Sandheden om mænd (Truth About Men) (Sandheden om mænd)

Zentropa Entertainments presents

with support from The Danish Film Institute

in collaboration with Danish Radio and Film i Väst

The man primarily thinks of his own needs when having sex.

Which is only natural.

But if he wants to be a really good lover and satisfy his wife -

- he must learn to set his own needs aside and focus on hers.

Is it fun, sweetie?

- Yeah... - Good'.

TRUTH ABOUT MEN

Dear, Mads.

I love our new house.

But I never thought you'd move here with all your talk of the city pulse -

- and about not wanting to move so far away from Peter and Louise.

But you did it, and here we are at our housewarming.

If someone had told me, when we first met that you were the love of my life -

- I probably wouldn't have agreed right off the bat.

You were a bit awkward, after all.

And seeing you play with dolls at night -

- because you were making a movie, seemed a bit odd to me.

But then there was the sheet action...

Well, you sure knew how to work that.

I remember how surprised I was -

- but that was just until I found out that your mother's a sex therapist.

Thank you, Birthe!

Anyway, here we are 10 years later-

and you are the love of my life.

There's no doubt about that.

And now we have our own house, our own home.

And I'd like to share with you all that we've decided to have children.

I must have eaten something that doesn't agree with me.

Why don't I feel like other people? I don't feel anything.

I want to go play a computer game.

Who the hell gave us a china angel soap dish?

This is the kind of gift I can expect to get from now on.

Marie's speech is very long.

I've never written a movie speech.

The green and the yellow speech... why didn't I come up with that?

Who's he? I don't know half the people here.

It's funny with Marie... We've been together for 10 years -

- and she's not even my type. I could never get the girls I really wanted.

Like Signe Nørregaard who played the pretty girl in a movie.

I'd dreamt of her since 1st grade.

Wanna be my boyfriend?

I ended up with Frederikke who never showered after gym class.

Mette Reimann, who played the drums and smoked pot in recess.

The first Trilobite never knew that it would create something as amazing...

... as you.

I ended up with Pernille, the math whiz.

23 girls whom I was passionately in love with.

They never looked in my direction. Except for this one time.

The greatest night of my life.

Lærke Gramborg, senior year.

Every guy in school would've done anything to get her.

This is fate! You wanna be a writer? I love starting a book -

- not knowing if I'll be crying or laughing.

Exactly. That's what I want. To make people feel. And feel alive.

I write, too. Weird poetry and stuff.

About black rainbows and butterflies with wings of silk.

- I just know you're brilliant at it. - Aw, that's so sweet.

Black rainbows, butterflies with wings of silk.

- I have to go now. - Wait!

May I have your number? Can I see you again?

I'm sorry. I'm off to South Africa with my boyfriend so that would be tricky.

Hey, Mads! Write me a book some day.

I never saw her again. But I've started thinking about her.

Almost every day.

I also have a small present. A photo album.

Filled with great memories from our ten years together.

I can't wait for the next ten to begin.

- I love you. - I love you, too.

Nice compliment! Apparently I was good for something.

- Mom... - And you're having children?

Isn't that something you share with your mom?

- Didn't you get my email? - I'm so happy I'm besides myself!

Congratulations, Mads.

- I'll just get my coat... - They're leaving already.

Just the singles.

Peter and Louise. My best friends. They've both been single forever.

- Great party. - Where are you going?

- To The Dark Horse? - No! No more smartasses.

We serve brunch tomorrow at 11.

- We'll see how bad our hangover is. - Thanks.

Hey! All set? Let's go to the Dark Horse...

- Hello. - Hey.

I had this strange incident at the office the other day.

I thought you might find use for it in one of your movie scripts.

It involves a photo copier.

Look what Lars and Ulla gave us. Isn't it funny?

I think it's hideous.

Would it kill you for just one night to be a little nice.

Don't start, please. I actually spent an hour talking to your uncle.

Well, thank you for yet again sacrificing your precious time for me.

This can go on for hours. There's only one way to stop it.

You're right. I apologize. I'm sorry, sweetie.

I'm not good at that stuff.

- Hey... shall we go to bed? - Are you in the mood?

Something's up with my arm. I can feel these stabs in my left arm.

There are spots on my eyes and the colours are off. What's happening?

What if it's my heart? It's beating too fast just like Jonas' did.

- I'm writing on the Paul scenes. - What a waste of talent.

Do you get any writing done?

Well, I'm dabbling with a few things.

When you started here, you said you'd do TV for a year tops.

