful.

You have to be your own doctor, okay?

So, things to really watch out for is the water.

Their pumping fluoride into our water supply,

and it's causing cancers,

it's causing so many birth defects

in especially pregnant women and babies,

so I would just, don't drink any, any water if you can.

I recently saw a psychic,

and the psychic told me, you know, the psychic,

she's not just a psychic,

but she channels spirits and she channels baby spirits

and things like that,

and she told me that the reason my baby got an infection

is because it was channeled through the cellphone.

So now, if your pregnant you're more,

something about the rays,