Little Mosque on the Prairie

- Hi, - Hey!

- I'm looking for... Florence. - Man, Florence...

- She's gone. - Really? I'm sorry.

No. It's all right, she's in a better place now.

Took a job at the Odayna Gazette.

- You must be the new editor-in-chief. - And reporter, and photographer.

Plus I'm in charge of the jumble.

- Nate shore. - Hi, I'm Amaar, the imam from the mosque?

Walk and talk with me, Amaar the imam from the mosque.

- What can I do for you? - I'm here to drum up some press.

Can you hold this for me?

- Sure. - Thanks, man.

The mosque has joined forces with Mercy Meals.

We're going to deliver food to the elderly and needy who can't leave home.

A little to the left.

Yeah, I guess you could say it's a little left,

but you don't have to be socialist to care.

No man, that thing you're holding, can you move it a little to the left?

- Uh... yeah. - All right, up on your tippy toes now.

Up, up, up. Okay, good.

Anyway, I was hoping Mercy Chronicle would cover it.

You know, get the word out, alert the community.

That's good, let's do it.

- Really? You want to come right now? - Not right now. I got stuff to do.

Okay.

It's good!

Okay, let's do this.

Season 3 Episode 11 True Bromance

- Congratulations, brother Yasir. - Thank you, Fatima. Thank you.

I might have won this award, but it is for the small business man of the year.

There is no way a woman can win.

Well, that's why we created small business woman of the year award.

How... nice for her.

What a bloody waste of taxpayers' money.

Oh! Salmon puffs!

- Honey, this is so exciting. - Do you have your speech ready?

Why do I need a speech when I can just look out to the crowd

and remember the only two reasons why I'm here?

You're going to forget. He's going to forget

Oh, let's get this over with!

Isn't he great? You are great! C'mon.

- So what's your story? - It's pretty simple, really.

I was a lawyer in Toronto

but I realized I could do more good following a different path.

- What about you? - Same exact thing!

Except instead of being a lawyer, I got fired from a bunch of different jobs,

and instead of finding God, I went to journalism school.

- Well, the press is a noble profession. - Absolutely.

Righting wrongs, exposing corruption.

Plus the hours are wicked flexible, and I like to sleep in.

So... What's the game plan here?

Well, we are going to deliver each of these coolers to a person in need.

Let's see, what do we got?

Meatloaf! Peas!

God! No wonder these people are hungry!

Stop that. That's for the needy.

What these people 'need-y' is some good food.

- See what I did there? - Very clever.

Idea! I know this place off the highway that makes the best wings.

- Okay... - We should stop there

and get some ridiculously good wings for the Mercy Meals people.

Picture that... Ohh, chicken wings! Awesome!

Mmm, and I thought it was going to be something crappy, like meatloaf and peas.

Fine! We will go to the wing place. But just for a second.

Don't do it for me, do it for the needy... and the hungry.

Which also happens to be me at this moment.

- Would just get in the van, please? - All right!

I'm Yasir Hamoudi...

- Small businessman of the year. - Yeah, I know. I read the sign.

- Oh... that old thing. - You are?

It's okay, you don't have to pretend to learn my name.

I don't pretend, I do. That's what sets us small businessmen of the year apart.

So let's have it.

Why? So we can make this awkward 30-second interaction more meaningful?

- You're certainly making it more awkward. - Sorry.

It's been a long day. It's Susan.

Susan! I'll remember Susan.

Black-eyed Susan. Lazy Susan.

Yeah, thanks a lot.

And now, the small businessman with a great big heart...

Sheesh, do I have to say that? Yasir Hamoudi!

- I don't know, Nate. - Trust me. It'll be fine.

- Have I ever steered you wrong before? - Nate, I've only known you an hour.

- But yes! It's a bar. - Amaar, Amaar, Amaar. This isn't a bar.

This is a restaurant-bar.

And the difference is?

I don't know. There's gotta be one, right? Hence the sign.

Look, I don't drink. It's against my beliefs.

- Your beliefs, or your religion? - Aren't they the same thing?

- I don't know, are they? - Stop that.

- You got a lot of rules, rule guy. - They're not rules, they're my beliefs,

which I choose to follow.

All I'm hearing is, "I choose this", "my beliefs that".

What about the people who don't have a choice?