- But it's okay, you know? - Yeah.

What's that smell? Can't you smell it?

It's all blue. Somebody's...

Jonas?

Jonas was 37 years old. It's been 3 months, and he's still in a coma.

Is something wrong?

No. I just need some fresh air.

Maybe you ate something that doesn't agree with you.

- But it feels like it's my heart. - Don't worry, you're only 34!

Can worrying about heart attacks give you a heart attack?

We need more drama in this episode. A little extra...

Mads, we're working on the episode with the kidnapping of the minister.

Shouldn't Paul be in a dilemma of sorts? Mads, you're the structure guy.

'The structure guy'.

- Paul could desire the minister's wife. - Or run out of gas.

If Paul suddenly realizes that he forgot to pick up Emil from kindergarten...

... and there's no phone coverage!

I used to write scripts for major feature films.

My first one, 'The Journey to Zekaya', was a dream come true.

Uhm... Do you think we'll ever find Zekaya?

Of course we will, Sourpuss you moron, if you'd ever stop asking!

Guys? I have a minor problem.

The film was a huge hit with tons of merchandize.

Fuck, he's wearing the balaclava.

'Johnny's Last Heist' was a mixed success.

- Lose the cap! - But the critics didn't like it.

- Where's my lunch? - Shit! I forgot!

I didn't like it either. I felt like a copycat.

As if I'd already lost my innocence.

I got a 2nd chance on 'Fall Flower' adapted from a popular novel.

What is going on? What are you doing with Thorkild's daughter?

Father, it's not what you think. I love her.

You're no longer my son.

If only you had died instead of your brother.

I thought my stories would change the world.

Now I write scripts for the TV series 'Cop'.

I don't get to decide the story, I just construct lines and plot points.

Maybe we should simply reinforce the 1st plot point?

Right... the 1st plot point.

Most films are built around the same structure.

It consists of 5 plot points.

The first is the point of attack. An external event starts off the story.

You can't turn down 5 million!

- But the key figure won't play along. - I'm on the straight and narrow now.

The 1st plot point: He changes his mind and accepts the adventure.

Typically on false premises.

We'll do it, Finn! We'll find Zekaya.

Where real love exists.

The midpoint: Our key figure takes a surprising and definitive step.

It's the only way I'll ever inherit the estate.

Most often in a rain scene, symbolizing rebirth.

The 2nd plot point is emphasized by a symbolic death experience.

Fuck! We're returning the money.

He has an epiphany and resolves the conflict on its true premises.

It belongs to the orphanage!

And finally the ending, where the key figure has solved all conflicts -

- and realizes that the true values were there all along.

- So Zekaya didn't exist after all. - Who cares about that now.

- Uhm, will we ever find Zekaya? - Sourpuss, you moron!

And it always, always ends with a positive up-beat song -

- signalizing that no matter what, everything will be just fine.

Come on.

Plot points, twists, conflicts and optimistic fade-out songs.

Mads?

Yes... we need something surprising about Signe.

All scripts follow the same deadbeat system.

All dramatic touches have been revisited a thousand times -

and so have the tired old clichés.

"I am pregnant."

Everything I've ever done has been completely devoid of meaning.

They offered me the post as head of the sociology programme.

- I'll have ten people working for me. - That's great. Congratulations.

Thank you... Whsoor cklazsl wediwq cohtij.

- Hfjkwdo polgycl wcoiaiuss veispax. - Mm.

- Kiksxwsa piwids gwhrxowas lixel. - Yes...

Cewixb ozzoshlw bnwuuca trelkoope fetwefrwans gloxeer.

The other day I found a letter I wrote to myself at 17.

Feast on life and be alive!

Don't ever turn into dad. "Do not turn into dad."

Find the love of your life.

The one you dream of. Every second that passes is gone for good.

Life should be lived as a fucking guitar solo. Never get old.

Live, man! Live!

You can't freak out over a letter you wrote at 17!

- Why not? - At 17?

- I saw things clearer then. - 'Live life as a guitar solo'?

At 12 I wrote a letter stating I'd never touch a cock, because I found it gross.

I don't read that now and go: 'God! I was so perceptive!'

Besides, you were always depressed about some girl.

But I'm not the person I dreamt of becoming.

Nobody is! Oh, so you are?

We're halfway through life. And there's more to come!

- Look at Jonas! That was just snap. - We should go visit him.

Wow, I've never seen you this low.

I've spent ten years writing scripts based on a dramaturgical curve.

I live with a woman that I have nothing in common with.