The Mercy Meals people who will go sadly wingless because we can't go in Shooters?

Okay, fine!

We will get the wings from the restaurant. Then we'll leave.

- Great, you took me to a theme bar. - Only if the theme is hot ladies!

- I think it is, yes. - It's a good theme.

A pound of five-alarm and six pounds of kiss of death.

Great. Let's go.

We'll have the rest of your order out in a flash, Nate.

Rest of your order?

Thanks, Cassandra. Hey, I meant to ask last time.

Is that Cassandra with a "C" or Cassandra with a "K"?

- "C". - Well, let's make sure we "c" each other again.

- See what I did there? - As always... yes. Let's go.

- We hear it's someone's birthday! - Whose birthday? No birthday here.

Guesssss what?! 1-2-3!

There's a party over here! This guy's older by a year

Hope you have an awesome day! Booze and ribs on us, okay?!

And with at least 25 small businesses in Mercy,

I can't believe that you chose me as recipient, in this,

the 25th year of the award, thank you.

Do you know what the "businesswoman of the year" does?

- Gives haircuts to dogs. - Yes, yes, you already told me.

Dogs!

I'd like to point out the two reasons why I'm here today...

and they thought I would forget, but I'm not. I'm not going to forget.

I'd like to thank my daughter, Rayyan, for keeping me grounded.

And who could ever forget my lovely Susan.

Without her, this would not be possible.

Thank you very much, Mercy, thank you!

Well, I was wrong.

You're not a self-important blow-hard like I thought you were.

- Thank you - Thank you. It means a lot to me.

What exactly are we talking about?

- You thanked your "lovely, lovely Susan". - Susan? Who the hell is Susan?

Oh no!

I can't believe you told them it was my birthday!

How else were we supposed to get free cake?

I dunno, pay for it?

Yeah, see, that's like free, but it's more expensive.

- What do we need free cake for anyway? - For the needy.

Can you stop thinking about yourself for one second?

- But you're eating it. - Like I'm going to give them untested cake.

- You guys wanna dance? - No, I can't dance.

Sure you can, it's just a self- confidence thing.

Dancing is another one of those Muslim no-no-no-no...

- I thought you said it was a choice. - Right now it's a rule!

- Okay. No problem. - I totally respect your thing,

- and I'm not just saying that. - Thank you, Nate.

But is it cool if I dance with her? I'm trying to make new friends.

- Fine. But after that, we go. - Totally.

Can I borrow a quarter?

Hello. I know what you're thinking.

What is a Muslim doing here?

I've been wondering the same thing.

Babes, booze, birthdays.

- I mean, the only thing I haven't done is... - Booyah! Haaaa!

Gamble.

Amaar, we hit the jackpot with your lucky quarter! Whoooo!

Boo... yah.

Sarah, Sarah, Sarah...

That's just great, Yasir.

- Dad, you've really done it this time! - I am so sorry.

But when you hear what happened, you're going to laugh...

- You must be the lovely Susan! - Actually, it's Sarah.

- I thought it was Sarah. - It is.

But then I thought, how could her husband

possibly screw up the name of the most important person in his life?

- How indeed? - Could you excuse us just a second?

Darling. Funny story. I was just about to go on stage,

and, hahaha, I met this woman named Susan.

And that's why you forgot the name of your wife?!

She was giving me the wrap-it-up signal, and it just sort of slipped in there.

- Isn't that a funny story? - No, Yasir, it's not.

A funny story is, a guy walks into a bar and the bartender asks,

why the long face... also, the guy's a horse.

It was an innocent mistake.

Susan is a very common name. Black-eyed Susan. Lazy Susan.

- That Susan I was engaged to - - Engaged to?!

Oh!

- Can you believe our luck?! - Starting to.

- Why so down? - It was your lucky quarter that won us the jackpot.

Hey, whoa. No. That was not my quarter.

As soon as I gave it to you it legally became yours.

It shoulda been mine. I've been playing that machine all day.

Yes, well... we should really get going.

We have all those perishables in the van...

perishing.

Totally. Look, Amaar, I know this isn't what you had in mind.

Thanks for being cool with everything.

Don't mention it. Ever. Please.

Jerk!

- Whoa. Did that guy just call you a jerk? - No, I think he just called you a jerk.

No, no. He just called you a jerk.